Mistaken Judgement
by KairiM
Summary: Emily and Freddie are like blood brothers, they'd do anything for each other. Effy and Naomi are emotionless and cold. The pairs clash, until Emily sees a new side to Naomi, one she much prefers. Have they judged each other too quickly? And is it enough to stop the rebellious red head from going completely off the rails?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my second fan fiction; I've decided to write this along side Can you keep a secret. I got the story line in my head so I thought I'd try something a bit different to my other story. Please give it a go and let me know what you think of it and whether I should continue or not. Thanks :)**

**I do not own skins or any of the characters.**

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Mistaken Judgement.

Man, college is such a drag sometimes, especially when our teacher, Kieran, is in one of his usual shitty moods. I mean seriously, what is the point of him being a teacher if he hates it so fucking much? I think Freddie's thinking the same thing as he looks as bored as I feel, it's obvious that we're both thinking about how we'd rather be in his shed smoking a spliff than be in this shit hole. I hide my phone underneath the table and send him a text even though he's sat beside me, he smirks when he reads it.

**E: You thinking what I'm thinking?**

**F: Shed, spliff or how fucking boring this class is?**

**E: All 3 answers are correct ;)**

**F: Think we should invite Kieran? Seems like he could do with a spliff or two.**

I giggle.

**E: I would say yes, but that would mean we'd have to share with someone other than each other.**

**F: True, good thinking lil red ;)**

I shove him playfully, he knows I hate that fucking nickname.

"Kieran, reckon me and Emily could leave early?" Freddie asks without bothering to raise his hand, Kieran just sighs grumpily.

"Have you got a reason for wanting to leave this fucking class?" He growls in his Irish accent, and who wouldn't want to leave it?

"Emily's hormonal and I think she's going to kill someone if she doesn't get a cigarette anytime soon."

My mouth drops and I slap his arm harder than I intended, causing him to exclaim loudly and jerk his arm away, the class laughed.

"See what I mean?" Freddie chuckles whilst rubbing his arm.

"Fine, whatever just don't get fucking caught." We jump up quickly and grab our bags.

"Thanks, K man." Freddie shouts as we leave the classroom, we laugh as we walk down the corridor to our lockers to ditch our books.

Freds and I? We're not rebels if you're thinking that, we're just best friends that don't care about anything except each other. Our families are pricks, we've both been let down by the people who we thought were our friends, and we've both been screwed around by the same girl. Yes, I am gay and I love it, I never used to though, once upon a time I was shy, little Emily Fitch and I cared too much about what people thought of me. Freddie helped me though, he taught me to not care about what people thought of me and he helped me to accept who I am. We were friends before college, but we weren't close, we didn't become close until we both fell for and got screwed around by the luscious Effy Stoneham. But, let's not get into that. Freds and I are inseparable, we spend countless time in his shed with spliffs, and when we're high, we'll either just talk seriously, talk about the randomest shit we can think of, or we'll play video games that will have us rolling around in fits of laughter at the simplest thing, we have some good times. Okay, I lied, we always have good times!

After ditching our books we make our way outside, I pull a cigarette from the packet and place it between my lips, just as I light it someone plucks it from my mouth before I'm even able to have a decent drag. I look up to see…great, Effy Stoneham smirking at me whilst taking a drag of MY cigarette, she breaths it out in that annoying sexy fucking way of hers and puts it back to my lips, I finally get my now even more needed dose of nicotine. I close my eyes and sigh, blowing the smoke out by my nose; I feel Freddie put a protective arm around me.

"You two are skipping class? Wow, I never thought you had it in you." Oh for fucks sake, I didn't know she was here too. I open my eyes, Effy's still smirking at me and then I notice the blonde standing slightly behind her. Of course, what was Effy without her bitchy side kick, Naomi Campbell?

"Kieran's being a prick so we're going to have a smoke instead." Freddie answers sternly.

"Sweet." Effy says with no emotion whatsoever, I wonder how and why I ever fell for her sometimes. But that's how she and Naomi are; they are both closed off and emotionless, except Naomi is arrogant, stubborn and bitchy, where as Effy is mysterious, stubborn and has a way of knowing things without even being told. Around college they are both known as "Miss emotionless." It's a pathetic nickname really, but at the same time its perfect because there's no better word to describe either of them, but why the fuck do they both have to be so beautiful?

"Right, well we have somewhere else to be." I say and turn to leave, pulling Freddie with me.

"There's a party at Effy's tonight, you should both come." Me and Freddie stop, we already know that Effy's having a party from people talking around College so it was no surprise, but for them to be invited…no, for them to be invited BY Naomi was a surprise, a fucking big one at that. I look up at Freddie with my eyebrows raised, he looks as shocked as me, but he looks down at me with a smile and shrugs his shoulders.

"We'll think about it." He says simply without looking back and we carry on walking.

"What the fuck was that about?" I finally ask when we enter the shed, Freddie crashes in the chair and I on the sofa, he pulls a spliff out from his tin and lights it, taking a long drag before replying.

"Fuck knows, maybe their turning soft." He chuckles and hands me the spliff, I take a couple of drags and hold it in my lungs for a few seconds before breathing it out.

"Don't be ridiculous, I don't think they know the meaning of the word soft. I just can't believe Campbell invited us." I shake my head, the thought still bewilders me.

"We should be honoured, first class invitation." We laugh and pass the spliff back and forth; it doesn't take long until I can feel the delightful effects from the weed.

"Should we go?" Freddie asks, sounding rather spaced out, I try to think it over but I'm too busy concentrating on the smoke that twirls in the air, it just twirls and curls and makes pretty patterns, I'm too distracted so I come up with the simplest, and probably the best answer.

"Well, they'll both probably be shagging someone so we'll hardly see them; we can go and get trashed. A party's a party. "

It's decided, we'll make an appearance and get trashed and then fuck off, sounds good, but then anything sounds good after a spliff.

A few spliffs later, a bottle of vodka and a few beers and an attempt to get changed, we're stumbling down the road to Effy's house. We don't know what time the party starts so we made a safe bet and went for…whenever we could be bothered to move. I'm already completely fucked and so is Freddie but he has more control than I do, I keep swaying to imaginary music and almost falling every so often, Freddie just laughs every time and helps keep me on my feet.

This should be an interesting night.

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**So what do you all think? :) R&R please!**


	2. My friends come first

**Wow I'm really pleased with the reaction I got from the first chapter so I hope I don't disappoint :)**

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We stumble up to Effy's front door. Okay, I stumble and Freddie stumbles from trying to stop me from stumbling, it's the same thing! Anyway, I knock a little too hard and step back to await our greeting, I can't hear any music playing so I figure we're either early or we're at the wrong house, but if we are early then I'd much rather be at the wrong house. Too late, the front door opens to reveal a surprised looking blonde, she stares at us like we are aliens or something. Hmm, aliens…that could be interesting are they really all green and slimy or are they like some mutant worm things that are going to come and eat us all? Man, I think I've been playing too many video games. But video games are fun…fucking hell, Emily, your spacing out again, concentrate she's talking to you! Okay, she looks a little annoyed and her lips are moving, that means she's either saying something bitchy or sarcastic, and…wow she has really blue eyes…no concentrate Emily!

"You're early," Is the only thing I catch from Naomi's sentence and so I just grin at her, mainly because the muscles in my face have more control than the rest of my body. Lucky bastards…

"We didn't know what time it started so…wait what is the time?" The blonde just rolls her eyes and doesn't bother to check or answer my question so I figure we're much earlier than we're supposed to be. Ah fuck that's typical.

Naomi steps aside to let us in, thank god because I cannot be bothered to stand around anymore. I stumble past her and take my time to look around the place; I've been here before but under a different circumstance. It all looks different but that may be because the walls are dancing around me, I can't help but giggle at them.

"She's already trashed, isn't she?" I hear Naomi ask and Freddie chuckle, he agrees and then I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and I lean back against him. His embrace is always comforting.

Naomi mutters something again and runs upstairs, I'm not interested in what she said though because I'm completely fucked and that girls bitchy comments are the last thing on my mind, so instead I stagger into the living room and throw myself onto the sofa. I close my eyes for a second and I'm already taken over by darkness.

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"EMILY!"

I'm dragged from my slumber by the constant calling of my name, or shouting for that matter. I can feel that I'm close to waking up but then the shouting stops and I'm about to consider ignoring it and falling back into the peace that I was just surrounded by.

"EMILY!" The shout is closer and clearer this time that it takes me by surprise and scares the crap out of me. In automatic reflex my body shoots up and I instantly regret it because my head is thumping and spinning like it's on a fucking dance floor. Ugh, I groan and rub my temples and look up at the bitch that woke me up, my vision is rewarded with my sister.

"Ugh, Katie, what the fuck?" I try to snap but it comes out as a mumble and my twin continues to glare down at me.

"Why are you here, Ems?" Katie snaps again and I roll my eyes.

"The same reason you are, it's a party! " I bite back, Katie scowls and storms out of the now crowded living room. I look around, it's dark apart from a few flashing lights that dance upon the sweaty skin of people dancing to the music that thundered through the house. I hear a soft chuckle beside me and I soon realise that I'm not alone.

"God, your sister is pathetic." Oh god, it's Naomi. I turn to look at her, she's grinning back at me and I can tell she's drunk by the way she's trying to focus on me. She looks beautiful though, she's wearing long black top and grey skinny jeans, her hair is slightly curled and messy and the multi coloured lights make her pale skin glow. God, I don't know if it's just the drugs and alcohol that have been in my system but I'm suddenly finding this girl much more attractive.

"What are you doing, Naomi, why aren't you partying?" I ask her a little harshly but she doesn't seem to notice it.

"Um…well you looked like an idiot so I decided to join so you look a little less idiotic." I knew that she was lying so I continued to stare until she cracked, which she did. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Alright fine, people started to get a bit violent so I didn't want to leave you on your own." Whoa, what? She actually worried about me, since when did Naomi Campbell care about what happens to someone?

"Why do you care about what happens to me? You hate people." I know I'm being harsh but it's weird. Naomi rolls her eyes again.

"No, people just assume that I hate them."

"Well you do well at keeping your reputation." Naomi sighs and shakes her head and stands up to leave; I know I've offended her. I quickly reach out and grab her hand before she can walk away, she glares at me.

"Don't, I'm sorry…stay, please." I smile gently at her and she seems to consider it for a moment, I'm sort of relieved when she sits back down. I'm still holding her hand, she hasn't pulled hers away.

"Where's Freddie?" I ask, trying to break the tension between us. She looks at me again and smirks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh god, he's pulled some girl hasn't he?" She nods and I laugh, shaking my head. Naomi pulls a metal tin out from her top and opens it, revealing a couple of neatly rolled spliffs, she takes one and lights it.

"Jealous?" She asks, I gape at her and can't believe she's actually serious. I can't contain my laughter and I'm soon trying to stop myself from crying.

"Campbell, you are aware that I'm gay, right?"

Naomi grins and leans in towards me, her eyes never leaving mine. My breath hitches and I can feel the warmth of her skin radiating onto mine, she's so close and I'm sure that she's going to kiss me but then her face slips past mine and she whispers in my ear.

"I meant are you jealous of Freddie because he's kissing some fit girl?" I shiver at the feeling of her breath on my skin and I grip her hand tighter, she pulls back to look at me, still grinning and I can't stop myself from looking at her eyes, then her lips and back to her eyes. I take my bottom lip between my teeth and stare at her, she saw the way I looked at her lips and she's grinning even more than before, giving me the confirmation I need. I lean in slowly so that our lips are inches apart, I watch as her eyes close and then I close mine. I can taste her breath in my mouth; it's sweet with the exception of weed and alcohol. With one simple movement our lips will be together, but I don't do it, instead I tease her. I brush my lips over hers but I don't kiss her, I feel her lips move to try and bring them together but I quickly move and press butterfly kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. She groans and wraps her arms around my waist as I suckle on the soft skin beneath her earlobe hard enough to leave a mark; I curl my hand around her neck and pull her closer to me. God she feels and tastes so good, her skin is smooth and sweet beneath my lips, she tightens her hold on me as her breathing quickens as I work my way up and down her neck. I'm kissing my way back towards her lips; we're a second away from finally kissing when someone's shouting causes us to jump apart.

"Cookie's here so let's go fucking mental! " Oh fucking hell, of course that prick would show up, he's probably still fucking Effy and some other poor girl on the side. Cook bounces into the room, his short blonde hair glinting in the flashing lights and he's wearing that usual stupid fucking grin of his, like he thinks he's god's gift or something.

I've never been able to stand James Cook from the day I met him. He's a slime ball, thinks he can shag any girl he likes and thinks that every girl wants to shag him. He's crude and disgusting and ugh, he makes my skin crawl.

"You 'right, Naomikins? " He shouts when he spots us sat on the sofa, he bounces over and kisses her on the cheek, I feel my blood start to boil.

"How's it going, Emsy babe, better now that I'm here? How about me, you and Blondie go to it, threesome? "He waggles his eyebrows expectantly; I clench my fist beneath my leg and grit my teeth.

"Fuck off, Cook, I'd rather go celibate than go anywhere near your puny cock." I spit at him, he looks annoyed but he hides it behind an awfully fake laugh.

"Suit yourself, Red. How about it, Blondie?" Fucking hell, he doesn't know when to give fucking up! Naomi just shakes her head and smiles.

A blur of movement catches my eye and I look up to see Freddie making his way towards me, he's smiling so I know he hasn't noticed Cook, shit this wont be good.

"Finally, Ems I've been looking all over for you…oh." Freddie stops by the side of the sofa when his eyes flicker to Cook who bellows out and wraps his arm around his shoulder like they're still best fucking friends.

"Fredster, my man! How's it fucking going, got any ass tonight? How's that lovely sister of yours?"

"Cook, fuck off." Freddie snaps and shoves him arm away, resulting in a pissed off looking Cook.

"What the fuck's crawled up your fucking ass? " This is pissing me off too much; I stand up and wrap my arm around Freddie's waist.

"He told you to fuck off, and I told you to fuck off. So how about you just fuck off?!" The majority in the room have stopped and turned their attention towards us. Cook looks back and forth between me and Freddie and then grins like he's just figured something out.

"Fuckin' hell mate, you're shagging the muff muncher aren't ya?" This time I laugh and shake my head, I sneak a quick glance at the sofa to find that Naomi is no longer there. Fucking typical, I knew that bitch didn't care.

"Well, Cook, the whole point in me being a muff muncher is the fact that I don't do cock. But he certainly has a better chance of fucking me than you ever will." I see Cook grit his teeth and I love that I'm able to piss him off.

"Alright well fuck you's two, I'll just find our little princess, she's always gagging for a shagging from the cookie monster."

By princess, he means Effy. I feel Freddie tense up beneath my arm and I begin to pull him out of the crowd before anything happens, we're almost out of the room when I hear Cook shouting.

"What's the matter, Freds? Can't handle the fact that I'm ridin' your girl? Fuckin' tosser. " Right, that's e-fucking-nough. I let go of Freddie's waist and walk back the way we came from, I stride up to Cook who opens his mouth to say something but I slap him hard across the face…oh wait, he's fallen to the floor and his nose is bleeding, okay maybe I punched him. I push through the people who are now crowding around the boy on the floor and grab Freddie's arm, we push our way through the rest of the crowd and finally reach the front door. I wrench it open when I hear Cook shouting again, I slam it behind us and we sprint down the street, holding onto each other to stop either one of us falling.

We don't stop until we're far enough away from Effy's house and we're both gasping for air. I start giggling at the events that just occurred and Freddie joins in, he curls his arm around my waist and pulls me into his body and kisses the top of my head.

"I love you, Emily, but I never knew you had the strength to floor that prick." He chuckles and so do I.

"I love you too, and now we know, I'll definitely do it more often." We laugh together as we walk the rest of the way to his house. We smoke a spliff outside before sneaking in, I clean up and get changed, I keep most of my clothes in his room since I stay here more than my own home. Freddie's not in his room when I return so I figure that he's waiting for me in the shed.

I'm correct, and he's also got a couple more beers and is rolling a spliff, I crash down next to him on the sofa and pinch the already rolled spliff, I light it and appreciate the instant calming sensation from the weed. Soon we're both smoking and drinking the beers and laughing about the eventful night. He tells me about the girl he pulled but he can't quite remember the name, says the music was too loud for him to be able to hear it but I just laugh. I don't tell him about me and Naomi, simply because I forget because I'm pissed with her, and then we talk about what a prick Cook is.

"Did you mean what you said?" Freddie asks me, I frown as I try to remember what he's on about.

"What do you mean?" I have to ask because my memory is simply shit at the moment.

"That I have a better chance of sleeping with you than Cook does?" I laugh and slap him.

"Of course, Freds, I told him I'd rather go celibate than fuck him." Freddie howls with laughter to the extent that he can hardly breathe, which obviously makes me laugh so we're both rolling around on the floor of the shed in fits.

After a while we finally calm down and I shuffle over to lie besides him, Freddie wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. It doesn't take long for sleep to take over the both of us.

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**There you are, I hope it's alright. My little brother has been driving me mad today so I've had a bit of writers block again. But here it is, next chapter will be up soon so let me know what you think :) R&R!**


	3. Life's so unpredictable

**Skins is on tonight! Yay, looking forward to it?**

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I'm sat outside of college with Freddie whilst smoking a cigarette before we head to tutor. I'm glad that it's a warm, sunny day since I woke up with a monster of a hangover and I'm really not in the mood to freeze my ass off. Freddie keeps laughing at me because he's feeling fine and I look and feel like trash. He's such a bastard for not getting hangovers. Normally I wouldn't bother attending college if I had a hangover but I have to keep my attendance up because it's the only way my parents will let me stay at Freddie's. It keeps them off my back and it means I don't have to return home as often as I usually would, which I'm grateful for.

I take one last drag of my fag and flick it across the field; we have five minutes left before we have to be in tutor so I'm trying to cure my hangover as quick as possible by downing a bottle of water, it doesn't work though; instead it just makes me feel bloated and sick. With a couple of minutes left, me and Freds finally get up and make our way inside, I'm surprised with how many people are actually here, I mean a lot of them were more trashed than I was. Maybe they're lucky pricks like Freddie and wake up feeling joyous after indulging on alcohol and drugs. Ugh, whatever, I'm not really in the mood to care about them.

We enter our classroom and I look around, no sign of Effy or Naomi. This doesn't surprise me; they never usually turn up to college after a party. We take our seats and I sigh, I'm really not in the mood for this, I just want to go back to sleep and I know Freddie wont let me fall asleep in class. I want to slap him when he chuckles at my moodiness.

"Come on, Ems, its Friday. You'll have all weekend to rest." My spirits lighten when I think of the weekend, lazing around all day in the shed sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Surviving the day with them thoughts made it hell of a lot easier.

It doesn't take long for the classroom to eventually fill up, and still no Effy or Naomi, I roll my eyes. Our teacher comes in and she's babbling about some shit that I've decided to tune out, that's the good thing about tutor, all we have to do is attend and we don't have to pay attention. Everyone else is talking about the party, some are whispering about me punching Cook, which obviously makes me smile. I turn around in my seat, my eyes widen with what I see out of the window, I nudge Freddie and he turns to see what I'm looking at.

Naomi's outside the classroom talking to Effy, which was a surprise but the bigger surprise was seeing her with puffy, red eyes, and no, she hasn't come into college whilst stoned, she has come in crying.

"Fucking hell, that's something you don't see everyday." Freddie whispers to me, I nod and continue to watch them. By the looks of it, Effy's trying to comfort Naomi and convince her to come into the room, but as usual Naomi's being stubborn about it. It's weird though, seeing her like that. No one has ever seen Naomi cry, no one has ever seen her show any emotion because she's too much of a hard ass bitch. But seeing her now made me realise that in fact, Naomi isn't emotionless and she actually does care if something is able to make her cry. I always thought I'd be satisfied if I saw them show some kind of emotion, but seeing Naomi cry is…rather horrible actually, and for some reason I feel the urge to go out there to hold and comfort her, which obviously I wont but that doesn't stop me from wanting to.

I look at Freddie and I think he's thinking the same as me, his eyes are filled with concern and I know we're both wondering as to what could possibly make Naomi Campbell cry. I try to take my mind of it, and do so by noticing the purple bruise on her neck that she's trying to cover with her hair, I smirk and lean in to whisper to Freddie.

"See that hickey on Naomi's neck? Guess who gave it to her." I lean back and wink, he frowns at first but then catches on, he mouth drops in amused shock.

"No way, you got it on with Campbell?" He whispers to me in surprise, I giggle.

"Almost, but then fucking Cook had to show his face." I rolled my eyes and Freddie sighed, we turned our attention back to the two girls who were now approaching the classroom door, everyone turned to look at them when they enter the room, some people start to laugh, soon followed by others and I know it's because they've noticed that Naomi's been crying. They all start shouting things that really piss me off.

"What's up Miss Emotionless? Forgot your bitchy comeback of the day?"

"Can we take a picture? It's once in a blue moon that you show another emotion other than Bitch."

"Fucking hell, she's actually crying. Hey, Campbell, did you win the bitch of the year award?"

I watch the two girls whilst the class continue to shout things, Effy looks like she's restraining herself from punching the fuck out of them all and Naomi looks even more upset, I see tears welling up in her eyes and my heart goes out to her. I'm on the verge of snapping but Freddie gets there first, he stands up and slams his fists on the table, the bang making the class fall into silence.

"Why don't you all shut the fuck up okay? You can all see that she's fucking upset so stop being heartless pricks, got it? " I admire him for standing up for the girl who's never done anything good for him before, but I know it's because he has the same feeling as me, the feeling that underneath there's a different side to Naomi and something is obviously hurting her enough for it to show. He's got the same urge to defend her as I do, so I put in my say as well.

"Yeah for fucks sake, come on. You all have the rights to cry when something upsets you and so does she. Just because Naomi has a better way of hiding her emotions than the rest of you, doesn't mean she's heartless. In fact she probably has a bigger heart than the majority of you pricks in here, so just shut the fuck up."

I'm half expecting that our comments will cause an uproar from the class, and I'm surprised when it doesn't. They all look speechless, even Effy and Naomi look speechless and no one says another word as the two girls take their seats.

Through out the rest of the day I feel like I'm being watched, some people are gossiping about me and Freddie sticking up for the "Emotionless." But that's not really the problem; several times I've looked around and caught Effy and Naomi staring at me and I'm beginning to wonder whether it was such a good idea sticking up for them, I don't know, Freddie thinks it's a little weird too but he's more pissed off at the fact that neither of them have thanked us for what we done. Oh well, what were we to expect?

When college is over, I practically fly out of the double doors in desperate need of a cigarette. It had been one fucking weird day and I'm glad it's over so I can forget about it all.

"So what shall we do?" I ask Freddie as we start to walk away, he shrugs.

"Let's go to the park, the day's too nice to spend it in the shed." It sounds like a good idea because it is a fucking nice day, the sun is shining, the temperature is perfect and I know we should enjoy it whilst it lasts since the English fucking weather is so unpredictable.

Instead of going to the park, we make our way to a field that's opposite it and sit in the shadow of the trees, Freddie places his bag against the tree trunk and uses it as a pillow, I lay the other way so that our bodies are making some sort of T shape and rest my head on his chest and close my eyes. I'm glad that I'm wearing loose jeans and a black tank top because it's much warmer than I realised, I have my blue and yellow checker shirt tied around my waist just in case it does get cold, which at the moment that seems unlikely.

I reach into my jean pockets to pull out my packet of cigarettes and lighter, I place one between my lips and just as I'm about to light it, someone snatches it out of my fucking mouth again. I groan and open my eyes, knowing exactly who I'm going to see.

Yup, Effy with my fag and an amused looking Naomi, I sigh.

"What do you want?" I mumble and Freddie shuffles as he finally realises that we have company. Neither of them reply, instead Effy lights my cigarette with her own lighter so I decide to pull another one out for myself, but then I hesitate and stupidly decide to offer one to Naomi, who takes one without thanking me. I roll my eyes and hand one to Freddie and then finally get my own.

"We just came to say thanks…for earlier." Naomi mumbles.

"It took you all fucking day to just say a simple thank you?" Freddie snaps and I let him, I'm not in the mood for their shit either.

"Better late than never." Effy says with no emotion, as always.

"Whatever. I'm sure you would have done the same for us. Oh wait, scratch that, no you wouldn't." I growl, I really just want them to fuck off.

"What's your fucking problem?" Naomi asks sounding annoyed, I laugh at her.

"Right now, you're my fucking problem. We stuck up for you even though you've both been nothing but complete twats to us and you can't even thank us properly. Just fuck off." Both girls sigh and I'm glad but pissed off when they finally leave.

"I think the shed is calling us." Freddie says and squeezes my shoulder; I look round and grin at him.

Oh yeah, the shed was definitely calling us. We've had a spliff each and the shed is thick with smoke, it's so bloody hot that Freddie is only wearing his grey tracksuit bottoms and I've removed my top so I'm only in my loose jeans and a black bra. Freddie has seen me topless plenty of times since it are a regular occurrence when we get stoned and the shed gets overheated. Normally I'm usually completely chilled after a spliff but for some reason I can't stop fidgeting and I can't stop thinking about sex. I then realise that my little jiffy with Campbell has left me sexually frustrated, I groan.

"What's up little buddy? " Freddie asks me from across the room, I can barely see him through the smoke but then a spliff flies at me from no where so I figure he's not too far from me. I light it gratefully.

"I'm sexually frustrated." I moan like a child, but seriously it's so fucking annoying! Freddie just laughs and sits down in front of me, also smoking another spliff.

"Your thing with Naomi not good enough?"

"No! She's the reason why I'm frustrated, Freds. I think I'm frustrated and high enough to even have sex with you right now." We both laugh, but its true!

"As much as I'd love to take you up on that offer babe, you'd probably kill me when you're sober." He pats my knee sympathetically but patronisingly. I scowl at him.

"Damn you and your…goodness." I laugh at my shit choice of words but my mind may as well be else where when I'm high.

"You love me for it."

"Someone has to." I grin when he pretends to be offended and wrap my arms around his neck, he takes advantage and grips the back of my legs and stands up so that he's practically giving me a piggyback, I squeal and tighten my hold on him whilst he spins me around. I laugh against his bare back and beg him to stop as I know that any minute now he's going to trip and send us flying across the room.

Suddenly the shed doors swings open filling the room with the dazzling light from outside, blinding both me and Freddie and causing him to stumble back and fall down onto the sofa with me still on his back. I cry out in pain as his body crushes mine in an awkward position and he quickly jumps up to check that I'm okay, which I am, sort of.

"Ah fuck, I'm glad I'm not a guy because I think I would have just lost my manhood." I groan and cross my legs. We look up to see who had come in and saw two girls coughing and trying to wave away the thick clouds of smoke that was now pouring out through the door, clearing the room from the mist and making everything seem brighter. I have to squint until my eyes adjust to the light, normally I'd be pissed off for anyone, especially them two, for barging into the shed without knocking or giving some kind of warning but thanks to the weed I'm too affected by the fucking light to give a shit.

"Fuckin' hell, haven't you two heard of opening up a window?" Effy coughs a little more and I roll my eyes.

"Fuckin' hell, Eff, I think that's the most you've ever said in one sentence before." Freddie snaps and I start giggling.

"It's funny 'cause it's twue." I say in a stupid voice and giggle even more, earning a glare from both Effy and Naomi.

"We just want to apologise, though I don't see why." Naomi states and folds her arms over her chest, she keeps shooting glances at me on the sofa and I can't stop myself from grinning because lets face it, she is so checking me out right now, so I decide to put it to the test. I get up and stretch my arms up to the ceiling, I then shimmy my jeans down a little so they hang loosely on my hips, revealing the black band of my girl boxers, I also decide to run my fingers through my soft red hair and mess it up. I stretch again and gasp when my back cracks and then giggle. I look back and not only do I have Naomi's attention, I have Effy and Freddie's as well. Naomi raises her eyebrow when our eyes meet.

"Did we interrupt something?" Oh for fucks sake! Is she in denial about me being gay or something? I roll my eyes at her.

"Other than Freddie spinning me around like a lunatic and smoking a couple of spliffs…no, nothing." I mock her posture by folding my arms over my chest too.

I move away from the sofa and signal them to sit down, if they're going to apologise I want it to be proper.

"Whatever." Effy shrugs her shoulders and flicks her hair to the side before prancing across the room and flopping down on the sofa, Naomi follows looking slightly on edge. I grit my teeth, they are both really starting to piss me off and I know I can't stop myself from snapping at them.

"Alright, let me just make this nice and clear," I start as I glare at them, they look at me in surprise from the way my voice has turned deeper and huskier, it does this when I'm either angry, turned on or tired. "Don't you dare come here and continue to treat us like shit after what we done for you earlier. You can both go around and act like you don't give a shit but we can see straight through you, you may act like you don't want or need anyone but it's clearly fucking obvious that you do because otherwise, neither of you would be here right now. So how about you get your head out from your ass or from each others for that matter, and let us care. Other wise you can just fuck off."

Freddie comes and stands next to me, showing that he agrees with what I've just said, Effy continues to stare at me and Naomi is looking at her nails as she picks away the light blue paint on them. I don't know whether they've completely ignored what I just said or if in some way I've gotten through to them. Neither of them speak, neither do me or Freddie, we just watch and wait. Eventually Naomi raises her head to look at me, her eyes filled with tears again.

"My mum might have cancer."

**

**Let me know what you think, I know the thing with Naomi's mum is harsh but it's the way to get Naomi to open up :) R&R please, I love to know what you all think!**


	4. I know what it means to let someone in

**A/N:** Thanks for the lovely reviews again. Seriously I appreciate them so much, here's the next chapter. It takes a weird turn for a while haha, hope its okay though. Let me know what you think.

**

Oh fucking hell will someone please shoot me or tape my fucking mouth shut when I'm high. I'm standing here, staring at the girl in front of me with my mouth wide open and probably looking like the biggest bloody idiot and jackass. Freddie hasn't moved either, Effy is looking everywhere possible except us and Naomi has gone back to looking at her finger nails.

Well, isn't this nice and fucking awkward. Christ, Emily say something so you don't look as much of a prick as you do now…nope, nothing. Well aren't I fucking great?

The fact is I want to say something; I really do, but what? I blow a fuse and the most closed off girl from college admits to me her reason for showing some form of emotion. Seriously what is one supposed to say to that? Actions would be easier but that probably won't go down so well, so my only option now is to try and not let Naomi down, I asked her to open up and to let me care and now I must do the caring.

"I'm so sor…-"I begin but the look that Naomi is now giving me tells me to stop, she looks like she's about to kill me.

"Don't. I don't need your fucking sympathy." Naomi snarls at me and I almost feel myself backing down, but I clench my fists and show that Naomi isn't the only one who can be a hard ass.

"I wasn't apologising about your mum, I was apologising for not being considerate of the fact that you were upset." It's true, I guess.

"Yeah, well apologies are just words, they don't mean anything." She continues to glare at me and I feel myself becoming angry again.

"You're right, words mean nothing so I guess you'll have no problem with me saying this; I don't know what your fucking problem is, Campbell, and I don't know why you're such a cunt all the time. But I do know that I was a fucking idiot for believing that there's a different side to you, but there isn't because you're just a bitch through and through. You push people away Naomi, because you're scared of them, you think that everyone is going to hurt you if you let them in. You think that they will just leave you so you'd rather them not be there in the first place. But what about your mum Naomi, are you going to push her away like everyone else just because one day she might –"

My sentence was cut off again but this time it was because Naomi's fist connected with my face and I hit the floor like a sack of shit. I feel my head smash against something hard, which I'm guessing is the floor and I can't help but cry out at the excruciating pain that explodes through my head and my face. It takes me a moment to register what's going on, I'm staring at the ceiling through blurred vision, I can feel something warm on my face and I can taste the blood in my mouth, my face hurts but it's nothing compared to the pain that's shooting through my skull. Freddie suddenly comes into my sight but I can only make out his blurred outline, I feel myself being pulled up into a sitting position and I can see the outline of Effy holding onto Naomi, they are both just standing there so I guess they're watching. I hear Freddie speak but I can't make it out, only then do I realise that my ears are ringing and everything sounds as blurred as it looks. I wish he hadn't moved me because the room is now spinning, I squeeze my eyes shut and then open them and blink a few times but nothing changes. I hear more voices, panicked and rushed. I feel sick and I know I need to lie down so I pull against the faint arms that are holding me and slump back, I think I was out before I reached the floor.

**

I wake up to the sound of a very irritating and very repetitive beeping. I want to punch whatever the fuck it is but my body feels like a sand bag, I feel weak and disorientated and I don't even know what's going on. I slowly open my eyes, I'm lying in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar white room, it looks like a hospital, but why would I be in hospital?

The last thing that I remember is talking to Effy and Naomi in the shed but I have no recollection of how I come to end up in hospital. My head hurts, it throbs actually, I want to move but I'm scared of hurting myself. I slowly attempt to turn my head to the side, my neck is stiff and the whole process is unbearable when I feel like such a led weight. I close my eyes and a groan rumbles in my throat which almost causes me to choke with how sore and dry it is.

I hear a shuffle of movement beside my bed but I'm too out of it to see who it is, I hear the sound of liquid and I almost scream that I need it, but a soft hand curls around my neck and manages to lift my head up without causing too much pain, something brushes against my lips and so I open them, I feel the curve of a cup and then the cool liquids pours into my mouth, I swallow it desperately and I could cry at how good it feels. I gently pull back when I've had enough and the cup is gone and my head is lowered back to the pillow. I open my eyes and all I see are the sad blue eyes staring back at me, in any other state I think I probably would have freaked out but right now I'm more confused than anything. Why would Naomi be here and be looking after me? It makes no sense.

I want to move because I'm so uncomfortable lying down, I shuffle my body and try to push myself up by my shoulders but it doesn't work, it just hurts and I accidentally groan again which causes Naomi to jump to my side again. I feel her hands firmly on my waist and she helps me to push myself up into a more comfortable position. I smile at her gratefully but she doesn't return it, she just looks sad as she sits in the chair next to my bed. I'm really fucking confused right now.

"What…happened?" I manage to ask, each word sounds slow in my hoarse voice. Naomi just watches me.

"How much do you remember?" She asks softly which surprises me; I'm so used to hearing her bland tone, her soft tone is so much nicer, beautiful in fact, it suits her. I try to concentrate on her question but it's difficult with the pain, all I can remember is being in Freddie's shed and talking to her and Effy. I remember feeling annoyed at some point but I don't know why, I can't even remember what we were talking about. I sigh in frustration and attempt to shake my head, which I fail to do.

"Nothing, all I remember is us being in the shed, I was talking to you and Effy but I can't remember what about. I mean it's there but I just…I just can't fucking…can't fucking focus on it."

I'm trying so hard to try and remember that I forgot what I was trying to say and focusing on the words as well as my blurred memory is fucking frustrating, I want to scream because I'm so annoyed. Why can't I just remember it?

"Hey, calm down." Naomi says in the same soft tone and she takes my hand in hers, I stare at our entwined fingers whilst she continues to speak. "You have post-traumatic amnesia, it means that you probably can't remember the events leading up to the injury, but it should go soon." She smiles sadly at me but I just gape at her because I can't remember a fucking thing.

"Injury, what happened?" I ask more urgently this time and Naomi looks away.

"I hit you and you fell and hit your head on the table. When you didn't reply we thought you were just dazed but then you passed out and your head was bleeding badly, we didn't realise how serious it was until they said that you might have a concussion." I continue to stare at her because I'm shocked at what she's just told me, more so at the fact that I might have a concussion than her hitting me, actually I find it quite funny and I have to stop myself from giggling, Naomi then looks at me like I'm mad.

"I deserved it." I say to her, I know that I can't remember but I know that Naomi wouldn't hit out unless something provoked her.

"How do you know?" Naomi asks, obviously confused at how I could know something if I couldn't remember it.

"Because I'm hoping that you wouldn't just put me in hospital for no reason." I smirk at her and she manages a small smile.

"And if it turns out that you did, then I'll come and kick your ass." I add playfully which causes Naomi to laugh, it's a sweet sound and it makes me smile. I prefer her when she's like this, and I like that she's still holding my hand.

"How long have I been out for?"

"Over an hour or so, you hit your head pretty hard but luckily it hasn't caused any damage to your skull."

"It probably has to my brain; I'd hate to think of how many of my little men got knocked out because of you." I giggle but Naomi looks away again, I instantly feel bad.

"Naomi…hey I was messing around." I tug on her hand for her to come to me and she does, still looking sad.

I pull her towards me so that she's standing at the side of my bed, I try to move so I can rest my head against her but it's still hard to move, luckily she leans in and I rest my head against her shoulder.

I can feel the warmth of her skin through the material of her top, she smells so good and I can't stop myself from tilting my head slightly and pressing my lips to her neck. She gasps and I feel her shudder which makes me smirk, I reach up and pull her face towards mine and brush my lips against her. The kiss is soft and she moves her lips with mine in a gentle synchronisation like she's trying desperately not to hurt me.

I don't understand why the thought of Naomi kissing me back feels so good, but it does. The only problem is that it's hurting my head by leaning forward so I grip the collar of her top and pull her down with me so that my head is finally back on the pillows. She hesitates now and open my eyes to look into hers, they're filled with uncertainty, and I know she wants this but I know she's getting scared.

"It's okay Naomi," I whisper and kiss her again, she's still hesitant, "come on." I whisper against her lips and then she finally kisses me. At first it's long, gentle and with no tongues but then Naomi cups my face with her hand and I feel her tongue brush against my bottom lip, begging me for entry and of course I allow it.

Her tongue is soft and warm against mine; she tastes so sweet that I can't help but moan which obviously sparks something inside of Naomi because she suddenly starts kissing me harder, her tongue thrashing against mine, I bite her bottom lip gently and tug it, she moans and…god it's such a fucking turn on. I tangle my fingers through her blonde curls and pull her closer, if I wasn't on a hospital bed I'd more than likely be pulling her on top of me.

Her lips pull away from mine and instead they travel along my jaw line and across to my ear, she nips my ear lobe and this time I gasp. She continues kissing and biting up and down my neck, I'm breathing so fast and heavy because I'm so turned on but so frustrated that I can't do anything to the girl that's currently teasing me so I slip my hand up the back of her top and drag my nails down her back, she groans against my neck but continues what she's doing. I slide my hand across to the front of her body, her stomach quivers against my touch and I push my hand underneath her bra, she gasps as I knead her breast and then teases her nipple between my fingers. Naomi jerks away.

"Emily, stop!" I pull my hand away quickly and stare up at her; I'm worried that I might have just crossed the line.

"What, what's wrong?" She shakes her head.

"Nothing, but if you don't stop I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from fucking you right now." I laugh but secretly inside my heart is doing flips, I don't understand it. I mean I've always found Naomi attractive and I definitely would have fucked her at any chance but now I actually want her, and I want her to want me. I can't seriously have feelings for her, can I? I can't stand her when she's being a bitch but it's when she acts like this that I adore her. Maybe…maybe I'm falling for the real Naomi, not the bitch Naomi that protects her. Jesus Christ, I actually have feelings for Naomi Campbell.

I stretch my arms out towards her and pout, she giggles and wraps my arms around her waist and then leans in to kiss me again, I retract one arm so I can brush my fingers across her soft cheek and then curl my hand round the back of her neck, it doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen and we're both as turned on as before.

"Mm…I want…need you…so bad." Naomi whispers between each kiss, I smile.

"I know…same…can't we just…leave?" She pulls away then.

"No…I should actually call your parents and let them know you're awake." Wait she met my parents and they allowed her to stay here with me?!

"Don't worry we lied to them. Freddie would have stayed but his dad was pretty pissed off at him and I'd rather me be here then Effy. Your parents came here from work, they were going to stay but your mum started fussing over something so I told her that I'd stay with you until you were awake. I was actually quite surprised that she let me. "I roll my eyes, of course my mum didn't fucking care.

"I don't get on with my parents." I say bitterly, Naomi sits back down on the chair and takes my hand again.

"How come?" She asks and watches me closely like she's fascinated. I know she's curious as to why I wouldn't get along with my "perfect" family.

"They can't accept that I'm gay and they can't accept the fact that the reason why I don't ever go home and why I spend all of my time with Freddie and drink, smoke and take drugs is because they can't accept who I am. I was always the shy twin and I've always been overshadowed by Katie so they think I'm going through some childish phase to get attention. I don't see why they complain though; I mean it gets me out of their hair. All they wanted was Katie and James; I was just the extra baggage." It feels weird saying all of this to Naomi since the only person I speak to about my home life is Freddie. But it also feels kind of nice to let someone else understand me. Naomi squeezes my hand and gives me a small smile.

"I'm sure it's not like that, I'm sure they love you for who you are." I snorted a laugh.

"It is like that, my mum has her mind set on the perfect world with the perfect life, in a perfect home with perfect children. She despises me because I'm the lesbian daughter who destroyed her perfect world. Seriously one time when my Nan was coming to visit she actually bribed me with money so I wouldn't tell them." I laugh at the memory.

"What the fuck, what did you do?"

"Took the money and got my friend to buy me alcohol, then I got pissed in front of them all and told them anyway." Naomi roars with laughter to the point where she can hardly breathe and I chuckle along with her, more so to the state she's in than the memory.

"Oh my god," she breathes out after she stops laughing. "That's classic! I can just imagine your mums face, bet it was priceless."

"I don't think I've ever seen her so mad before, I was grounded for like over a month. But that's when I found the strength to start rebelling and I snuck out all the time, eventually I just stopped going home unless I needed to get something. I tried being the good daughter but I wasn't going to pretend like I was somebody else."

"Yeah you shouldn't have to. Anyway I'll get the doctor to call them so that you can get out of here." Naomi stands up and presses a lingering kiss to my forehead before gently capturing my lips with hers; she smiles at me before she exits the room.

I sigh at the fluttering feeling in my stomach. I know I like Naomi, and I know that she likes me back but I just hope that I'm not digging myself a deeper grave by trusting her to stay this way.

**

Please review and let me know what you think :)


	5. Times not on my side

**To HyperFitched**: Thank you for pointing that out, fortunately I have never had a concussion so I wasn't too sure as to what it would be like. Just imagine Emily is the hulk and can fight through a concussion just for Naomi haha ;) Other than that, I'm glad you're enjoying it and thank you for reviewing and pointing out my mistake :)

Thank you to everyone else who have reviewed as well :)

**

Naomi left after the hospital called my parents, I really wish she didn't but I knew that there was no way my mum was going to let me out of the house until she was sure that I was well enough. It wouldn't bother me if I knew it was because she cares, but obviously I know different.

It didn't take my parents long to arrive and even though I really didn't want to see them, I was considerably glad to finally get out of that damn hospital. We didn't get to leave straight away as we had to talk to the doctors about what I could and couldn't do, pretty much I wasn't allowed to do fuck all but rest.

Neither my mum nor my dad spoke to me as we made our way out of the hospital but as soon as we got into the car my mum turns to glare at me.

"I'm disappointed in you, Emily." She snaps and I gape at her.

"Why the hell are you disappointed in me, what did I do?"

"You know what you did."

"No mum, I don't but can you please shut up? My head is killing me." I groan and rest my head on the window; all I want to do is sleep.

"Don't speak to your mum like that Ems." I hear my dad say and I roll my eyes but luckily they don't speak to me again after that.

The next thing I know someone's shaking me lightly to wake me up. I look up groggily to see my dad and our house behind him. He helps me out of the car and holds me up as we walk to the front door, my head still throbs and I'm too tired for my body to function properly. I hear the door open and I hear voices when we enter the house, I'm about to move towards the stairs but then I feel myself being pulled into a different direction, I fall down onto something soft and comfortable so I snuggle into it, a blanket is draped over my body and I pull it tighter around me, it's so much more comfortable compared to the bloody hospital beds.

I listen to the quiet voices around the house, I hear my parents and then I hear James and Katie. I can't quite hear what they are saying but from the tones I'm guessing that they are talking about me, I'm glad that they don't sound angry because I don't think I can handle that, I just want to rest comfortably whilst I'm able to. I know that as soon as I'm feeling better I will be bundled with a thousand questions, I don't know what to say to them, Naomi said that they lied to my parents so I don't even know the fake reason, she also said that the amnesia should eventually wear of so I won't be able to use that as an excuse for too long.

I don't remember falling asleep again but I'm soon being woken up, I groan but then I hear my sisters voice and for once she's speaking nicely to me, I have to say I'm shocked, I thought she'd still treat me like shit regardless of my concussion. I look up to see her holding a glass of water and two small tablets; I smile gratefully and push myself up into a sitting position, I hate taking tablets but the water feels great as I chug it down.

Surprisingly Katie doesn't say anything as I lay back down; instead she just sits beside me and strokes my hair. It's a sweet, comforting gesture that I don't often receive from her so I don't question it, I just enjoy it. I'm slowly starting to drift of but I'm still awake enough to feel Katie lean in and kiss my forehead.

"Miss you, Emsy." She whispers in my ear and then leaves. I consider stopping her but to tell you the truth I'm a little more than shocked by her actions and I'd rather savour the moment than kill it with conversation. It's just something I would have to bring up at a different time.

I curl back up into a comfortable position and smile; I fall asleep feeling a bit more optimistic about the day to come.

The next morning I'm rudely awakened by James running through the house in some excited frenzy. I groan and pull the blanket over my head to block some of the light that is streaming into the room but it doesn't really work, not that it'd matter even if it did because instead I have a reoccurring headache that has this time been caused by my retarded little brother. Okay, so he's not really retarded but I do question it some times, I mean he spied on me and Katie in the shower so if that doesn't scream "I've got a problem!" Then I don't know what does. But anyway, if it wasn't for my headache and my lack of will to move then I would definitely be up and kicking his ass by now.

I sit up and strain my eyes to see through the light that is pretty much blinding me. I see my dad sat in the chair which is next to the sofa, he hasn't realised that I'm awake as he's staring intently at the tv which was on quiet obviously to not disturb me, at least he had some decency. I cough quietly enough for him to know that I'm awake; he looks at me and smiles.

"How do ya feel, darlin'?"

"Alright, I guess." I yawn and cringe at the soreness at the back of my head. I carefully rub my hand over it, it doesn't feel as swollen and the stitches aren't as painful, they're still sore though. My dad smiles sympathetically at me and moves from his seat to sit down next to me on the sofa and wraps his arm around my shoulders, I rest comfortably against his chest and he places a kiss on the top of my head.

My dad wasn't a problem when it came to the issue between me and my mum, he loved me whether I was gay or straight or even transsexual (although I think it would scare him quite a bit,) and I loved him for that, I know I may have said that I don't get along with my parents but really, my dad is more of a friend to me. It's weird to think that since I came out about being gay I've been much closer to him than before, maybe it is because he doesn't have the worry of me getting pregnant. Or maybe it's because unlike my mother, he knows it's not some stupid phase I'm going through because he saw how much I used to struggle with accepting it myself, countless times he had caught me crying or just staring blankly at the walls but he'd just hold me and tell me that it would be okay even though he didn't know what was going on. When I told them that I was gay, it all finally made sense to him and he didn't judge me, unlike Jenna who had a complete fucking hissy fit about it and sent me to my room. That night I cried again and again my dad came in and just held me, except it felt so much better because he finally knew and he didn't care. I couldn't ever hate my dad; he's such a good person even if he does let Jenna walk all over him. But my mum however, well…the love is slowly fading and soon it's going to fizzle out if she carries on being such a bitch. Yes it may sound harsh but hey, she brought this on herself, we could have carried on playing happy fucking families if she wasn't such a homophobic cow. It makes me laugh that she always says that "I'm too young to know what I want in life" but as soon as Katie has a new "boyfriend" she practically starts planning their fucking wedding even though they're only shagging and Katie will dump him in a week for some other prick.

I'm glad my dad's not like that, I'm glad that he doesn't judge me but I hate that because of my mother I feel unwelcome in my own home and so I stay away which results in me missing my dad and my dad missing me. But from Katie's actions and words last night, it seems that my dad isn't the only one who is being affected by this situation. Katie's hardly keen on the idea of me being gay either but at least she can accept and get over it because at the end of the day, we will always be twins and we will always love each other. But shouldn't my mother, the woman who carried and gave birth to me and looked after me feel the same unconditional love for me? I always ask dad that and he claims that she does love me; if she does then she has a funny fucking way of showing it. The situation doesn't affect her in anyway so therefore she can ignore my dad whenever he tries to defend me, it's a shame that he's as scared of her as everyone else is, I mean she can be a right psycho sometimes.

I don't think the situation affects James because I think he's too young to properly understand what's going on, the only way it possibly affects him is by giving him one less person to spy on, pervy shit. But in a way I'm glad that he doesn't understand, there's no doubt that mum's filled his head with lies by telling him that I'm going through some teenage problem and rebelling for no reason. James knows that I'm gay and he thinks that's the reason why I'm rebelling, so I can go out and get girls, he doesn't know that really it's because our mother can't accept me as I am and has no problem with letting me stay elsewhere. I wouldn't mind staying at home if she didn't make me feel so uncomfortable all the damn time.

I sigh and dad gives me a gentle squeeze, I smile, I do miss his company when I'm away.

James is still running back and forth from his bedroom to the kitchen, I can hear clattering in other rooms and I look up at my dad with my best puzzled expression.

"That McPherson boy is coming round." Dad answers bluntly, he likes Gordon as little as the rest of us do.

"Ugh, that boy's a bad influence on James. Why's mum even allowing him to come over?"

"It keeps James happy, and she doesn't think he's the problem."

"Man, she's so arrogant when she wants to be."

"Yeah well, _she knows best._" I laugh at the sarcasm in his voice. We both know how ignorant mum can be, she'd believe anything if it meant she could live forever in her bubble with her perfect world.

The doorbell rings a minute later and dad jumps up to answer it, obviously hoping to give Gordon a look that'll make him crap his pants. My dad's a big softy behind closed doors but he can be quite intimidating when he wants to be, that's what I love about him, he's protective of us because he loves us, unlike my mum who just wants to have her name written in gold all the time.

I'm tempted to quickly run up stairs before dad allows Gordon to enter the room because no doubt he'll make some lesbian comment which will piss us all off, I wouldn't mind if it meant my dad could throw him out by his ear but instead my mum would let him stay and have a go at me later. Yup, that's how it works; pretty much everything is my fault, hence why I stay away as much as possible.

My luck quickly changes though when dad opens the door and I hear my best friends' voice.

"Good morning, Mr Fitch. I've just come to see if Emily's okay."

"Ah, Freddie come on in lad, she's in here."

Dad likes Freddie; well he probably wouldn't if I was straight but because I'm not he's had no problem with getting to know him. They get along quite well actually, Freddie knows what to say to my dad, anything that involves muscles, fitness or sports and my dad will be all ears. It's funny though because Freddie could work out every hour of every day for the rest of his life and he'd still stay stick thin.

I smirk at Freddie when he comes into the room and he's grinning at me like an idiot.

"Emily! Man, you look rough."

"Fuc…thanks Freds; you know how to raise a girl's confidence." He chuckles and moves towards me and drops a kiss on my forehead.

"You look beautiful as always." I smile and he sits next to me on the sofa, he wraps his arms around me and I lean against him, he may be much skinnier than my dad but he still has a comforting embrace.

"How are you feeling?" He asks softly whilst rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

"Better, my head still hurts though." He kisses my head again and I giggle, he can be a soppy sod sometimes.

"Rob what do you want for…oh. Hello Frederick, I didn't know you were here." I cringe when mum says Freddie's full name, I hate it as much as he does and that's exactly why she does it.

"I just arrived, Mrs Fitch." Damn, he's too polite for his own good sometimes. He knows how much of a bitch my mum is yet he does well not to tell her to go fuck herself.

"Right…are you staying for breakfast?" She asks in her fake sweet voice, Freddie grins mischievously.

"I'd love to."

Jenna didn't really want to invite Freddie to have breakfast with us, she dislikes him for allowing me to spend all of my time with him and get wasted every time I'm with him. She tries to be polite simply because she doesn't want to scare him off; I think she's hoping that if I spend more time with him then I'll fall for him and my "phase" will end. Yeah that's how childish my mum can be.

Freddie knows exactly what she's like and he knows what to do to piss her off, accepting her invitation to stay for breakfast was an easy way to piss her off without being obvious, I know this because Freddie doesn't ever eat breakfast.

I can't help but smirk when mum grumbles something and walks back into the kitchen, Freddie laughs quietly and I snuggle against his chest, I honestly don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him in my life.

"So how did it go with Naomi?" Freddie whispers to me so that my mum doesn't hear and try to start a fight over it. I frown because I'm not entirely too sure how to answer him.

"Naomi…she's a weird one."

"What d'ya mean?"

"Well, she was all over me at the party but a total bitch to us at college and _all_ over me again in the hospital."

"So she's not a fan of PDA?"

"I don't know, maybe she was just confused before."

"Maybe, just don't get your hopes up."

"I don't intend to." He gives me a squeeze and kisses my head again, its sweet how he gets protective over me.

The doorbell rings again but this time James gets to the door, it opens and closes and the two excited boys run into the room, Gordon's eyes are fixated on me.

"Corr, James is that the lezza?"

Fuck's sake.

**

**Let me know what you think of this chapter, more will happen in the next one :)**


	6. Your way with words is through silence

**JJ's episode was amazing! I'm getting annoyed over the Naomily situation now, they better get it sorted. Anyway enjoy this chapter :)**

**To HyperFitched;** Thank you for replying, that is an adorable story and I'm really rather happy for you :) Thank you for the review, I'm glad that you're liking Freddie in this, I wanted to do something different with him as I think his character has potential. So I'm glad that's working out :)

******

Today is definitely not my day. So far Gordon has not been able to take his eyes of me for longer than a minute and it's really creeping me out. He and James have been gossiping like old people about me being a lesbian and how I stick my fingers in other girl's fannies. I'm quite disgusted by them if I'm honest and mum looks like she's going to have a heart attack whenever she hears the words "lesbian" or "fanny," she'd probably drop dead if she heard half of the things that they say, what she's heard so far has been placid compared to what I've heard.

Freddie thinks it's hilarious, tosser, of course he would though, anything that puts my mum on edge is hilarious to him. I can see why though, it can be pretty damn funny to see how immature my mum really is.

She pretty much ignored me and Freddie through breakfast but would glare at me for whenever I kicked James under the table, it was his fault, he should learn to keep his mouth shut every once in a while.

Katie came down an hour after breakfast, mum glared at me again but this time it was because I told Katie she looked like a troll, she always does in the morning! Katie grunted only because she couldn't tell me to fuck off which satisfied me more.

A few hours have passed and I'm glad that James and Gordon have finally pissed off to go and play outside in the garden. I'm incredibly bored considering it's a Saturday, I'm used to being out with Freddie doing god knows what, it's all fun and games really and I never realised how much "rest" really sucks until now. It also sucks that it's a nice fucking day and I'm stuck inside, I'm gonna kick Naomi's ass for putting me in hospital, the bitch.

I'm sat in the living room with Freddie, Mum, Dad and Katie. Once again we're all sat in silence since we know any slight conversation will cause my mum to dig at me in some form or another. Freddie keeps checking his watch and I see that it's nearly three o'clock; this is so not my idea of a good weekend!

"I better get going." Freddie says to me and I pout, I really don't want him to leave as he's making this Saturday a little less painful. He smiles sympathetically and pulls me into a hug.

"I'll walk you to the door." I jump up and pull him along with me; I'm only doing this so I can retreat to my bedroom after.

I open up the front door and he steps out, I feel the warm air on my bare arms and I wish that I could be out and enjoying it.

"You'll be alright, yeah?" He whispers to me and I shrug. "Just ignore her and don't let her get to you."

"Easier said than done." I huff and fold my arms, he laughs at my childishness and steps forward to wrap his arms around my waist.

"Just call if you need me." I nod against his chest and he kisses my hair. I watch sadly as he starts down my road and I sigh and close the door when he's out of sight.

I'm just about to run up the stairs when mum comes out into the hallway, I resist the urge to roll my eyes, it's just so fucking typical of her to wait around and spy on me.

"Freddie's such a lovely boy, why can't you be with someone like him? You obviously mean a lot to him." Oh for god's sake, I was wondering how long it would take for her to throw something at me about my friendship with Freddie. I sigh and shake my head at her.

"Yeah mum, Freddie's great, he'd be perfect if he were a girl." I notice her body stiffen and I smirk.

"Oh Emily love, when are you going to stop this nonsense?" I clench my jaw.

"There's no nonsense for me to stop, mum. I'm gay, why can't you just accept it? "

"You're not gay, Emily. You're just being silly."

I growl in frustration and motion with my hands that I want to pull my hair out. James and Gordon appear behind my mum which annoys me even more.

"I'm GAY, I like girls. I like tits and fanny, not cock!" I practically scream this at her and she looks like she's about to faint, I don't care, and she's needs to get it into her fucking head already.

"I'm sure I could turn you straight babe." Gordon wiggles his eyebrows me and he instantly reminds me of a young Cook, Mum hadn't noticed that they were there and she spins round at the sound of his voice, she doesn't look happy but I laugh at the little prick.

"Fuck off worm or I'll send you running for the hills with nothing more than my foot up your ass."

"Emily!" Mum screams at me in shock. Gordon's eyes widen and he runs from the room with James on his tail, I laugh again and mum glares at me in rage just as Dad and Katie come into the room to obviously see what the commotion is about.

"What's going on?" Dad asks, it's a stupid question considering there's only one thing me and mum ever argue about.

"Nothing, I'm going to get a shower and then I'm going out." I decide in that moment that there is no way I'm going to stay here any longer and I carry on with my original plan and start walking up the stairs.

"Ems you can't go out you have to rest." Katie begs, she was obviously hoping that things were going to sort out and I feel sorry for her having to put up with our parents on her own but that's not my fault.

"I'll rest somewhere else, I'm not staying in this house any longer with that cow." I reach the top of the stairs and head straight for my bedroom, mum and dad are both shouting at me, Dad's telling me not to speak about my mother that way and mum's shouting that I'm ungrateful and stupid.

I don't reply to them though, I just pull out a clean outfit and make my way to the bathroom just as Katie appears at the top of the stairs, I glace at her quickly and then enter the bathroom but leave the door so that she can follow me, she does and shuts the door behind her.

"Please don't go Ems." She pleads me, I turn to look at my twin, she looks so sad and I hate seeing her like this but we both know that I'm not going to stay.

"I have to Katie; I can't stay here any longer." She looks defeated already.

"Please I'll…I'll stand up to mum with you." I smile softly at her because I am grateful for her attempts to get me to stay; it's nice that she's begging me for once instead of demanding and being a bitch.

"Katie, it wouldn't matter if you, dad and James stood up for me, it wouldn't matter if the whole world did because mum won't change her mind, and she will always think that she's right." I reach out and hug her, "I wish she would because I hardly like feeling unwelcome in my own home but this isn't my fault."

"I know." She sniffles against my shoulder, "I just miss you being here." Wow this really is affecting her.

"I miss it too; I just wish mum would accept me." We pull away and Katie smiles at me, it's nice to have my sister back.

"It's horrible…being here on my own. Mum and Dad argue almost all the time and they act like me and James aren't even here, it's getting to him too."

"Mum needs to realise that she's in the wrong."

"You've always been the strong one Ems; you've always held everything together."

I smile sadly because it's true. I may have always been Katie's shadow but at home I'm the only person she can show her emotions around, I guess it's a twin thing.

I've always been the one to hold Katie and comfort her when she's upset over a guy; I've always told her and James that everything would be okay whenever mum and dad would argue. I always gave James advice when he got bullied in school.

I may have been the shadow but I always had my head in the right place, it was neither in the clouds nor up my ass. I liked being the strong one but it's hard when all the problems are caused by something that I can't control.

"You need to be the strong one now Katie." I kiss her forehead and she nods, "Now piss off, I need a shower." We laugh and she punches me playfully, she's just about to leave and close the door when I call out to her.

"I love you Katie, don't forget that."

"I love you too bitch." She smirks and closes the door.

I quickly strip out of my clothes whilst smiling, I remember to stick toilet paper in the keyhole to make sure that James and Gordon can't spy on me and then I jump into a much needed hot shower.

I shower and dress quickly and I'm now making my way back down the stairs, I can hear mum and dad talking in the kitchen so I try to sneak out without them hearing me but I have no such luck.

"Where do you think you're going Emily?" Mum demands coming into the hallway when I'm just about to open the front door.

"Out." I reply bluntly without bothering to look at her, I open the front door a fraction but she leans forward and slams it shut. I sigh and turn to glare at her but man she looks pissed off.

"No you're not; you're staying here so we can keep an eye on you."

"Keep an eye on me? Mum I'm not five."

"Get up to your room, now!" She barks but I keep my cool and just raise my eyebrow at her.

"I'm not staying here with you."

"Now you listen to me young lady, I do not approve of your attitude and…"

"If you don't like my attitude mum then stop being such an insensitive bitch and accept me as I am."

"Oh well I'm sorry for wanting the best for my daughter."

"Yeah? Well I'm sorry for being such a disappointment." I scream and wrench the front door open and run out.

I'm glad that I hear it slam shut behind me because I know she's not going to stop me, good, I've had enough of her fucking shit.

I'm half way to Freddie's house when I finally pull out my phone and call him, it probably would be best if I let him know that I'm coming over. He answers almost immediately.

"God, has she pissed you off already?" I smile at his amused tone of voice.

"That's an understatement…I'm coming over."

"What? Ems you're supposed to be resting." Fuck's sake Freddie this isn't a time for your concern!

"I'll rest at yours; I couldn't stand being there for any longer." He sighs

"Okay, I'll see you in the shed."

We hang up and I practically run to his house, I need to have a fucking rant and then I need to calm down before I can even consider resting.

-

"So what has she done now?" Freddie asks me as soon as I burst into the shed and slump onto the sofa with a huff.

"Being a bitch as always, telling me that I'm not gay and that I should date you."

"Me?" He asks puzzled, I nod. "Why me?"

"Says that you're such a lovely boy and you'd be great for me, which is true but only if I wasn't fucking gay!" I growl in frustration again, my mum really knows how to piss me off. Freddie chuckles and puts his arms around me.

"Ah she's a bitch, don't let her get to you."

"I'm trying but this isn't just about me anymore. Both Katie and dad want me to come home but they know that I won't stay because of mum. Apparently when I'm gone all they do is argue and it's upsetting Katie and James."

"Man, that's really not fair."

"I know but there's nothing we can do about it." I drop my head into my hands and sigh again.

"I really am sick of all of this." I whisper.

"I know you are" Freddie kisses my head, "It'll get better, I promise. Let's just forget about it for now."

I nod because I really do need to forget about it, moping around isn't going to change anything. Freddie moves to the chair so that I have room to lie down and I sprawl out across the pillows, I instantly begin to feel tired again.

"How's your head?"

"Hmm…sore…painful." I mumble, I hate feeling so exhausted, Naomi will pay for this.

Before I go to sleep Freddie gets me some painkillers so that I'll hopefully feel better when I wake up. I doesn't take me long to fall asleep and before I know it I'm waking up again with a blanket wrapped around me. I sit up slowly and twist my neck as it's cramped from lying with my head propped up on the arm of the sofa.

It's quite dark inside of the shed but I can see that it's still light outside; Freddie isn't in here so I'm guessing he's had to go in for some reason.

I hate waking up, I always feel groggy and shit and normally bite anyone's head off if they bother to speak to me, Freddie's used to but he's learned to leave me alone when I'm moody.

I groan in satisfaction as I stretch out and lazily rake my fingers through my hair. I notice the table that I hit my head on has been pushed to the side; I smile at Freddie's concerned actions for my safety.

A spliff and lighter has been left on the table and I reach over and take them, I twirl the spliff between my fingers and a grin creeps up on my lips, I know that I probably shouldn't smoke since I haven't properly recovered but fuck it, can't do much harm right?

I light up and take long drags, I hold the smoke in my lungs for a few seconds before exhaling, calm washes over me almost instantly along with a head rush, I sink back into the sofa and forget about everything that had pissed me off earlier on.

I'm half way through smoking the spliff when Freddie returns and dazzles me by opening the shed door which allows the bright light to pour into the dark room, I grumble and throw several swear words at him but he just chuckles and flops down onto the chair.

"I was saving that spliff." He says and plucks the spliff from between my fingers, I glare at him.

"Save your next one."

"Will do, you up for going out tonight?"

"Fucking hell, yes! This weekend has been nothing but a fucking bore so far."

Yes, Yes I know I shouldn't be going out but who cares? No one ever really relaxes when they're told to. Besides I feel fine, my head twinges now and then but it's nothing that alcohol can't cure.

"Well its Thomas's night down at the club so we'll get in for free, just calm down on the drinks tonight okay?"

"Yeah sure, don't worry."

-

I've been here for an hour and I'm already completely fucking wasted. I know I said I wouldn't but once I start I can't stop, it's not like Freddie's with me anyway, actually I have no idea where he is.

I'm currently sat by the bar watching the crowd as they jump, sway and dance. The flashing lights make the sweat on their bodies gleam on their skin. I don't know whether it's just because of the alcohol that's in my system but it's fascinating to watch. A couple of girls catch me looking, I wink at them which causes them to blush, I don't know why I do it when I'm not interested in getting some tonight.

I know it's a shock for me to say that right?

Actually I take that back since there's a totally fit girl walking towards me, she's tall, blonde and slim, totally my type. Her eyes are on me whilst she gets closer and…oh wait, fuck its Naomi! Shit, did I just say she was my type? Well of course she is, the girl can be a bitch but she's fucking gorgeous. However, she's not looking all too happy as she walks up to me and that's when I notice Effy and Freddie following her. If I'm worried then, well I can't feel it so instead I just grin stupidly at her but I get no smile in return.

"What are you doing here?" She snaps when she stops in front of me, I raise my eyebrows and then quickly point at Freddie.

"His fault!" I giggle at how childish I sound. Freddie pushes past the two girls in front of him and snatches my drink out of my hand, I shout at him to give it back.

"For fucks sake Ems, you said you'd lay of the drinks tonight." He sounds annoyed; I know that he's concerned because he doesn't often get annoyed at me.

"She shouldn't even fucking be here, I'm not looking after her again if she goes back to hospital." Oh real fucking nice Campbell, yeah I knew you were still a bitch. I roll my eyes.

"You weren't complaining when you were there." I mumble but I know she hears as she glares at me.

"Eff go get the lightweight some water." Effy doesn't say anything as usual, she just walks round to the other side of the bar to talk to the barman and then she's quickly returning with a glass of water and hands it to me. I down it quickly and push myself off the chair.

"Let's clean you up." Naomi says bluntly and wraps her arm around my waist, I nod to Freddie and Effy and let Naomi pull me through the crowd towards the toilets.

"Get the fuck off me." I snarl and shove her but she seems unaffected by it and keeps her arm around my waist.

I push the toilet door open with more force than necessary, Naomi lets go of my waist and I walk up to sinks to splash my face with cold water. I hear Naomi behind me, I'm about to tell her to fuck off because I've had enough of her shit but then I feel her hands on my hips and slide across to my stomach, her body is pressed up against my back and she's kissing along my shoulder and up my neck. My breath hitches and I shudder against her touch, suddenly I'm being pulled around with force so that I'm facing her and her lips crash against mine.

She kisses me hard and I can't stop myself from kissing her back, I'm crammed between her body and the counter so there's no chance of me moving. Her hands slide down to the back of my thighs and she lifts me up so that I'm sat by the sinks, I wrap my legs around her waist and pull her closer to me. Her kisses are hard but not painful and her tongue dances hastily with mine, she breaks away for air and attacks my neck instead, I gasp as she kisses bites and sucks my neck and I tangle my fingers through her hair.

"God, I've wanted to do this for so long." She whispers in my ear.

What the fuck is going on with this girl?

**

**R&R please, let me know what you think guys :)**


	7. Pay the price for your betrayal

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews guys :D I hope this is alright!**

******

Naomi's sucking hard on my neck and her hands are clawing desperately at my clothes as she's trying to get through them. It doesn't take her long to unbutton my shirt and then her hands are sliding up and down my sides, she drags her nails across my stomach which causes me to gasp. Her mouth has left my neck and has moved down to my exposed collar bone and down my chest. Everything she does makes me gasp and moan because even though her movements are rushed and lumbering, her touch is still soft and delicate. It feels so good to experience her hands on my body and feel her hungry mouth kissing and tasting my skin, she almost can't get enough and it makes me feel irresistible.

I giggle as Naomi kisses up my neck and back to my lips, the urgency has gone and she's kissing me delicately, her tongue swirls with mine in a soft slow dance, her hands are no longer fumbling but instead they're stroking and causing my skin to quaver under her touch.

Surprisingly her delicacy and nervousness has turned me on more than her hornyness, I moan into her mouth, I need her so bad.

Naomi easily flicks open the button on my jeans and I push myself up slightly so that she can shuffle them down my legs. Stupidly enough I can't help but think about how the counter is incredibly cold beneath my legs, but the thought is soon forgotten when Naomi's nails tickle my thighs. I moan again when she slips her fingers up to the material of my underwear and drag her nails down the inside of my thighs. She's touching me everywhere except where I need her most; I can't stand her teasing even if it is making me so hot.

"Fuck…Naomi, stop fucking teasing me." I whisper, my voice now low and hoarse.

Naomi smirks at me but she does as she's told. She presses her lips to mine again and her hand slips down the top of my underwear, I groan when her finger presses against my throbbing centre and rubs rhythmically. One of my hands is tangled through her soft blonde hair and the other is gripping the edge of the counter for support as she speeds up her movements. She slips a finger inside of me and moves in and out at a steady pace, my back arches and I tilt my head back as I gasp for air so Naomi treats her mouth to my neck again.

Our breathing becomes fast and ragged as she works me up to my high by speeding up her pace, she slips another finger inside of me and I cling to her as more moans of pleasure rip through me.

"Oh fuck…Naomi…shit." I manage to say between my desperate intakes of breath. Naomi's fingers are working me to a feeling that I've never felt before, well I have but they didn't feel anywhere near this good. I don't know if it's the alcohol that is adding to the effect or if Naomi really is just skilful with her fingers.

Naomi brings her mouth back to mine and her hot breath brings me to the edge of my high, she slips a third finger in and thrusts hard into me and the curl of her fingers throws me over the edge. I scream out her name along with multiple swear words, shudders ripple through my body, muscles tense and my ragged breathing turns to soft pants as the final effects of my orgasm slowly comes to an end.

Naomi holds me tightly as my head falls into the crook of her neck and I feel her shiver against my breath, I smirk to myself and place small kisses on her soft skin. She gently pulls her fingers out of me but continues to hold me, I'm glad because I don't think I could move even if I wanted to. However she does button up my shirt and helps me slip back into my jeans so at least still have my dignity if someone walks in.

"Wow…" I finally whisper, I bring my head up to look at Naomi and she's smiling shyly at me.

"Was that okay?" I'm surprised by her sudden lack of confidence but I can't help but think it's adorable. Her crystal blue eyes are staring timidly into mine like she needs the reassurance, so I give it to her by capturing her lips with mine.

"Best orgasm I've had." I mutter against her lips and I feel rather than see her smile.

"What made it the best?" She asks huskily, I bite my lip to stop myself from smirking as I decide to play with her.

"I don't know, probably the alcohol." I say seriously and her body tenses slightly against mine, I open my eyes and she's looking away. I snort a laugh and her eyes snap back up to mine.

"Oh you bitch! I thought you were serious." She smacks me which only makes me laugh harder. She wraps her arms around my waist and I snuggle back into her neck.

"Maybe it's because I'm with a beautiful girl with rather skilful fingers." I murmur softly as I suddenly start feeling sleepy. Damn alcohol and sex!

"You think I'm beautiful?" Naomi asks in wonder and I giggle.

"Could just be the alcohol." She slaps me again. "Ow! Okay I think you're beautiful even if you are a moody cow most of the time." Slap. "Ow for fucks sake. Fine, only some of the time." Slap. "Ah Naomi stop it, that hurts!"

We giggle and she rubs her hands up and down the area on my back that she just slapped. We fall into a comfortable silence as we cuddle, it feels so weird but it feels so right. I've slept with a few girls before Naomi but it's never been like this afterwards, we never cuddled or exchanged cute acts of affection. But with Naomi it feels almost natural.

But then I remembered the way Naomi acted towards me before any of this happened, she acted cold and bitchy when she was around other people, but when we were alone she was a complete different person.

Was this something that would remain the same?

"I don't get it Naomi." I blurt out and instantly regret it. Sure it's something that I want to talk about but now probably isn't the best time. Naomi pulls back and frowns at me.

"What?" She generally sounds like she doesn't have a clue what I'm on about but I know that she won't let it go now.

"Umm…well, why do you treat me differently around other people?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

"I like you Ems but I don't want everyone to know about it." She sounds annoyed, I feel annoyed.

"Why, who cares what other people think?" I snap and she pulls away, I already miss the warmth of her body against mine and I probably would have pulled her back except for the fact that I'm supposed to be annoyed at her.

"I don't want to get into this now, okay?" She begins to walk away, I jump down from the counter to stop her but I've completely forgot about the alcohol I consumed before. My legs cave in when they connect with the floor and I stumble to the side, my shoulder hits the wall and I fall down onto the floor. Naomi's kneeling down in front of me before my mind even registers what has happened, she tries to help me to my feet but I slam my hands into her shoulders to push her away, she moves away looking quite taken aback.

"Fuck off Naomi," I cry out, I feel tears well up in my eyes and I know it's the stupid fucking alcohol making me emotional. "You can't just fuck me in here but continue to treat me like shit where ever we go." The tears trickle down my cheeks and I brush them away furiously, I hate myself for suddenly feeling so weak and pathetic.

"I won't Emily, I won't." She pleads and tries to take my hands but I shove her away again. "Just give me time." She whispers timidly and I almost give in, almost.

"Time, for what, to decide whether you want me or not?" Naomi reaches out again and takes my hands, I try to pull away but she grips them hard and refuses to let go.

"Of course I fucking want you Emily; I wouldn't be here if I didn't. But I just…I don't know if I can do this right now." Her voice is thick with emotion and I look directly up into her eyes.

Seeing the tears in her eyes makes my anger dissolve in a second, seeing Naomi cry still comes as a shock to me and I have to say that I hate it. I mean I like that she's not an emotionless cow like I always thought she was but it hurts to see her cry. Pathetic, I know.

"I'm trying Em, I'm really trying but I just need time." I nod; I can at least give her time since she's asking for it so desperately.

"Okay…just try not to be such a bitch to me in person, okay?" Naomi nods and smiles sadly at me. I cup her face between my hands and kiss her softly. It's all forgotten about…for now.

After a moment of sorting ourselves out, we walk out from the toilets hand in hand. People are still drinking and dancing amongst themselves so nobody seems to notice us which I'm glad about, I'm not in the mood for the curious stares and cheesy comments.

Naomi pulls me through the crowd towards the bar but I freeze as my eyes take in a certain sight in front of me. She turns to see why I have stopped, and then her eyes follow mine.

Freddie and Effy grinding against each other locked in a passionate kiss.

I watch them as I'm frozen to the spot, I can taste the bile in my mouth. I feel Naomi squeeze my hand hard and try to pull me away but my legs refuse to participate.

I don't know what hurts more. Seeing them together or the promise we made to each other to never get involved with her again or the fact that I know Freddie loves her, but I know exactly what she's going to do to him. She'll reel him in, chew him up and toss him aside. She'll do exactly what she done to the both of us in the past.

I grit my teeth and force myself through the crowd, this time pulling Naomi with me. I ignore her attempts to try and pull me back; I release her hand as soon as I'm close enough.

I curl my hand gently over Effy's shoulder and then rip her away, she stares at me dumbfounded and then her eyes glaze over with the realisation of who I am but before she has the chance to react, I backhand her hard across the face. I ignore the stinging in my hand as I watch her stumble backwards clutching her cheek; I glare at Freddie who looks equally as shocked as Effy had. I'm angry at him but I can't do anything, it's not his fault that he's naïve and fucking stupid, so I just shake my head at him sadly.

I push my way through to the exit of the club; I was definitely going to suffer for my actions in the morning.

**

**Sorry for the delay guys but I hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think :D**


	8. Mistaken Judgement

**Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter, I actually love you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope I've answered some of your questions! Enjoy!**

******

I march out from the club and step out into the cold night, the alcohol in my system isn't enough to keep me warm but luckily my anger is instead. I growl through my gritted teeth and pull out my last cigarette and angrily toss the packet aside, I light it but the nicotine doesn't do much to calm me. I pace up and down the road contemplating where to go for the night, there is no way I can go back to the shed after what just happened but I can't go home either.

_Shit_ I whisper out into the night, I push my fingers through my knotted red hair and breathe out a sigh. I don't know what to do and the alcohol is now starting to make me feel sick, well at least I think it's the alcohol or it could be the feeling of betrayal that's burning in the pit of my stomach.

How could Freddie be so bloody stupid, why would he be? He knows exactly what Effy will do to him as she's done it before, she done it to the both of us!

It started in the first couple of months of college, Effy was the sexy and mysterious girl that everybody wanted to know, everybody wanted to be friends with her and all the guys wanted to shag her. But Effy didn't want to know them sort of people, she liked the ones who weren't interested in her or were too shy to pursue her like everyone else.

Freddie and I were the shy ones and that's exactly why we got dragged into her web.

At that point in time I was shy and shadowed by Katie, I was already questioning my sexuality but obviously I was too scared to say anything about it since I knew there was no way Katie would accept it, so instead I kept my mouth shut.

When I met Effy, I knew in that moment that my suspicions were correct, I knew instantly from the tightness in my chest and my inability to stop staring at the brunette beauty that I was gay. Effy knew too since that's how she started the first conversation between us. She convinced me to go out to clubs; she got me into drinking and smoking weed and taking other drugs, she was also the first girl I kissed.

It stayed like that for a while, we never hung out in college but she was gradually giving me the confidence to break out of Katie's shadow.

On certain nights we'd meet in the clubs, we'd drink, take drugs and dance and we'd always end up kissing.

Effy had no idea that I was falling in love with her, or maybe she did and that was exactly why she was toying with me. She dragged me to her house one night after the club and yup, we had sex. I was completely crazy about her and I thought that she liked me back.

Oh how wrong I was.

What I didn't know was that on the nights when I didn't see Effy, she was doing exactly the same to Freddie.

Freddie liked Effy also from the moment he saw her but back then he and Cook were still best friends. Cook wanted Effy, of course he did but he made Freddie believe that he stood a better chance, so therefore Freddie didn't try to go after her. Effy went after him instead, they went to clubs, drank, smoked, danced, and fucked, they done everything that we had done together.

She didn't break it to us easily either, it was Thomas's night at the club and since we are all friends with him we were all invited, Me, Katie, Freddie, JJ, Cook, Panda, Effy and Naomi.

Effy kissed me in front of them all and that's how they found out I was gay, I thought Katie was going to drop a bomb, she tried to pull me away instantly until Effy walked up to Freddie and kissed him, and then she went to Cook and snogged him in front of all us and left with him, leaving me and Freddie crushed and heart broken.

We both felt so fucking stupid and humiliated, nobody understood how we felt except each other and that's how we became best friends. We helped each other to deal with it all, Freddie helped me to accept that I was gay and he helped me to tell everyone, I wasn't scared about telling Katie and my family because I had him by my side.

I helped him push Cook out of his life; I helped him deal with the heartache. We were there for each other whenever anything got hard, he was there for me when my mum refused to accept that I was gay, he helped me stand my ground and not put up with her shit.

Everything became so much easier because we had each other, we understood each other, we were best friends and nobody could come between the bond we had. We promised each other that we wouldn't ever get involved with Effy again because she fucked us up and she'd continue to fuck us up if we allowed her.

That all happened half way through our first year at college and now we're about a month into our second year.

How could he be so fucking stupid? Does he seriously think that she's any different to how she was back then?

I slump against the brick wall and let out a long, deep breath before smoking the rest of my cigarette. I chew on my lip as I try to think of what to do, a part of me wants to go back in there and kick Effy's ass for everything that she's done to us, to slap Freddie and tell him he's a complete fucking idiot but the other part of me is telling me to walk away. I know which part of me I should side with but there's still a slight problem of not having anywhere to go.

I sigh and push myself away from the wall, there's no point in hanging around since it will just end up with me seeing Freddie and Effy again.

I start to walk away just as Naomi rushes out from the club, she sees me before I even have time to change direction.

"What the fuck Emily?" She shouts as she runs up to me.

Great, of course she's going to come out here and act all pissed off and stand up for that bitch, I should have known. I roll my eyes and continue walking but she grabs my arm to stop me.

"Don't start Naomi." I mutter but she doesn't let go even though I'm trying to pull through her grip.

"Where are you going?" She asks in her usual cold tone of voice.

"I don't know and I don't really care." I snap and she sighs, she lets go of my arm and I'm about to walk away but she then links her fingers through mine. I stare at her in shock.

"I just fucked you in the toilets so don't look so surprised at me for holding your hand." She laughs and I blush, I can't believe she's actually making me blush! I look to the floor quickly in hoping that she didn't notice but she takes hold of my chin and brings my face back up to hers, she studies my face and smiles.

"You're beautiful when you blush." She whispers, she's so close that I can feel her breathe on my lips and I ache to kiss her. I lean up but she quickly turns away and starts pulling me down the road, bitch.

"Where are we going?" I ask because I don't recognise the area since she's just dragging me along.

"My place."

After turning down a few roads I know we're close to Naomi's as we start to run, I know why we're running so as soon as we reach her front door, I slam her into it and start kissing her, she holds onto my hips and pulls me into her.

I press open-mouthed kisses up her neck and then trace the tip of my tongue along her jaw line, I nip and moan into her ear which causes Naomi to gasp and push me away slightly.

"Bedroom." She demands and I'm able to keep my hands of her long enough for us to enter her house and run up the stairs silently to her bedroom. She starts kissing me as soon as her door is shut and locked.

"What about…your mum?" I ask through the kisses but in response Naomi only kisses me harder so I figure that she's probably not in.

This time I decide to take control and I push Naomi further into her room, it's too dark to see around the room but Naomi directs us to her bed, our knees hit the side and we fall down onto it. We move into the middle of the bed and I'm glad to find that it's a double, I quickly remove her of her clothing and…fucking hell, she has such a good body. Long, thin legs, beautiful curves and don't even get me started about how good her breasts look encased in that dark blue bra. My mouth goes dry at the sight and I think I would have continued to stare at her if she didn't pull me back down for a kiss.

Naomi works quickly to remove my clothes and I'm now kneeling over her in my underwear, she leans up and kisses across my bare stomach and hips but I put my hands on her shoulders and push her back down to the bed.

"No…it's your turn now." I whisper huskily and I feel her swallow and slowly nod her head.

I grin and kiss her lips, I kiss down her neck and down her chest, my hand travels across the material of her bra until I find the clip that's keeping me from my treasure, I snap it open and throw it to the side. Naomi gasps when I knead one breast with my hand and my lips find the other, she tangles her fingers through my hair as I brush my lips over her nipple and I feel it harden, I tease it with my tongue and then I cover it with my mouth. Naomi moans and tugs on my hair as I bite and suck her nipple, I then move to do the same to her other breast.

I quickly lean up and kiss Naomi one more time before I kiss down her stomach, my breath makes goose bumps erupt all over her body and I feel how she trembles with each kiss that I press to her skin.

When I reach her blue lace knickers, I glance up to ask Naomi for permission and she nods almost impatiently.

I thread my fingers through the material and pull them down her legs, I carelessly toss them aside just like the rest of her clothing. I spread her legs further apart to give me better access and I press tantalizing kisses up the inside of her right thigh. Naomi's breathing becomes faster and irregular with the closer I get to where she needs me, she's gripping my hair so hard that if I wasn't just about to go down on her I probably would have complained that it hurts. Her smell is invigorating and I slip my tongue up her wet folds which causes Naomi to take a sharp intake of breath.

Fucking hell, she tastes so good. I've gone down on some of the girls that I've slept with but most of them have caused me to cringe at the taste but not Naomi, instead I'm sliding my tongue over her eager centre and slipping deeper into her with the excitement of exploring her.

"Oh fuck…" Naomi moans as I suck and nibble gently on her nub of nerves, her body writhes and her back arches with every stroke of my tongue. "Oh…shit…Emily."

She's practically screaming my name and she's gasping desperately for air, I continue to suck, lick and kiss Naomi's nub until she's so close that she's clutching at her bed sheets and begging me. I move back up to kiss her and she wraps her arms around me and digs her nails into my back as I slip two fingers inside of her.

"Oh my god…Emily…" I capture her moan with a kiss as I move my fingers in and out of her with such speed and strength, her hips thrust up into mine in rhythm with my movements and she screams into my shoulders when I curl my fingers. Naomi throws her head back onto the pillow; her back arches and she digs her nails so deep into my back that I feel them cut through my skin. I gasp at the stinging pain and at the sight of Naomi writhing and panting, I watch as her orgasm slowly ends, I watch as she eventually comes down from her high and her breathing slowly calms.

I crash down next to Naomi on the bed and pull her into my side; I brush a damp strand of hair away from her sweaty face and tuck it behind her ear. She snuggles closer to me and I smile down at her.

"That…was amazing." Naomi sighs exhaustedly; her fingers play with the material on my bra.

"Take your underwear off." She whispers and I look at her surprised.

"I want to be as close to you as possible." I giggle at how adorable she is but I do as she asks, I slip out of my underwear and we cuddle up underneath the duvet, feeling her naked body pressed against mine is fucking amazing, her skin is soft and warm against mine and it causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

Naomi traces her finger tip across my lips and I kiss it softly, she then strokes it down my jaw, my neck, my collar bone and every curve of my body. Her touch leaves a fiery trail down my body and I shiver against the feel of it.

It's crazy how this girl is making me feel, my stomach is fluttering and my heart skips when I look at the beautiful girl that is cuddled against me.

Who knew that I could be in bed with Naomi Campbell? Who would believe that Naomi Campbell actually has feelings for me, I know I wouldn't have if someone told me it before this all happened. I don't care though because I actually love the thought of it, I love it when I see this side of Naomi because she's innocent and adorable and everyone, including myself, has completely misjudged her.

I'm so lucky to be the person who gets to see this side of her.

"What are you thinking of?" Naomi whispers against my neck, her warm breath send a shiver of pleasure down my spine.

"You." I reply instinctively, Naomi giggles and I realise how soppy I sound.

"I never thought it'd feel this good." She draws patterns over my lower back with the tip of her finger and I have to agree, this does feel so good. But wait…does that mean that she's thought about this happening?

"Why aren't you kicking my ass for hitting Effy?" Naomi doesn't reply, instead she continues to draw patterns over my body so I push myself up on my elbow so that I can watch her. She's biting her lip so I know that she's thinking of what to say so I wait.

"She deserved it…" Okay, I wasn't expecting that. I don't reply though, from the look on her face I know she has more to say.

"…why do you hate her so much?" I frown at her.

"You know why. You know what she done to me and Freddie, you were there!"

"Do you…still like her?" Her eyes finally meet mine and once again I'm surprised at how unsure and anxious she looks. I really have misjudged her.

"What…No! Of course I bloody don't Naoms. She just…she really hurt us and I don't want Freddie to go through that again." She nods and brings her hand up to cup my cheek; I feel my blood instantly rush to the area, fuck why is she having this effect on me?

"I hated watching it, Effy had no idea." Huh? Naomi obviously notices my confusion as she quickly carries on.

"I hated watching what she was doing to you, she had no idea how I felt but…I hated how you wouldn't notice anyone whilst she was in the room and how your eyes always lit up whenever you saw her. I hated seeing the way you looked at her especially when I didn't know what her intentions were. I didn't know that she was seeing Freddie or Cook behind your back but when I did, I flipped out and…that's how she found out about how I felt…that's why she ended it the way she did."

Okay…I really wasn't expecting that. Not only do I now know that Naomi has liked me for a lot longer than I realised but I also now know that the reason why Effy ended things the way she did was so that she wouldn't hurt her best friend anymore, she had good intentions in a weird, fucked up way. But…

"Why did she hurt Freddie? Why couldn't she just stop it like a normal person?" Naomi frowns and shuffles beneath me.

"Because she loves him, and she isn't a "normal person."" I snort a laugh as it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

"Right, she loves him so she breaks his heart?"

"The thought of love scares her. She never felt anything for anyone until she met Freddie, it scares her…I know how that feels." My eyes widen at her words and Naomi looks away.

Shit…she loves me? Wow…wait why am I smiling? I don't know, I know I like her…I like her a lot but…do I love her? Shit, I don't know…she makes me happy, like really happy and she makes me feel and react in ways that I've never experienced before, I adore her but could I really love her?

No…I know I could love her, but I'm now the one who's scared because I've seen how easily Naomi can change from loving to bitch in less than a second. I don't want that.

If she can change, if she can let me in and show everyone that she loves me without being a cold bitch then I know I can love her. I think I might but she needs to show me that she's serious…shit Emily say something before she gets the wrong idea.

I don't know what to say, there's still so much we need to talk about. But for now, I pull her face back to mine and I gaze into her eyes. Fucking hell, she is so beautiful. I'm grinning at her like an idiot and she flashes me a heart weakening smile. Fuck, I definitely can love her.

I lower my face to hers and kiss her lips softly; Naomi curls her arms around my neck and pulls me into a deeper kiss. Eventually we cuddle into each other and fall asleep with our arms and legs tangled together and our bodies fit together perfectly.

That's how it is with Naomi…perfect.

**

**Let me know what you think guys, got the rest of the story planned so I'll be writing it up asap :) R&R please! **


	9. You treat me just like another stranger

**I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been reviewing my story. You all say such lovely things and it really means a lot to me, I seriously love you guys!**

**Here's the next chapter, don't hate me for what happens because it's all part of the plan. I couldn't have a story without some kind of drama happening :) anyway enjoy!**

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I wake up to the sound of a constant vibration echoing throughout the room, my eyes flicker open when the sound suddenly stops and I'm blinded by the bright light that's pouring through the already opened curtains. I groan at the headache that's pummelling painfully through my skull.

I prop myself up onto my elbows and frown at the unfamiliar room I've woken up in.

Fuck, what happened last night?

I look at the walls that are covered with random pictures, drawings and photographs…it isn't until my eyes travel across a picture of Effy and Naomi that the memories of last night come flooding back.

"Fucking hell." I accidentally say out loud, but it doesn't matter since Naomi's not even in the room with me. The space next to me is cold so I'm guessing she's been gone for a while now.

Why would she leave me alone in her bed after everything she told me last night?

I jump at the sudden loud buzz of something vibrating again, it takes me a second for me to realise that it's my phone that's still in my jeans, I look around to find them lying on the floor across the other side of the room after they were discarded during last nights passion. I jump out of bed, fumble around with my jeans until I find my phone and then quickly huddle underneath the duvet.

As I expected there are several missed calls and texts from Freddie, I flick through them and they all say something along the lines of "I'm sorry" and "can we talk?" But the recent texts show that he's getting worried about me not replying. I may be angry at him but I can't leave him to worry so I punch out a quick text.

I'm fine, stayed at Naomi's. I'll come round later x

I drop my phone onto the bed and scurry around the room to retrieve my clothes; I pull them on and rake my fingers through my hair to pull out some of the knots and leave it hanging loosely on my shoulders.

I step out into the hallway but stop when I hear more than one voice coming from downstairs.

Shit, I recognise Naomi's voice but I don't recognise the other, is it her mum, and was she actually here last night?

Fuck it, I can't stay up here all day.

After silently making my way down the stairs, I slip into the kitchen and see Naomi and an older duplicate of her sitting at the table; they both look up at me with the same blue eyes. Shit that is definitely her mum!

"Hello love, you must be Emily. Would you like a drink?" Naomi's mum gets up from her seat with a bright smile on her face and moves across the room to turn the kettle on.

"Um…a coffee would be great thanks, Ms Campbell."

"Oh please, call me Gina."

I smile at her but stay standing by the doorway as Gina gets a mug out from the cupboard and scoops a teaspoon of coffee and sugar into it. I look over at Naomi; she nods me towards an empty chair but doesn't smile at me or show any sign that she's happy to see me. I sigh silently as I cross the room to sit down, I keep my eyes on her but she looks away and returns her gaze back to her own mug of coffee.

Great, what's her fucking problem now?

Gina places the cup in front of me and I smile up at her gratefully. She and Naomi might look alike but they sure as hell don't share the same personality. Gina's bright and sweet but I then notice how exhausted and frail she looks.

_My mum might have cancer._

I'm hit with the sudden flashback and it catches me by surprise, I blink a couple of times and shake my head. Weird…but shit, I completely forgot about Naomi telling me that.

I want to reach out and comfort her and tell her that I'll be there for her but it's probably not a good idea to do it right now.

"So Emily, are you and Naomi close?" I get a weird feeling that Gina knows more than she makes out but either way I'll go along with it. I open my mouth to reply but Naomi clears her throat noisily and I instinctively stop.

"Emily's just a friend from college, mum. She got trashed last night and needed a place to stay."

Okay…ouch. Naomi's words hurt like a punch to the stomach.

_Just a friend, _She couldn't have emphasised than any better. I try to swallow the horrible sick feeling that is rising up into my throat. I really thought this was going to be different.

"Um…yeah we have a couple of classes together. I hope you don't mind that I stayed." Gina smiles and waves her hand.

"Of course not love, Naomi needs some more friends other than Elizabeth." I laugh at hearing her use Effy's full name; I often forget that it's not her real name.

"Effy's fine, mum." Naomi snaps and I have to restrain the urge to roll my eyes. She finally looks at me and I shoot her a glare that says "what the fuck?" I hope she fucking knows how shit she's just made me feel.

"I'm not saying she isn't sweetie. But you're welcome here any time Emily, I can already tell that you're a lovely girl." I blush at her words and feel a slight pang of sadness, I can only wish for my mum to be this nice.

"Thank Gina." I smile at her, I love this woman already. Naomi doesn't realise how lucky she is, I know she must be scared but at least she has a mum that loves her, I can tell Gina isn't the type of woman to judge anyone, let alone her daughter.

"Right well, I have to go. It was lovely meeting you Emily." Gina leans forward and kisses Naomi's forehead but she doesn't even react to the gesture.

"You too, Gina, thanks again." She smiles and leaves the kitchen and I hear the front door close a few seconds later.

Naomi hasn't moved, she continues to stare at her cup of coffee. I sip at mine; I want to scream at her for not having the balls to speak to me.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Naomi jumps at the sound of my raised voice but she still doesn't look at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She mumbles and I gape at her. .Fuck?!

"I'm "just a friend"? You were saying fucking different last night." Naomi doesn't even seem affected by my shouting, just continues to stare at the fucking damn cup! My throat tightens, I feel so fucking sick. How can she do this to me?

"I also told you that I can't do this." She mutters again with no hint of emotion in her voice. How isn't this fucking hurting her?!

"Well that wasn't the case last night. So what, are you just going to run from your feelings like you always do?" Naomi doesn't reply and I scoff in disbelief.

"I can't believe this. Is this about your mum, do you really think she'd want you to be like this?"

"Could you just mind your own fucking business for once please?" Naomi finally snaps and I feel the tears well up in my eyes when she glares at me.

"Yeah, sorry." I whisper and uselessly try to blink away the tears.

"I should go." I push the chair back and turn to head out of the kitchen.

"Don't do that." Naomi reaches out to stop me but I flinch away from her touch.

"No, you don't do that. I'm not your fucking experiment." She retracts her outstretched arm and looks away from me.

"I don't know how you can do this to me after what Effy did, you're not the only person who gets scared Naomi!" She doesn't look at me or reply, I heave a sigh as I'm struggling to keep the tears from falling.

"You don't want anyone to care." I choke out and run from the room. I dart up the stairs to Naomi's room to grab my phone and then I rush back down to the front door just as Naomi comes out of the kitchen.

"Emily please…" She pleads but I throw open the front door and shout "Fuck off Naomi." as I step out, I burst out crying as soon as the door slams shut behind me.

I've felt this pain before, the sickening painful tug on my insides when my heart is crushed. I hate it, I fucking hate it.

"Never again, never fucking again." I whisper through my sobs as I walk away from the second girl that's fucking crushed me.

I promised myself after Effy that I'd never put myself through this again, but I honestly thought that Naomi was different but instead she's hurt me even more than Effy had.

This is the reason why I don't believe in love, love isn't supposed to hurt so fucking bad. If someone loves you they shouldn't have the power to hurt you. If someone loves you they shouldn't want to hurt you!

The tears don't stop pouring down my cheeks; Naomi made me feel so different in such a good way. She opened up to me; she showed me a different side to her. She fucking…she fucking told me that she loves me but she could do this to me without even acting like it fucking bothered her!

Never again, that's for definite.

It doesn't take me long to get to Freddie's and I manage to calm the tears but Freddie will still know that something's up.

My phone has rung twice already, I know who it is and she can fuck off.

I head straight for the shed and open the door to find the Freddie is already there and surprisingly he hasn't been smoking a spliff, instead he's just sitting in the chair staring of into space as they say. He jumps up as soon as I enter and as I said, he automatically knows that something is up so he comes towards me and pulls me into a tight hug. His comforting embrace is enough to set off the tears again.

"She loves me, she fucking loves me but she won't stop running from me." Freddie pulls me towards the sofa and I sob into his chest whilst he holds me against him.

"We fucked and she opened up to me, told me all this shit but then told her mum that I'm "just a friend." She told me that she can't do it and she couldn't even look me in the fucking eye." I'm full on heaving and shaking from crying, I feel and must look so pathetic. I stopped all of this shit after Effy, I stopped being the girl who gets fucked around but within a few days Naomi managed to change all of that, I despise her for it.

I cry for quite a while but Freddie continues to hold me, he strokes and kisses my hair repeatedly and I eventually calm down.

"Relationships suck, they really fucking suck." I mumble as I pull away and wipe my eyes irritably, no more crying.

"They don't always." I laugh at the obvious guess of who he's thinking of.

"She hasn't change, Freddie. People like her don't change."

"I think she has Em, she's different now." I growl and jump up from the sofa, how can he be so stupid?

"That's what she wants you to believe. Don't you remember what she fucking did to us?"

"Of course I remember but people can change Emily and I'm willing to give her a second chance."

He can't be fucking serious, can he? After everything we've been through he's just willing to forget it all and allow Effy to just waltz back in his life like it never happened. That's as crazy as locking a murderer in a room with his victim and handing him the knife!

"You're fucking stupid, I hope you know that."

"No Emily, I'm not! Everyone makes mistakes so it doesn't mean you have to stop trusting them just because one person hurt you. Stop thinking everyone's out to get you, Emily, because you're only causing problems for yourself." He's shouting at me, standing across the other side of the shed with his fists clenched. It hurts, his words hurt. This isn't how it's supposed to be, girls aren't supposed to come between us.

"She'll hurt you." I whisper as a new round of tears fall.

"People can change Emily; you're just too stubborn to believe it."

If his words were physical attacks, I think I would be on the floor and my body would be covered in bruises. Instead his words cause bruises on the inside where nobody can see. He's not meant to be causing them though, he's meant to be healing them and protecting me from getting more.

Like I said, love hurts.

I nod my head and turn towards the door, he calls after me but there's no point in me staying. I'm just about to leave but I stop, he deserves to know the truth but I don't turn around, I don't want to see his reaction.

"Effy loves you and it scares her, that's why she hurt you. The whole idea of love scares her and you're the only person who's managed to make her feel it. So why don't you go and declare your undying love for her and have the fairytale relationship that you want so badly. I'll still be waiting for you if you fall, with my arms wide open and a sweet "I told you so.""

I close the door on my best friend.

I'm on a roll today; everyone seems to enjoy telling me the truth today so there's one more person I want to clear the air with. I stand at the end of the drive way in front of my house, only my mum's car is parked there so here's to hoping that we can have a lovely heart to heart conversation.

I feel to numb to even care anymore.

I push open the front door and step into the place that I wish I could call home, it's quiet inside so I know that my mum must be home alone for some reason.

"Mum?" I call out and my voice echoes through the walls but I hear a shuffling in the other room.

"Emily?" My mum appears in the door way and I feel the same impulse as I had as a child to run forward and seek her comfort, but I'm not that child anymore. I could probably hug her and she'd just cringe away from me like I'm some kind of disease, the thought brings more tears to my eyes and more aching to my heart.

"Emily sweetie, what's wrong?" She asks in her pristine voice but it's all so false. How can she pretend to care when she can't even look at me properly, she can't even look at me like I'm her daughter without diverting her gaze, it's almost as if I have "Lesbian" printed across my forehead in bold capitals.

Fucks sake Emily, stop crying, show her you don't care.

"Thought we could talk." I say in a stone cold tone, mum seems oblivious to it and just smiles at me.

"Of course love, what about?" Don't get excited mum, I'm not here to rub the words off of my forehead.

"I want you to accept that I'm gay, mum." Silence, I'm waiting for the heart attack. I'm surprised she hasn't tried to ban the word from being said in this house.

"Emily, why do you have to do this?" She whispers and I notice how frail she sounds, it's like the whole situation is causing her physical pain.

"I'm not doing anything mum; I just want you to accept that I like girls." She flinches at my sentence, for fucks sake mum grow a pair!

"You're too young to know what you want."

"Mum, cut the bullshit." Her eyes widen at hearing her innocent daughter swear.

"I'm gay, I can't change that but I'm still Emily, I'm still your daughter. Why can't you just accept it?" My voice cracks with all the emotions that I'm feeling and it sounds like I'm pleading her. No…I am pleading her. I'm tired, so sick and tired of it; I just want her to accept me.

"I don't want it for you." Her voice is barely audible but I can still hear her and it still hurts.

"Why, is it just because you don't want your daughter being something that you think is wrong?" She doesn't reply, instead she looks at the floor but it's a good enough answer for me. I feel my heart rise into my throat and I try to swallow but it doesn't go.

"Just accept me." I beg her as I sob. What kind of fucking daughter should have to fucking beg her mother for acceptance?

She shakes her head and I feel the unbearable pain shoot through me.

"I can't." A whisper, a simple whisper that breaks me in more ways than I thought possible.

I can't breathe, it feels like someone is squeezing my lungs with one hand and twisting my heart with the other.

I never realised quite how serious this situation is, I honestly believed it was my mum being stubborn, but no. She thinks it's wrong…she thinks I'm wrong. She can't accept it…she can't accept me, her own daughter.

This is a problem, a serious problem that won't ever go away and she won't change her opinion on it. She won't ever approve of what I am; she will never see me as the same person again.

Fucking hell, this hurts so much. This pain is so much worse than what Naomi made me feel because this is my mother and she'll…she'll never truly love me like she used to.

My heart being ripped out of my chest would have been less painful than this.

I can't stand it; I can't be in here and know that she doesn't see me as anything other than a dirty lesbian.

"I'm sorry." I don't even recognise my own voice, it sounds so tuneless and empty.

Broken.

I leave and close the door on the one place that I thought I'd always be loved it, my home.

How did everything go from bad to perfect to complete shit in less than 24 hours?

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**Let me know what you think guys as after all it is your opinions that matter :) Like I said, please don't hate me! R&R please! :)**


	10. You tell me I'm a wreck

**Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had to update Can you keep a secret (check it out if you haven't already :) ) But here's the next chapter, and I'll be writing the next chapter straight after this. **

**Please enjoy and let me know what you think as all of your reviews mean so much to me!**

**Oh and for all of you who were wondering why Emily overreacted in the last chapter, it's because she's so insecure. Insecurity makes people do stupid things.**

**I hope that clears it up :)**

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I didn't know what else to do. I don't think I've ever felt so lost in my entire life. I've had my heart crushed, been betrayed by my best friend and pretty much disowned by my mother in the space of an hour. So I turned towards the one thing that I knew would bring me comfort; alcohol.

I went straight to the pub after I walked out of my house, I couldn't think of a better place to go.

"Vodka, make it a double." I mumble to the bartender as I sit down on one of the small stools in front of the bar. He hands it to me neat, fuck the ice cubes; they just get in the way. I down it in one and cringe as the liquid burns my throat.

Ugh, I fucking hate vodka so I don't know why I drink it.

"Ugh, get me a Jack Daniels instead. Double, please." The barman nods and moves to get me the drink.

He returns and places the glass of amber liquid in front of me; I pour it all into my mouth and swallow. It tastes a right side better than vodka (which in my opinion tastes like the smell of paint stripper) but it still fucking burns. I feel the liquid travelling through my insides and warming them up in the process, it settles nicely into the pit of my stomach and it slowly melts away the numb feeling inside of me.

"Another." I grunt and nudge my glass towards the barman, he does as he's told and I down the whisky in one. This time it causes my stomach to burn horribly, I know I shouldn't drink when it's so early and when I haven't eaten but fuck it, I cherish the feeling as it's slowly making the pain inside of me disperse.

How could they all do that to me? How can Naomi be so cold and uncaring? How can Freddie be so naïve and betray me? And how can my own mother not accept me for who I am?

God, just stop thinking Emily. They don't care so you shouldn't either. I nod to myself, I probably look like a total twat but I don't care.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I finally pull it out. Nine missed calls, five from Naomi and four from Freddie and three new messages. I ignore them all and turn my phone off.

"A pint of Guinness, please." I say to the bartender and slide my money across the wooden table; he takes it and places the drink in front of me. I sip it; it's bitter and tastes horrible compared to JD but it'll do, at least it won't burn through my stomach.

I see someone sit beside me in the corner of my eye, I tilt my head to see who it is, and I groan and roll my eyes when he grins at me.

"Alright Red, bit early for you to drink innit?"

"Fuck off, Cook. And my name isn't Red." I snap at him. He doesn't reply, just nods and orders himself a drink. Stella, it looks like piss in the muggy pint glass.

"Bit hypocritical…not gonna ask me for a shag then?" I watch him closely; he takes a large swig of his drink and continues to stare straight ahead.

"Piss off, Emily." My mouth falls open and my eyebrows almost reach my hairline.

Whoa, wasn't expecting that.

He didn't sound angry or annoyed, in fact he sounded like I feel, fed up and emotionless. It's surprised me a lot; actually I think that's an understatement.

Cook doesn't stick up for himself because he turns everything into a joke, but if he does stand up for himself it's usually through anger or violence. It wasn't a warning either, it was just a genuine "piss off."

I sip my drink in silence, Cook does the same. I laugh internally at how he's almost finished his and mines not even gone half way; He finishes his first and orders a second; he's on his third when I finally decide to speak.

"So what brings you here?" He still doesn't look at me, just downs the rest of his drink.

"Probably the same reason as you." He says in the same tone as before. I scoff at the thought of Cook going through the same shit as me.

"What, you've had your heart crushed, been betrayed by your best friend and your mum is a total fucking bitch?" He finally looks at me and just grins but I see the twinkle of sadness in his eyes.

"Exactly." He mutters.

"Huh, wow…wait, Cook, what are you doing? You can't smoke in here!"

"This is my Uncle Keith's pub; I can do whatever the fuck I like." He blows the smoke towards me and I laugh, I grab the packet that he left on the table and take one without his permission but he isn't bothered, he holds the flame from his lighter in front of me so I can light it.

Ugh, nicotine. I sigh with pleasure as I let the smoke pour out of my mouth; it is exactly what I needed.

"What's up Emilio man?" He asks like he's generally concerned and I smile at the stupid nickname. It soon falters though as he's expecting an answer.

"It's stupid." I mutter simply because I don't like Cook, so why should I tell him?

Maybe, because right now he's the only person who cares?

Shut up mind.

"I'll be the judge of that." I look at him and I think this is the first time I've ever seen him look so serious and I get the sudden urge to open up to him.

"What do you do when someone you…like let's you down, really fucks you over?" Cook frowns at me for a minute, almost like he's trying to figure something out but then he calls to the barman for eight shots of tequila, four for me and four for him. We both down one before he replies.

"If your shag isn't just a shag, you're always gonna get your heart ripped out somewhere aren't ya?"

It's true, a shag is a shag but love is a doorway for a kick in the teeth, actually that'd probably be less painful than getting your heart ripped out.

"What do you do about it?" I ask him almost desperately and he knocks back another shot.

"Just burn kid, just burn. Just kick it to the other side." Could it really be that simple?

"Is that possible?" I take my second shot when Cook goes for his third. Oh man, that burns.

"Yeah, you just look a bit stupid if you don't. Don't ya? Look at me look, happy." He grins stupidly and holds his arms out.

Yeah he looks happy, but the grin fades quickly to a blank expression but I can see the tendered look in his eyes. He's revealing himself to me and it all finally makes sense, Cook may always seem so happy because it's all an act, he doesn't want anyone to know that underneath it all, he's hurting.

Wait, if he's had his heart crushed and been betrayed by his best friend then…

"Effy?" I ask in shock. Fuck, she wasn't just a shag to him, he actually loves her.

"You don't tell any of my secrets, I won't tell any of yours."

I smile at him and he smiles back, it's genuine and I trust him. I've misjudged Cook because of his act, that's the whole point, he wants people to misjudge him so that no one will care and he won't get hurt.

I finish my shots and my head is now spinning, Cook watches me with an amused grin when I randomly start giggling.

God, I love alcohol, I feel good and I couldn't give a fuck about what happened earlier. I'm with Cook of all people and I'm fucking enjoying it.

"Come on Red, let's go get bladdered and say "fuck the world."" Cook stands up from his seat and holds his hand out to me. I look at it and then back to his face, I grin and take it.

"Fuck the world."

**

Freddie's POV.

It's been a week since I've seen Emily. She hasn't been in college and I've only had one text saying "I'm fine; I'll come back when I feel like it." And then she turned her phone off again.

I'm fucking worried and I'm not the only one, Effy's worried and so is Katie, the whole gang is. I've had teachers asking me about where she is, I've even had her fucking mum calling me up asking if she's with me. The only reason why they haven't called the police is because I told them that she's okay and she'll return when she's ready. Emily's smart, she'll look after herself.

It's hectic, and Naomi's a fucking state. She hasn't been crying or anything but she's not being a sarcastic bitch either, she's just empty because she's worried. She and Effy have been coming to the shed every day after college and staying till late, I've stayed up late every day this week in hoping she'll come back but she hasn't.

I wish she would, I fucking miss her. I know I hurt her and I regret it, I just really thought she'd understand. Effy's changed for good and we're happy together, I know I promised but I love Effy, I have from the moment I met her and she loves me back. I just want Emily to come back and be happy for me; she is still and will always be my best friend.

Anyway, it's Saturday night and Thomas is DJing at the club so we can all get in for free, I may as well try and enjoy myself. Thank god for Effy and weirdly enough, Naomi, this would all be so much harder if I didn't have them around. I've been so overwrought this week so I definitely need to loosen up a bit.

Effy, Naomi and I are the first to arrive; Thomas gets us in straight away so Effy's gone to wait at a table whilst Naomi and I go to get drinks. There are already a lot of people here, half of them are congregating around the bar and the rest are on the dance floor. It's already fucking crowded and there's still plenty of people waiting to come in, it's gonna be a crazy night. I just wish that Emily could be here to enjoy it.

I get myself a beer and vodka and coke for Naomi and Effy, I lean against the bar as I wait for our drinks. I glance at Naomi, she still looks so blank but she catches me looking, I smile at her and she smiles back but I can tell it's forced. After spending this whole week with her I've been able to read her so much easier, she's worried about Emily and she misses her as much as I do.

"Do you think she'll come back?" Naomi mumbles only loud enough for me to hear.

"She will, I just don't know when." She nods sadly and I wrap my arm around her shoulder. I'm half expecting her to shrug me off but instead she leans into me, it's nice in a weird way. We quickly break apart when we're given our drinks and we push our way back through the crowd to where Effy is waiting, Pandora and Katie had arrived during the time that we were away, Panda greets us as happily as ever but Katie's watching me with the same concerned look in her eye that I've seen all week. Emily's disappearance was really affecting her.

"Have you heard anything?" She asks, she's asked me the same question every day. I shake my head and we both sigh.

"She'll come back eventually, I know she will."

Within ten or twenty minutes, JJ and Thomas join us at the table, they ask the same question as everyone else, "have you heard from Emily?" and once again I give the same answer and see the disappointment on our friends faces. It's not fair.

None of us have moved even after a few drinks and repetitive conversation, it seems that I'm not the only one who isn't in the mood for partying. Its weird how one person can have such a huge effect on us all, I don't think Emily even realises how loved she is.

"Are you okay?" Effy whispers in my ear and links her hand through mine; her beautiful blue eyes are filled with concern as they gaze into mine.

"Yeah, just worried." She smiles softly and kisses the corner of my mouth.

"She'll be okay."

"I know…I know."

"Right my friends, I must go and set up. Please enjoy yourselves." Thomas stands up and smiles at us all, we nod and wish him luck but just as he starts to move he stops, frowns and then smiles again.

"Look guys, Emily is here!" We all jump up as soon as he mentions Emily. I feel my heart pound ferociously in my chest as I look around for her, and sure enough, Emily is here and pushing her way through the crowd to make her way towards us. I drop back onto my seat and sigh with relief.

She's here, she's okay. Thank god!

Everyone else takes their seats as we wait for Emily to join us, except Thomas who has to go. Effy, JJ and Panda are smiling happily, Naomi is looking at the table and Katie is shaking her head, she looks annoyed but I know that she's actually relieved.

Emily appears in front of our table, I'm about to jump up and hug her but that's until I see the state she's in.

Her hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail. Her eyes are so fucking bloodshot that there's no white left, they look sore and the dark marks underneath them show how exhausted she looks. She's wearing ripped skinny jeans and a crinkled shirt, she looks a fucking mess.

Emily smirks as she looks round at us.

"Well, aren't we all fucking cosy?" Her usual husky voice is now hoarse and it sounds like she's struggling to even speak.

What the fuck has she done to herself?

"Emily, where on earth have you been?" I exclaim in concern. She laughs, it's weak and wheezy. I cringe at the sound of it; she looks so exhausted that she seems to be struggling to even stand.

Fuck, I've never seen her in this kind of state before.

"Ah Freddie, I've been everywhere." Her words are slurred and she stumbles slightly. She's fucking drunk!

I shoot a sideways glance at Naomi; she's staring at Emily with her mouth hanging open. Panda doesn't seem as bothered as us but that's simply because she's so oblivious to everything and lives in a land with rainbows and unicorns. Effy looks surprised but I'm always unsure of what that girl is thinking or feeling. JJ's trying to look elsewhere, I know he's nervous and probably on the verge of getting locked on, poor kid. Katie jumps up from her seat and moves round to her sister. Emily just smirks and looks proud of herself.

"Emily, what the fuck, where the fuck have you been? You can't just disappear and not tell anyone!" Katie fusses over her twin but Emily grabs her wrists and shoves her back to her seat.

"Fuck off Katie, I can and I did!" Emily snarls and Katie shrinks back into her seat, clearly taken aback by her sister's outburst.

"Emily what the…" I say as I stand up from my seat but I stop when fucking Cook bounces behind Emily and wrap his arms around her waist. I clench my fists in anger and I'm about to tell him to fuck off but that's before Emily leans back against him and whispers something in his ear, Cook grins and whispers something back.

What the fuck, so this is who she's been with this whole fucking week?! I never thought she'd sink this low, she fucking hates Cook!

Cook ducks his head for a moment; I can't see what he's doing but when he brings his head up, Emily…

Oh my god. My mouth falls open; I think if it could unhinge itself it'd go through the fucking floor.

Emily turned around and kissed Cook, open mouthed and quick; they look back at us, smirk and push their way back through the crowd. I'm still staring at the same place even after they left; it isn't until Effy tugs on my hand that I finally sit down.

What the fuck just happened? She's fucking gay for fucks sake!

I look around at the shocked faces; everyone is wearing the same expression except Naomi and Effy. Naomi looks paler than usual, I've never seen so many emotions on her face before; shock, confusion, anger, betrayal but most of all hurt. I watch her down the rest of her drink and blink away tears, Effy tries to comfort her and fails, Naomi just angrily shakes her off and drops her head into her hands.

Effy finally looks at me and for once I can read the emotions on her face, shock and anger.

I'm just worried about whom that anger might be aimed at, or could it possibly be jealousy?

What the fuck is going on?

**

**I bet you're all thinking "what the fuck" right now. Don't worry; it'll all make sense soon ;) I hope you enjoy this. R&R and please let me know what you think, I love you all!**


	11. We'll both go down together

**I really want to say thank you to everyone who has been reviewing this story and to everyone who has added it to their favourites, it really means a lot to me! **

**I don't think there are many chapters left for this story or for my other, but don't worry I already have another planned! :D**

**Also, for those of you who haven't yet, check out the skinsfansite website to see Kat at the Remember Me premiere AND to hear more about the skins movie! I'm really excited for it :D**

**Bit of a short chapter, it's a filler but I hope it's okay. Please let me know!**

**

Emily's POV

Who would have suspected James Cook to be a wise friend? I certainly didn't, but this week he's proved to be different. We now know pretty much everything about each other, I know about his crazy mother and fucked up father, they are both the cause of his shit upbringing and they are to blame for the way he is. I know about the friendship but him, Freddie and JJ, it certainly explained why three people who are so different from each other were best friends.

Cook hated his parents because they were pricks that didn't give a shit about him and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was killing him inside.

Freddie lost his mum, he blamed his dad for it and therefore Freddie hated him, all he wanted to do was find someway of forgetting which is why he skates and smokes so much weed.

JJ was mental in everyone's eyes, he still is. Nobody understood him and nobody wanted to give him a chance either, instead they'd just bully him. Everyone except Freddie and Cook, that is.

It all happened one day in Primary school, they were in their fifth year but they weren't friends, they barely even knew of each other. They were rejects but it's what brought them together. Some kids were apparently picking on JJ for no reason whatsoever, just for the fact that he was different and they didn't like him. Freddie and Cook defended him and got the kids to stop picking on him and that's how the friendship between them started. Three boys, completely different from each other were pulled into a friendship by the problems that made them different from everyone else.

After that they were inseparable, until they started college.

It's funny how one small change or one person can make or break everything.

I've spent this whole week with Cook; we haven't gone into college or anything. I didn't want to face Naomi and I certainly didn't want to see Freddie and Effy all loved up, neither did Cook and so we didn't bother. That's what makes being friends with Cook so easy, if you don't want to do something then you don't have to and he won't make you. So instead of college, we decided to go out and get completely fucking trashed. I don't think I've ever consumed so much alcohol in my whole life as I have in this week with Cook. We drank to our hearts content and took as many drugs as we could get our hands on.

We moved to different places each day just so that we wouldn't draw attention to ourselves, but we spent most of our time at Uncle Keith's because he'd let us do whatever the fuck we like, he'd even supply us with his own special blend which is surprisingly some good shit for something that looks like flour poured into a bag.

It's been one hell of a week, I've had approximately 12 hours sleep between Sunday and today – which is Saturday. I've had enough sleep to keep me going but not enough for me to have to suffer with a hangover. In the mornings I've been hopped up on caffeine with a mix of coffee, energy drinks and pro-plus. That would keep me up until we hit the alcohol and drugs which would see me through the night. It's been crazy, exhausting but exhilarating for sure; I wouldn't be surprised if my liver is shrivelled like a prune now.

Sadly, today is my last day of fun. As much as I hate college, I don't want to get kicked off my course so I know I can't afford to take anymore time off, I'm already going to be in deep shit. So I'm having one more nights of getting fucked at one of the clubs in town and Sunday will be my day of recovery. I know I'll still feel like complete and utter shit but oh well, it was worth it because I was at least able to forget about everything for a while. Sure it was always at the back of my mind and ready to jump out and bite me on the ass when I was least expecting it but the alcohol and drugs helped with it all.

Luckily I won't be on my own as Cook also knows that he can't risk taking any more time of college since he took plenty of time off in our first year. Because of us both losing Freddie has brought us together and built probably the weirdest friendship known to man kind, I have the comfort of knowing he'll be by my side to face everyone.

We aim to get to the club for ten, it's currently just turned nine o'clock and I have no idea what to do. I settle for a shower, each scolding water droplet helps un-fog my mind slowly but I'm not so sure if it's a good thing, it's nice to have a slightly clearer mind but it also means that I can think again and well…I just don't want to do that. So as soon as I step out of the bathroom in nothing but a skimpy towel, I light one of the several spliffs that are just lying around and allow the fogginess to return to my mind. I sink into the mattress on Cook's bed whilst I enjoy my spliff.

Luckily Cook doesn't live in student accommodation anymore; he lives in a little flat by himself. From outside, the place looks quite grotty but Cook has actually managed to keep it quite clean and tidy, sure he has a few annoying habits like leaving his dirty underwear around and leaving the toilet seat up but other than that, it's alright.

I haven't moved from my position even when Cook enters the bedroom, I'm not even bothered when his eyes widen as they move up and down my barely covered body because of how much the weed has calmed me.

"Babe as hot as this is, you're not gonna willy waggle with the cookie monster so I need to get my dick damp somewhere else." I cringe at his use of words but stub out the spliff in the ashtray.

"Piss off then so I can get dressed." I mumble as I step up to look through the bag of clothes that I managed to collect from Freddie's when I knew nobody would be in. Cook gives me some privacy and I decide on wearing black skinny jeans that have been severally ripped and a purple shirt, casual and comfortable. I'm not out to impress anybody so I don't care much for looking good. I towel dry my hair before brushing it and pulling it back into a scruffy ponytail, I don't bother with any makeup, it only gets smudged.

I give myself a quick once over, only checking that I don't look too much like a tramp and that the rips in my jeans aren't revealing too much. Once I'm done, I leave the bedroom and find Cook waiting patiently by the door. We make our way out of the flat and into the cold night but the spliff that we are passing between each other is enough to keep us warm as we make our way into town. Fortunately it isn't too far from Cook's and it doesn't take us long to find the club, unfortunately we have to wait in the queue since we don't have Thomas to get us in.

After waiting for about half an hour, we finally get in and I dive straight towards the bar with Cook on my tail. After a few shots and a couple of pills that Cook gave me, I'm well away. The multi coloured lights are flashing all around me as I sway to the music that's blasting through the building, I can't make out the beat but the thumping sound is enough for me to dance to. I feel loose and free, it's this kind of feeling that I wish could last forever, the feeling of being able to enjoy yourself without thinking or worrying about anything else.

Cook's gone somewhere, probably trying to get into some poor girls knickers or hopefully trying to find us some more pills. He'll find me though, I know he will and that's why I continue to dance in amongst the crowd of people without a care in the world. But as the crowd of bodies part slightly, I happen to see that my week of freedom has ended early. I stop dancing so that I can get a better look and hope that I was mistaken, unfortunately I wasn't. Sat at one of the tables towards the other end of the club was everyone I didn't want to see, I feel my fists clench as I watch Effy peck Freddie on the lips. I know it makes me sound jealous but I'm not, in fact I'm far from jealous, just angry at how much of an idiot Freddie is. I don't trust Effy in the slightest; surely I must have the rights not to, right?

I don't know why but I can't seem to stop myself from pushing my way through the crowd, it would make sense if I was going in the opposite direction but I'm not. Instead I'm making my way towards the table that I should be trying to avoid, it doesn't make sense so I'll blame it on the alcohol for provoking my curiosity.

One of the problems with being short and trying to make your way through a crowd of people who are much taller than you is the fact that they don't notice you, or if they do they seem to think they have more rights to reach their destination than you. I've been shoved plenty of times by these arrogant assholes and it takes a lot of self control to not turn around and punch them, I probably would right now if I wasn't fucked, that'd give my opponent an advantage you see and I'm not really in the mood to be taken out. So instead I ignore the shoves and elbows to inappropriate places and continue to push my way through the sweaty bodies.

It's Thomas who notices me first; I see his usual friendly smile as he looks over the crowd and spots me coming towards them. I see his mouth move and I'm guessing he's telling the others that I'm here. My guess is correct when the others suddenly stand up and look out into the crowd to try and spot me, which they do. Fuck, no going back now or they'll spend the rest of the night hunting me down. I take a deep breath and cross the rest of the distance between us.

I'm glad to be out of the horde of people but once I stop in front of the table, all eyes are on me. Their stares make me slightly uncomfortable but their reaction doesn't really surprise me, or maybe it does…just a little. I notice Freddie's hesitation and I read the same emotions in their eyes; shock. I smirk at how none of them dare to make a move, it's almost like they are scared that I've turned into a psychopath in this week, I know my current appearance doesn't do me any justice but I thought I'd receive something more than a wide eyed stare.

"Well, aren't we all fucking cosy?" I croak out, I didn't notice quite how dry my throat was until now, my voice sounds strangled. I clear my throat but it doesn't work, instead it just hurts. I notice how everyone except Naomi manages to regain their posture after I speak. My eyes lock with hers, she doesn't move in the slightest but she continues to stare at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. I feel a lump form in my throat; I want to wipe away the pain that is pooling in her eyes and tell her that I'm sorry. The week without seeing her was painful and I know I'm supposed to be mad at her but I can't help the way I feel, I can't help that I'm falling in love with the beautiful blue eyed blonde in front of me, I want to take it all back but I can't, I know its not that simple. She hurt me when all I wanted to do was care for her. She opened her heart to me, told me her feelings and made me feel things I never thought I would feel but then she pushed me out, it's not fair.

"Emily, where on earth have you been?" Freddie exclaims as he stares at me with concerned eyes. Concerned…ha, I laugh at the thought of Freddie worrying about me. How could he be worried when he's too busy being wrapped around Effy's little finger?

"Ah Freddie, I've been everywhere." Isn't it funny how you can lose your balance when you're standing firmly on two feet? Well I do it all the time and right now is no exception. Obviously it doesn't help that I'm drunk and the walls are dancing around me.

I don't mean to sound like such a bitch, I don't want to snap or get shitty with any of my friends. Truth is, I fucking miss them, this week away from them has made me realise that. I won't admit it though, my stubbornness hasn't changed.

"Emily, what the fuck, where have you been? You can't just disappear and not tell anyone!" I grab her wrists as Katie starts fussing over me by trying to straighten out my clothes and sort my hair. I shove against her so that she falls back into her seat.

"Fuck off Katie, I can and I did!" I spit at her and she recoils at my reaction. I don't want to snap at her, I regret it instantly but I can't seem to stop myself, I don't want her to show her concern for me. Katie looks hurt by my reaction, I don't blame her, I know I'm taking this too far.

"Emily what the…" Freddie begins just as Cook comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I notice Freddie pause and clench his fists, I don't want to cause a fight but Cook's been good to me and so I lean back against him, seeking his comfort.

"Did you find any more pills?" I whisper loud enough for him to hear me over the music. He grins and withdraws his arm from my waist to dig his hand into his trouser pocket.

"Fancy making Naomikins jealous?" He asks mischievously and places a small white pill onto the tip of his tongue.

It's cruel, I know it is but there is a part of me that can't resist Cook's challenge. I have two voices in my head, one telling not to do it and the other telling me that maybe it'll make Naomi see that I can't and I won't wait around forever for her to decide whether she wants me or not. And that's exactly the reason why I turn around and press my mouth to Cook's, I allow my tongue to slip over his and retrieve my prize. Our lips press together quickly to make "our kiss" look believable before we pull away; I swallow the pill and glance back at the table.

Freddie's eyes look like they are about to pop out of his head and I'm pretty sure that if he wasn't in shock right now, he'd probably be slapping me silly or kicking Cook's ass. As usual I can't read Effy's expression but I can tell that she's pissed off; good. JJ looks nervous and panicked like he's expecting a fight to break out, I don't blame him though, I'm quite surprised myself that fists haven't been thrown. Pandora looks slightly confused, bless her, I love the girl but she's definitely a natural blonde. Katie looks equally as shocked as Freddie but from the look in her eye, I know that she knows I'm only fucking around. It's a twin thing, she knows that this isn't me, it's fucking annoying but sadly it's true. I know what it's like to be fucked around and I've just done the exact same thing to Naomi. Guilt washes over me as I look at the now extremely pale blonde as she stares down at the wooden table.

But wait, no she fucking hurt me first so fuck it, she can have a taste of her own medicine.

I try to get the small voice in the back of my head to shut up but all it keeps repeating is that I'm doing so much worse to Naomi than she did to me. I plaster on a smirk and push my way back to the dance floor with Cook clinging to my hand.

I may be regretting it deep down but that's not for them to know. For now, I can just blame it on the alcohol again.

**

**I was going to make this chapter longer but I decided to use it as a filler so you know what happened through Emily's POV. I know it's a bit short and a bit shit but my head has been preventing me from writing recently. Hopefully I'll break through this block soon but just in case I don't, here's the update.**

**Let me know what you think! Your reviews mean the world to me :)**


	12. I miss the lips that made me fly

**Thanks for the reviews guys, they mean the world as always! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

******

Naomi's POV

I feel physically sick; it feels like someone has just shoved a hook through where it hurts the most, my heart.

How could she do that to me after everything I confessed to her? It should make a difference when someone loves you, shouldn't it?

Why did she have to fucking run away? She didn't even give me a chance to explain. I know what I said wasn't fair but I wasn't thinking straight, with the worry of my mum; I thought a relationship would complicate things more. I'm finding it hard to deal with my own feelings without having to take someone else's into consideration.

But I was wrong, I need Emily, I need her in my life. Not seeing or speaking to her this week has been dreadful, I miss her. I'm worried about her, I know she text Freddie saying that she's okay but Emily's stubborn, even I know that and I don't even know her as well as I wish I did.

But this is what I hate; I shouldn't be so attached to her. I've been telling myself this from the moment that I fell in love with the red head. I don't need people and I certainly don't love them, the only people I love and need is my mum and Effy.

But that's how I used to be, before I laid eyes on Emily. I didn't care about people and I always told myself that I'd never fall in love, I saw how it destroyed my mum every time she thought of my dad. He may be a shitty little prick but I know she still loves him in some way, it's saddening really. I never wanted to be like that, I've always been headstrong and independent but here I am, crumbling into a fucking mess over one beautiful red head that just happened to snog possibly the sleaziest guy right in front of me.

I like Cook, he's been a good friend to me and I know there's more to him than what meets the eye. But Emily detests him, so why she's hanging out with him is beyond me, but kissing him? Emily kissing a guy is a big enough shock as it is but she kissed Cook of all people.

The scene keeps on repeating itself within my mind; the thought of it is agonising but seeing it makes it all so much worse.

I've seen Emily with other people before, my best friend being one of them, but this hurts more because back then nobody knew about how I felt, now they do and there is nothing I can do to hide the way I feel. Emily knows and she knew how much this would hurt me…hmm, I don't think hurt is the right word to describe it. Okay, she knew that this would destroy me.

This is the reason why I hate being in love with her, she is the one person who can ruin my life. I hate that she has this power over me, she knocked down barriers without even knowing it but now that she does know, she has used that power to hurt me in so many ways. My head of screaming at me to get out before she royally fucks me over but my heart is stuck in a mix of crimson and chocolate brown and the sweet aroma of what I think is roses. I'm chained to Emily Fitch and a part of me never wants to be released.

Seeing Emily that way, I hate it. She looked so tired and weak, seeing her so fucked out of her head was more painful than I ever thought it would be, not that I have thought about her in that kind of state but oh well.

Knowing that I'm the main reason behind it, it makes me sick, especially over something that she blew completely out of proportion. Why couldn't she have just stayed and let me explain? We wouldn't be in this mess if she had.

I down the new drink that Effy just placed in front of me, the liquid burns but the feeling is soothing compared to the throbbing in my chest.

Effy looks at me with concerned eyes, I feel bad for snapping at her when she was only trying to comfort me but I can't help but feel that in a way, this is all her fault. If she hadn't fucked around with Emily I could have probably ignored my feelings for her.

If she hadn't convinced me to invite Emily and Freddie to the party then we never would have flirted and they wouldn't have stuck up for me in college.

If Effy hadn't convinced me to apologise to them then we wouldn't have ended up in Freddie's shed, I wouldn't have punched Emily and what happened at the hospital would never have happened. If we didn't go to the club, if she didn't make me go and see Emily then we wouldn't have ended up fucking in the toilets. If Emily didn't catch Effy and Freddie kissing then we wouldn't have gone back to mine, we wouldn't have had sex and I wouldn't have told her how I feel.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't blame this all on her; it's my fault as much as it is hers. Effy was only trying to help, she succeeded but I was the one who fucked it all up. I panicked and shut down and tried to push Emily away, in which I fucking succeeded.

Fuck, I miss her, I miss _my_ Emily.

Wait, _my_ Emily?! What the fuck? She was never mine and now she never will be.

"Naomi…Naomi!" I snap out from my day dream from the sound of Effy shouting at me. I look at her and blink as I try to focus my attention back on reality but I can't stand the worried stares from her and Freddie. I distract myself by looking around the table only to find that JJ and Katie have left. That's weird…I never noticed them go.

"JJ couldn't handle the tension so he's gone to find Thomas and Katie's gone to sort out Emily." Effy answers the question that was filling my mind; obviously she knew exactly what I was thinking from my puzzled expression so I nod in return. I feel bad for JJ but I really hope Katie finds Emily and gets her to stop with all of this shit.

"Is Emily surf and turfing with guys now Eff? I thought she was only into fannies." I can't help but giggle at Panda's question, her way of wording it reminds me of a child.

"No Panda, she's not." Effy replies as bluntly as ever, I laugh sarcastically.

"Could have fooled me." I mutter and spin my empty glass on the table; it's much more interesting than looking at faces.

"She's just fucking with you." I look up and raise my eyebrow at her. Freddie has his arm slung loosely around Effy's shoulder but he's staring of into the dance floor, I know this has shocked him as much as it has me.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I'm all knowing Naoms, you should know that." She winks and smirks at me in her typical mysterious way. I'm so used to it that I just roll my eyes at her.

"Yeah, well you didn't know that I liked her when you were fucking her around." I clamp my hand to my mouth in shock as the words accidentally spill out. I feel the tension thicken as Effy drops her eyes to the floor.

"Effy I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that." I splutter pathetically and shake my head; it's not in the right place tonight.

"Yes you did; it's okay." She looks at me, her voice and eyes are filled with sadness. This time I have to look away. Effy's right, I do mean it but I don't hold it against her, she knows me better now. She's grown up within this last year; she no longer wants to fuck people around. It scares her to change but she's doing so well already, she loves Freddie and she's finally allowing herself to enjoy the feeling.

I reach out and take her hand under the table, she squeezes mine, letting me know that she understands and forgives me.

"Do you really think that she's trying to fuck with me?" I ask quietly, if I spoke any louder then they'd be able to hear every emotion that I'm feeling right now.

"From the way she looked so guilty every time she looked at you, I know so."

I rake my fingers through my tangled blonde locks and sigh. Could Effy be right? Was Emily really only trying to fuck with my head? If so, she is certainly doing a good job of it. This whole situation is ridiculous, I know what I did was wrong but Emily's taking it too far. I stand up so quickly that the alcohol rushes through my head and I have to grip onto the table for support.

"What are you doing?" Effy asks in surprise by my sudden actions.

"For once I'm not running away. I'm gonna find Emily and sort this shit out." The confidence in my voice surprises me because inside I'm feeling far from confident. Freddie finally pulls his gaze away from the dance floor and glances up at me, I know from the look in his eyes that he agrees with me. Emily's in no fit state to sort things out herself and we know that if we don't do it, Emily will carry on acting this way and I love her too much to let her do that.

Effy looks at Freddie, she knows exactly what he's thinking so no words needed to be exchanged. Instead she got up and sat beside Panda as Freddie stood up to join me, she'd join us later if need be but right now this situation didn't concern her.

"Let's get your girl." Freddie nudges my arm lightly, I smile shyly.

My girl, I do like the sound of that.

**

**Sorry that it's short again but I wanted you all too finally know the way that Naomi feels. I wanted to fill in a few more things because otherwise this story would have been quite short. More happens after this, I promise :)**

**R&R let me know what you think!**


	13. Ive only got forever and forever is fine

Sorry that this chapter has taken me a while guys, I've been ill! I'm better now so will be getting the rest down asap!

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and everything else, you're amazing!

Let me know what you think! :)

**

Emily's POV

The pill that Cook gave to me has finally kicked in and I'm back on the dance floor, swaying happily to the music with my hands up in the air. The coloured lights are more vivid than before as they dance of sweaty bodies, making each movement look as if everything is in slow motion. The colours are intriguing as they flash in my eyes; I close them and allow a satisfied smirk to creep upon my lips. The heat of people dancing around me radiates through my clothes and I feel sweat begin to seep through my skin, the heat makes me feel like I'm suffocating but it only adds to the effect of the drugs as my arms dance above me and my hips sway from side to side.

A hand slips around my waist and the sudden contact sends a jolt through my body. I can't quite place my finger on the feeling, maybe its nerves or possibly excitement but the drugs have disguised them so that I only feel relaxed and free. The hand is small so I at least know that it belongs to a girl, her body presses up against my back and I curl my arms around her neck. She's taller than me but only a little, her hair is long, slightly curled and soft between my finger tips. Soft lips attack my bare neck, a shiver trickles down my spine and I roll my head to the side to allow her more room. The girl takes the offer as she kisses down my neck until she reaches the collar of my shirt and then she travels back up towards my ear, I gasp as she nips my earlobe. It's wrong, it feels so wrong but I guess I can ignore it if she's fit, please god let her be fit!

I turn towards the girl and I'm relieved to find that she's semi-attractive. Okay that's a lie, she's incredibly attractive. Her hair is a dark brown, possibly black but I can't tell from the lack of lighting in the room. Her eyes are dark too but they glisten every time a light flashes across her face. Her defined cheek bones structure her face in a sexy but mature way, especially with her full lips that look so very kissable. Her lips pull back into a smile and reveal her brilliant straight teeth just as a flash of green light streaks across her face, her smile is beautiful and contagious and I find myself smiling back at her.

"I'm Sharon." She shouts over the top of the music.

"Emily." I reply, my voice sounds lost within the thumping beat of the bass but Sharon's stunning smile tells me that she heard. I smirk and reach my arms up to curl them around her neck and she presses her body into mine, I gasp again but this time it's because of Sharon's hips grinding into mine. I feel hot but not from the heat that's circulating the room, it's because of the eyes that are boring into mine. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, it's almost as if she's trying to see into my soul and read my every thought and feeling.

I break the eye contact and close the distance between us, bringing out lips together for a gentle kiss.

Blonde air and blue eyes flash through my mind as soon as our lips connect, I freeze against but I'm thankful that she doesn't notice and I feel her tongue brush against my lips, I oblige and allow her access. Her tongue, hot and sweet, strokes over mine and another flash of blonde hair and blue eyes appears behind the darkness of my closed lids.

Fuck off, my mind growls and I pull Sharon harder against me, I kiss her roughly and she moans into my mouth. Oh god, this doesn't feel right at all, not when all I can see is Naomi.

Teeth bite down on my bottom lip and fingers dig into my hips. Fuck it, I need this. A mindless shag will help me to forget.

But before I can even drag this innocent girl into the nearest toilet, a hand grips my side and pulls me away. I quickly untangle my arms from Sharon's neck before I end up pulling her with me and I turn around to find a pissed off looking Katie.

"Fuckin' hell, did you slip me something because I swear I can see two of you?" I roll my eyes at Sharon's comment. Why do people find twins so hard to believe?

"We need to talk." Katie demands and snatches my hand.

"Can't you see we were in the middle of something?" Sharon snaps and wraps a possessive arm around my waist.

"She's my sister so fuck off yeah?" Katie tugs on my hand but Sharon keeps a firm hold on me which pisses me off a little, who's she to stop me from going anywhere?

"Emily?" She asks sweetly and starts kissing my neck again but I pull away.

"Sorry Sharon, you're lovely but I have to go." I offer her a small smile but she scoffs and walks away. Ah that's a shame, she was definitely worth bedding…oh god, I sound like Cook!

"You weren't seriously going to get with her, were you?" Katie asks sceptically and I glare at her whilst crossing my arms over my chest.

"What's it to you?" I snap, I watch as Katie bites her lip and shakes her head carefully.

"Nothing, I just thought…Naomi…" I sigh and drop my head as her sentence trails off.

"No, probably not, how did you…"

"I've spent the week with them, I pretty much know everything." Katie answers my unfinished question and I nod slowly.

"I've really fucked up Katie." I say sadly and I hate how weak I sound. I can no loner help but feel guilty after seeing Naomi in my mind whilst kissing that girl. Katie looks around, takes my hand and starts pulling me elsewhere.

"It's too loud in here, we'll talk outside." Katie answers my thoughts again; she's turned into a fucking mind reader like Effy. I internally scold myself for thinking such a thing.

Katie drags me through the club until we finally reach the exit. The cold air bursts upon my skin like someone has covered my body with a thin blanket of ice; the breeze curls around my bare neck and causes the light hairs to stand up on end. I shiver slightly but I don't know whether it's from the cold or from the grilling I know I'm about to receive from Katie.

It surprises me when she doesn't drop my hand, instead she continues to pull me away from the club until we're down some pissy alley way. I'm half expecting to get ambushed or something.

"Emsy, what's going on?" Katie asks softly.

I smile at my family nickname, it reminds me of the happy times when my biggest worry was trying to fit in with Katie. It's funny thinking back to childhood and early teenage years, like when you get your first period or the worry of getting rejected by a boy ( in Katie's case ) and you don't think life could get any worse.

I think I'd like to go back to them times.

Despite mine and Katie's childish banters, we've always had a comfortable, easy life. I sometimes wish that the destruction was caused by something other than my sexuality, it would make living at home a little more bearable if I knew that it wasn't my fault why everything fell apart.

I know my mum's a bitch and that she's as much to blame for all this as I am but trying to hate her and trying to act like her disapproval means nothing to me is so much harder than it looks. There are some things a mother and daughter should be able to talk about but I don't have that with mine. I had to discover and deal with my sexuality by myself; I didn't have that one person that I should have been able to confide in, not until I got Freddie. Hence why I love the boy so much, hence why I'm so fucking scared of losing him.

My friendship with Freddie has always been honest and easy, when I say that he knows everything about me, I mean he knows me down to every last detail. No secrets, there's no point. Most guy and girl friendships have boundaries on what they talk about but it's not like that with Freds, he doesn't treat me as one of the guys nor does he treat me as a chick. He treats me as me and he doesn't freak out when I tell him stuff, he's always listened no matter what.

That's why I'm so scared that Effy will hurt him, I can't stand the thought of him being broken again. I know he has to learn from his mistakes but I think Freddie would forgive her over and over again.

Love makes you do stupid things.

"Ems…hello?!" The voice to the side of me and the hand waving in front of my face brings me back to reality and out of my thoughts. Katie's watching me with an impatient but concerned expression on her face.

I sigh and slump back against the brick wall, I slip down so that I'm sat on the floor with one leg stretched out in front of me and the other is pressed against my chest as I rest my head on my knee. I pull my hair out from the tight band and let it fall in slight curls upon my shoulders; I rake my fingers through it and sigh again.

"I don't know what to do Katie." I whisper loud enough for her to hear. She shifts from standing beside me and sits down in front of me instead.

"I don't know either. I just know that everyone has missed you so much this week." Katie leans forward and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Really they have." She tries to persuade me after I scoff at the thought of everyone missing me.

"Freddie hasn't been himself, he looks so exhausted and miserable without you around, and he's been on edge all week." Katie's eyes widen in surprise as I laugh sarcastically.

"I don't believe that, he's probably been too busy shagging Effy." I say as calmly as I can but all I can hear is the bitterness roll off my tongue.

"For fucks sake, Emily" Katie snaps, I can see the anger pooling in her deep brown eyes and I flinch, here comes the grilling.

"They fucking love each other, yeah? If you'd give them a chance then you'd see that. You're acting like a jealous cow so what the fuck is your problem?"

"I'm not fucking jealous, Katie. I just don't want to lose him." Wow that was pretty honest of me if I may say so.

"Well you're doing a pretty good job of that yourself." I open my mouth to reply but no words come out, I actually don't know how to answer that. My eyebrows pull together in a tight frown as I try to think of a comeback but I'm actually stumped. I never really thought of it like that. Katie notices my hesitation and continues to speak her mind.

"Freddie loves you and he'd never leave you but you can't deny him the rights to be happy, it's not fair. He loves Effy but you're his best friend, the only way you're going to lose him is if you keep pushing him away." Jesus what happened to my sister? She's not even finished either.

"And Naomi…Naomi's crazy about you. She made a mistake like we all do and she regrets it. But she fucking loves you Ems, her face would light up as soon as anyone mentioned your name but she'd look so down when nobody had heard from you. I know I've never been exactly supportive of you being a lezza but you're lucky to have someone who loves you as much as she does." I gape at Katie in shock; it was something I did not expect to ever hear from her. Like she said, she has never really been supportive of me being gay but unlike my mum, she just let me get on with it, it didn't affect her so she didn't care. I know Katie would prefer me to be straight so hearing her trying to persuade me to forgive Naomi is a pretty huge deal.

Hearing it from Katie, suddenly everything makes sense. I realise how selfish I've been acting, I've been pushing Freddie away, I've been hurting Naomi because of my own stupid trust issues. People make mistakes, I've made plenty myself. Do I really want to go and make more by pushing away my best friend and the girl that I'm falling for? I accused Naomi of running away from me but really I think I was looking for a reason to run myself. I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

I chew on the inside of my lip and frown, it's funny how fresh air and a serious conversation can sober me up but it's the pounding headache that comes straight after that makes me realise that this isn't how I want to be, I don't want to spend everyday of my life fucked off my tits. I had ambition once, I aimed to do well and live my life the way I wanted to but recently I've thrown that all away. The funny thing is, is I'm the smart twin, Katie's smart too but she always had the I'll-make-a-decision-at-the-last-minute attitude. The original plan was to get my GCSE's, do my A-levels and go to university and live my life but instead I've let my marks go downhill just because I wanted to rebel against everyone.

What the fuck am I doing? I could have seriously fucked my future up for a pathetic reason.

"Jesus Christ." I mutter and drop my head into my hands.

"They'll forgive you Ems, it's not too late." Katie pulls one of my hands away from my face and links our fingers together. I look up and smile at her whilst tears fill up in my eyes. She shuffles forward and wraps her arms around me; I cling to her and rest my head on her chest. I listen to her steady heartbeat and her comfortingly stroking my hair is enough to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. I pull back after a while and kiss her cheek.

"I need to see them." I whisper and Katie nods.

Almost as if they were supposed to be on cue, Freddie and Naomi suddenly come out of the club just as Katie and I step out from the alleyway. I freeze when I see them but I don't move when they notice me and make their way towards us, they stop when they get closer so that there is some distance between us. I don't bother to look at them, I just start walking forward.

"Emily…" Freddie begins, I know he's expecting me to walk off but instead I walk straight up to him until I'm close enough to stand on my tip toes and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms instantly encircle my waist and he holds me so tightly, it doesn't hurt though, Freddie's hugs are always comforting. It doesn't take long for my arms to ache though and I'm slightly wobbly when I stand on my tip toes so I stand on the flats of my feet and wrap my arms around his scrawny waist instead. He rests his chin on the top of my head which is resting against his chest.

"I'm so sorry Freddie." I whisper, my voice so low that it couldn't really be classed as a whisper but Freddie hears me and places several kisses on the top of my head.

"It's okay, you're safe, and that's all that matters." He speaks softly and even though I relax, tears start to form again. I've been such a bitch to him when all he's done is care and look after me.

I step back and smile weakly at Freddie, a couple of tears cascade down my cheeks and he brushes them away softly with his thumb.

"Love you." I say innocently and pout. Freddie laughs and pulls me back in for another hug.

"Love you too Ems, always." I smile against his chest. I never realised quite how much I could miss this but spending a week away from him has showed me just how much I would hate it if Freddie wasn't in my life. But being here and knowing that my best friend still loves me makes a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

I pull away again because there is still one more person who I need to apologise to. I look over to the side where Naomi is standing, obviously she wanted to give me and Freddie some space, and it makes me smile how considerate she can be.

She looks up at me and she looks so innocent, but I can see the hurt that's etched into her beautiful eyes and I hate myself a little more than I did before. This girl, this gorgeous blonde girl standing in front of me has made me realise exactly what I've been missing, and what I want. My heart flutters in my chest from just looking at her; I don't know how I could have been so blind before. This stunning, intelligent and amazing girl is in love with me and I ran from her, I hurt her and I hate it.

Sure Naomi has faults but who doesn't? It doesn't matter because her good points weigh out the bad and I know that I could point out more of the things that I love about her than I could of the things I don't. She has been a bitch to me, to everyone in fact, she has been cold and cruel but that's the way she protects herself. I have seen a different side to her; I've seen the sweet, adoring girl that has made me feel things I haven't felt before, and I know that if she believes that I'll never hurt her then I'll see that side forever. I know I want her and if she still wants me then we can work together on our trust, I know I can do that for her.

"Naomi…I'm sorry." I say with more strength to my voice but it's still filled with my sorrow and guilt. Naomi doesn't say or do anything, she just continues to look at me, I step forward cautiously because I don't know what to expect after the silence, the only thing I can think of is a slap round the face and her shouting "Fuck you" and storming off.

"Naomi." I say again and I notice something flash across her eyes and she blinks, it's almost like she was in a trance or something. She still doesn't do anything except she looks down to the floor instead. I feel a lump form in my throat, the worry of having totally fucked things up between us washes over me but I manage to find the strength to take another step, and another, and another, until I'm standing only mere centimetres away from her. I take a deep breath and reach out to slip my hand into hers.

"Naomi I'm sorry, I fucked up." The lump thickens when Naomi shakes her head.

"No Emily, I'm sorry. What I done wasn't fair on you, I was scared." I feel my heart break at the despair in her voice but I have to stay strong if I want to wipe the misery away.

"So was I." I confess, she still won't look at me so I shift closer to her so that our bodies are nearly touching. My free hand reaches out and I place my fingers beneath her chin and pull her face up so that she's looking at me. Her sad eyes check mine and she tries to look away again almost as if she's self conscious but I don't allow her to.

"But I'm not anymore." I whisper and her eyes dart back to mine in surprise. I smile lightly but I struggle to get the next words out.

"Because…" My sentence trails off and I sigh. I have to look away but I can still feel Naomi's face on my face.

"Because I…" Fucking hell, why is it so hard to say a fucking sentence? I bite my lip and I feel Naomi squeeze my hand gently.

"Because what?" She whispers. I force my eyes back up to hers and I can see the curiosity in the beautiful blues. I somehow manage to find the courage to lean forward and whisper in Naomi's ear.

"I'm falling in love with you."

Naomi pulls back quickly only to then crash her lips against mine, she cups my face with both hands and I tangle my fingers through her soft curls. This kiss deepens and our tongues dance wildly together, the taste and feel of her makes my heart feel like it's about to explode. I kiss her passionately as I try to pour my every feeling into it, I want her to feel my uncertainty and my fear but I want her to feel the love that is building up within me, I want her to feel my desire for her. When she kisses me back equally as passionately, I know that she felt it and she's returning it. We're both still scared but there's no more running now, we have to go through it and concur it together.

This, this is what feels right. The kissing feels right, the passion feels right. The clinging to each others bodies feels right.

With Naomi, everything feels perfect. When we kiss it's like the world stops around us, I feel like we're on a world where it's just us. I know that the world doesn't stop, but nothing can make us pull away from each other. Not even the awkward coughs coming from Katie. Not the eyes that are gawking at us. Not the aching in my jaw or the burning through my body. Not even the sound of Cook joining the audience and shouting "That's fucking hot, Cookie wants some action."

But what does make us pull away is the nasty sound of someone's fist connecting with something; I know exactly what I'm going to see when I turn around.

Yup, Cook on the floor clutching his bloody nose and Freddie standing over him with his fist clenched.

Something's change, but something's don't.

**

So some happy times and a little angst for you, I hope you like! There are only at least two chapters left now, possibly three if I can think of something. Ah I'm sad that it's close to ending, are you?

Please review and let me know what you think. I love you guys, you seriously rock!


	14. Its the same old sad story

**Thanks again guys! Sorry it's taken a while for me to update, I know I keep apologising but I really am sorry. I get distracted far too easily haha :)**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**

"Freddie, what the fuck are you doing?!" I scream as Freddie kneels next to cook and roughly pulls him up by the collar of his polo shirt. Freddie's jaw is set and his fists are still clenched, I know that he'll end up beating the shit out of Cook if I don't do something about it.

"Freddie fucking stop it!" I run forward and grab his arm and attempt to pull him away but he's stronger than he looks. He loosens his hold on Cook's collar only to look at me with a puzzled expression.

"Why? He kept you away from us and got you trashed!"

"No he didn't, he was looking after me. I wanted the drugs so Cook gave them to me but he never let me get out of control, he was always there when I needed him." Freddie watches me in disbelief as I kneel down beside Cook to examine his bloody nose. Luckily it doesn't appear to be broken so he shrugs me off and stands up. Typical Cook doesn't want anyone showing their concern because it'd make him look less manly.

I stand up as well and turn back to Freddie who's still glaring at Cook with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Of course I fucking did Emilio man, Cookie ain't that shallow." He grins his stupid grin and ruffles my hair; I slap his hand away which only makes him grin more.

"Only because you were hoping for a shag, you wouldn't give a shit otherwise." Freddie spits coldly. Cook barks a laugh and shakes his head; I know that he's actually hurt by Freddie's assumptions.

"For fucks sake Freds, it wasn't like that. Cook knows I wouldn't ever sleep with him." Sounds a bit harsh, I know, but it's true. I told Cook that there was no chance of me sleeping with him during the first night I stayed with him and he didn't even try to persuade me. I think he was just grateful to have a friend with him; a shag would have only been a bonus.

"Well why did you fucking kiss him then? I thought you were gay Emily." I laugh in surprise because I honestly forgot about "the kiss."

"Jesus Freds, of course I'm gay! We didn't kiss, he was giving me a pill and I wanted to piss you all off. I'm sorry but I was mad at you." I tell him as sincerely as I can. Freddie's expression softens a little only for it to pull into a frown. I look to the side quickly and see that Katie is now standing beside Naomi whilst looking awkwardly at the ground. Naomi is watching me but her hands are playing with the cuffs of her blazer, she looks uncomfortable but she flashes me a sweet smile when she realises that I'm looking. If it wasn't for Cook speaking I probably wouldn't have been able to tear my eyes away from that gorgeous smile.

"I wouldn't try to get Emily to fucking shag me mate, not when she told me that she wouldn't. I'm not that much of a prick." Cook's voice doesn't betray the hurt that he's feeling but I know it's there; he's just good at hiding it.

"Oh yeah so that's why you decided to sleep with Effy even though you knew how I felt about her." Ouch, that was a low blow. Or at least I consider it to be since I know how he feels about Effy, and feeling Cook tense beside me I know that he's thinking the same thing.

"Freddie…" I begin only to be cut off by Cook.

"Fuck you man, you weren't the only one she hurt. You've fucking got her now though, but what have I got, huh? Cookie's got nothing." Cook holds his arms out either side of him; he shakes his head and drops them back to his side. My sympathy goes to him he may be a twat but underneath he's a good guy and he doesn't deserve to have been hurt either.

"Yeah, I have got her, so stay the fuck away." Freddie snarls, for such a soft guy he's pretty scary when he's angry. I look up at Cook as he shakes his head with a sad smile on his face.

"You're choosing her over me?" He enquires disbelievingly.

"You chose Effy over me even though you knew I loved her and you done it just so you could get a fucking shag!" Freddie shouts, making me jump a little.

It looks like fists are about to be thrown and I don't want to be caught in their line of fire so I slowly shuffle away from Cook until I'm standing to the side with Katie and Naomi. Naomi's arms slip protectively around my waist from behind and I lean against her, my heart is beating manically within my chest as my eyes dart back and forth between the two boys. I can honestly say I'm a little nervous about what may happen next, I don't like witnessing violence especially if it's between two people that I care about.

Freddie's body is tense and shaking with rage and I fear that he might explode at any time. Cook remains calm with his hands casually stuffed into the pockets of his trousers, only occasionally moving to wipe the blood away from his nose.

"It wasn't like that man." He says bluntly.

"Well what was it like then?" Freddie continues to shout. Something obviously snaps within Cook as he suddenly takes a large step forward, bringing him and Freddie face to face. I swallow hard and grip onto Naomi's hand, I don't want either of them to get hurt but what Cook does next surprises me more than if he had thrown a punch.

"I fuckin' love her, okay? She's the only girl that I've ever loved. But she doesn't want me Freds, it's you, it's always been you. She used me and that fuckin' hurts. You've got her now so stop acting like a pussy." Cook ruffles Freddie's hair in a less than affectionate way, probably to refrain himself from punching him instead. He turns around and storms back off into the club.

We all stand in silence from the shock. Freddie continues to stare at the space in the front of him where Cook was standing. He slowly turns towards us and I can read every emotion that he's feeling from the glint in his dark eyes. The obvious guilt tells me that Freddie still cares about Cook; it's a shame that such a strong friendship was so easily tampered with, not just between them but also with JJ.

They were once the three musketeers but after Freddie and Cook fell out, JJ couldn't deal with them trying to make him choose and that's why he started hanging out with Thomas. It's horrible to think about how even the strongest of friendships can crumble with ease. Everything is so fragile.

"Did you know?" Freddie confronts me with a voice that is barely a whisper.

"Yes I did, and that was really unfair Freddie. He misses you, you know?" Freddie shrugs half heartedly and I sigh, I know that he's feeling bad and he doesn't know what to do about it.

"You're going to sort things out with him. He's backing off from Effy so you can at least give him your friendship in return." I insist and Freddie nods slightly. If he'll at least try then that's good enough.

Friendships are important, especially with someone who's been with you through everything and understands you. The only person that Freddie has had that with – other than me is Cook.

Friendships are special; I don't think anybody truly appreciates them. Some people say that friends are overrated but they're not. It's nice having someone who understands you and unconditionally cares about you. Everyone goes through friends quicker than changing their underwear but eventually you will find that one friend that you'd protect no matter what.

"I better go and find Effy," Freddie mutters and walks off only to stop and turn back, "Will you be coming back to the shed tonight?" He asks hopefully but I shake my head.

"No, I'm going to stay with Cook. I'm not just going to ditch him." I sound harsher than I intend and I cringe at how Freddie's face falls.

"I'll come by tomorrow though." I quickly add after and Freddie smiles. I break out of Naomi's hold and step forward so that I can give him a hug, his arms wrap around me once again. I know that he doesn't like upsetting me so he'll more than likely do as I say, its cool having that kind of effect on someone.

Freddie pulls away and walks into the club without a second glance. I sigh and push my fingers through my hair again, today has been too hectic for my liking, and I could definitely do with a fag.

As if she read my mind, Naomi pulls a packet of cigarettes from her pocket, offering one to Katie who refuses and then offering one to me, which I gratefully take. After lighting up and taking a long and much needed drag, the rush of nicotine hits me like an oncoming bus. I feel the tightness in my chest loosen and my nerves settle as a wave of calm washes over me, I close my eyes and slowly breathe the smoke out. Man it feels so good!

It doesn't take me long to dispose of the fag and after I do, I turn back to Naomi and snuggle into her chest, she wastes no time in wrapping her arms around me and her hold instantly makes me feel secure and comfortable, a shiver slips down my body when she presses several kisses to my hair.

I've missed this feeling and it's taken until now, when I'm wrapped up in the girl that I adore, to make me realise just how much. But it doesn't matter because for now, everything is almost alright.

I turn my head to the side so that I can see Katie, she's still looking at the ground but now a slight smile is playing on her lips. I extend my arm and capture her fingers with mine, she looks up at me and I can't stop myself from smiling when her eyes meet mine.

"Thanks Katie." I murmur, she smiles back and gently squeezes my hand.

"Are you really going to stay with Cook tonight?" She asks and I can hear the hope in her voice – not hoping that I'll stay with Cook, but hoping that I'll change my mind and come home. I know I will have to at some point, the feud between me and mum is still a problem that needs to be sorted but for now it's something that can wait.

"Yeah I am, he really has been a good friend to me." Katie nods and her smile falters ever so slightly, I never thought Katie would miss me as much as she appears to. I pull out of Naomi's arms again so that I can hug Katie, she clings to me when my arms wrap around her.

"Come home tomorrow, yeah? We'll sort all this out with mum." I smile and nod, I suppose it's worth a try. Here's to hoping.

"Right well, today's been fun but I can think of something more fun for me to be doing. Text me tomorrow babes." She kisses my cheek and struts back into the club. I grimace; I know exactly what "more fun" is for Katie and it's not a pretty image.

Naomi giggles at my disgusted face and leans in to peck me on the lips, the bad images of my sister are forgotten as soon as I curl my hands around her neck and her warm breath fills my mouth. All of my senses fizzle out when her tongue strokes over mine and each movement causes my heart to flutter uncontrollably.

Its scary how she can make me feel all of these things; it's a little cheesy too. Some people have described to me how they feel when they kiss "the love of their life" and I used to laugh and say that "there is no way one person can make you feel like that," but now I take it back. No other kiss has made me feel this way, not even with Effy.

Apparently love does have a bright side and I'm glad to say that I'm finally experiencing it. I've realised that I'm more likely to get hurt by being insecure than anything else. Sure, love and relationships can suck at times but the rest of the time, it's amazing.

We break away from the kiss but not from each other. I rest my forehead against Naomi's and I can't stop myself from smiling at her as I gaze into my favourite blue eyes. Her returned smile makes my whole body tingle with adoration and pleasure. Its moments like this that I wish I could stay in forever.

"I love you." Naomi whispers and I close my eyes to savour the sweet sound. Hearing those three words is incredible and they sound even better coming from her mouth.

"I know." I reply softly and peck her lips.

"You better find Cook before he leaves with some other girl." We laugh and I pull her into my body, I wish that I didn't have to leave her but I owe it to Cook to stay with him tonight, he's still my friend after all.

"What are you going to do?" I ask as I tuck a strand of blonde hair behind Naomi's ear. I smile when I feel her shudder as my fingers brush against her skin.

"Mm, I should probably head home." Damn you Cook, you better appreciate me after this.

"You should go and find Freds and Effy; I don't want you walking back by yourself."

"Ooh, getting protective of me Ems?" Naomi wiggles her eyebrows and grins cheekily.

"Shut up." I giggle and kiss her again.

Naomi links our hands together and we walk hand in hand into the club, a few people stare at us so I flip them off, nosey bastards. I spot Cook sitting at the bar by himself; I know it's him because of his grubby top and his scruffy hair which is a bit longer than usual. I look up at Naomi and she kisses my lips ever so lightly that I have to question whether I'm imagining it or not but I soon get my answer when she forcefully crushes our lips together and I can't help but moan into her mouth.

She gives me a quick, passionate kiss and then her lips are suddenly gone, I open my eyes in confusion and see Naomi walking off, throwing me a cheeky smile over her shoulder. Oh she is so going to pay for that tomorrow!

I continue to make my way towards the bar and I sit down next to Cook, he doesn't have to look up to know that it's me.

"Why aren't you shagging your girlfriend?" He mutters bluntly, I don't reply straight away, instead I grab the bottle from his hands and pour the liquid into my mouth.

"She's not my girlfriend yet and I could be shagging her but instead I'm here with your sorry ass so you better appreciate it." I smile at him when he looks up to meet my eyes. What I really mean is "I want to be here with you because we're friends and Naomi understands that" but I don't have to tell Cook because he already knows. He smiles back and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Thanks Emily." I lean into his side and we stay like it for a while, we ignore the questioning stares and the irritating squeals from drunken girls, the silence is comfortable and the light stroking on my arm is friendly. I wish everything could be as easy as this.

"I do appreciate this Em, but don't ever expect me to drop a potential shag for you." I laugh and hit him playfully. Really he would drop a shag for me but he's too cool to say it, I don't mind though because Cook's words hold secret messages and I'm able to read them.

"Everything will be okay." I don't know whether I'm trying to reassure Cook or myself, maybe the both of us, we need it.

"I hope so kid. Let's get going."

**

**Let me know what you think guys, one chapter left now I think.**

**You guys are seriously so awesome, I love you all :)**


	15. Its not too late, It's never too late

**Right so I haven't updated in a while due to problems at home and personal feelings that have clouded my mind and stopped me from writing. This chapter isn't the final; I think there is one chapter left, possibly two. The only problem is, is I'm going away for a while and I won't have the internet for a week or so. But hopefully my mind will be clearer and therefore I'll be able to write the chapters and update when I get the internet. I know I'm really sorry but hey, life is shit at times so I'm doing what I can to fix it :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll miss you all! I hope to come back with something decent for you all! I love you!**

**

I wake up surprisingly early considering I've had shit all sleep and the only problem I have is a monstrosity of a headache. It's easily cured though, a quick shower and some pain killers and I'm good to go.

Cook is still asleep bless him, the lazy fucker. I shake him awake and push him towards the bathroom; he's in desperate need for a shower. Once he's in, I attempt to search for something vaguely clean for him to wear and I have to laugh when I open up his drawers and find plenty of clean tops, trousers and boxers. Jesus, and there was me thinking that he couldn't possibly get any lazier.

I lay his clothes out on his bed and find something for me to wear, I settle for a black skirt and a grey tank top, I just hope it's as warm outside as it looks. I dry my hair and leave it hanging down on my shoulders, it's slightly shorter when it's not straightened but I left my straightners at Freddie's. Oh well, it looks good wavy.

By the time Cook gets out of the shower and has changed, I've made us both coffee and placed two tablets next to his cup. He mutters a "thanks," takes the tablets and downs his drink. He's always cranky in the mornings, especially if he gets woken up. Poor thing, it takes a lot for him to function without alcohol or drugs in his system.

"Fuck, why did you wake me up? What time is it?" He grumbles as he sits next to me on the sofa and rubs his eyes. I look at my watch and smirk; he's so going to hate me.

"It's just gone eleven and because we're going to Freddie's." Cook looks up at me with wide eyes and I struggle to keep a straight face.

"Like fuck am I, I'm going back to bed." He stands up but I grab his wrist before he can walk off and I pull back down.

I reach over the arm of the sofa and pick up a metal tin with a cannabis leaf sticker stuck across it; I open it and pull out one of the spliffs.

I know, I know, today is supposed to be my sober day but if I'm honest I'm a little nervous about everything that I have to do today. See Freddie, see Naomi and go home to attempt sorting everything out, so I think I'm entitled to at least one spliff.

Cook doesn't complain once the spliff is lit and we smoke in silence so that we can enjoy the delightful effects of the weed. I feel so comfortable that I contemplate just staying here but I know that I have to go.

After making sure that I have all of my stuff, we make our way to the nearest bus stop and get the quickest route to Freddie's, it doesn't take long to walk there but we're just too tired to do so.

We don't talk whilst we wait for the bus, or whilst we're on the bus or whilst we walk the short distance to Freddie's. It's not because we're too tired to talk, it's because we're thinking over what we're going to say. It was a waste of time really because as soon as I'm standing outside of the shed, everything that I had thought of saying is forgotten. I shouldn't be this nervous, I mean me and Freddie are cool now.

I take a deep breath and push open the shed door, my nerves aren't going to get me anywhere so it's better to face the music now rather than later.

Freddie's not in the shed, he never does sleep in here unless I stay round so I send him a text telling him to come down. I slip my phone back into my bag and drop it on the floor, Cook has already made himself at home in one of the chairs but I wonder around and take in my surroundings. I can't help but smile at how everything looks the same; it doesn't need to change though as its comfortable. It's a lot cleaner since I started staying here, I helped Freddie to clean everything and I refused to allow him to keep the (god knows how old) bottles of piss lying around. Freddie never complained though, I think he appreciated it in a way and now he always makes sure to keep it clean and tidy. Now seriously, how many guys would do that for a girl that they aren't even sleeping with? Not many, that's for sure.

I'm still standing when Freddie enters the shed wearing his disgusting yellow jogging bottoms (I've tried so many times to get him to burn them but he refuses to) and a baggy white vest top. His hair is all over the places and his eyes are red from tiredness but he still manages a bright smile when he sees me. He steps forward to hug me but he stops when he sees what I presume is Cook lounging around in the chair.

"What's he doing here?" Freddie asks groggily and rubs his eyes as if he thinks he's seeing things. Cook shows no signs of answering which makes me roll my eyes; god boys can be so stubborn sometimes.

"He's here so you guys can sort this shit out." I reply straightforwardly, I cross my arms over my chest and purse my lips, challenging Freddie to kick up a fuss. He doesn't, just nods his heads and moves past me so he can sit down. Good boy.

I sit down next to Freddie on the sofa and the awkward silence perseveres. I find myself doing things like twiddling my thumbs or playing with my hair just to keep my mind at bay. Neither Freddie nor Cook has said a word within the twenty minutes that we've been here, Freddie's too busy staring off into oblivion and Cook seems to find his shoes more interesting than us. I've sighed and cleared my throat louder than normal but they remain unaffected, they haven't even flinched. It's like they are in a fucking trance or something.

"Fuck sake." I mumble and push myself up from my seat. I cross the room and pick up my bag that I left near the door. I bring it back to the sofa and I pull out the metal tin that contains the spliffs. I light up and take a couple of long drags; I hold the smoke in my lungs for a few seconds to add to the effect before breathing it out. I love its instant wave of calm that washes over me and relaxes all of my nerves.

I pass it to Freddie who takes it eagerly and smokes much more of it than I did, I know it's because he wants to kill some of the tension and hopefully if we're all toasted it won't be so bad.

"Cook" Cook's head snaps to the side as Freddie mutters his name. His wide eyes flick from Freddie's face to the spliff that is delicately held between his fingers.

"Cheers" he mutters back and takes it.

We continue to pass the spliff between the three of us; it doesn't take long for the smoke to cloud the room but the tension slowly starts to lessen, we're still sat in silence but at least now it feels comfortable. I sigh contently and snuggle into the cushions on the sofa, Freddie smiles at me and slips his hand over my knee to squeeze it gently, I smile back at him. This time I can't blame it on the weed for feeling relaxed, I can feel happiness niggling inside of me and the only thing I can blame it on is being back here in the shed, being back to a place that feels sort of like home and the comfortable feeling within it. I love this place, it may not be much but when I'm with my best friend, it feels like a fucking palace that I never want to leave. Freddie squeezes my knee again in a silent agreement. I look away from him to the curious eyes of Cook that I felt were watching me.

"If you weren't gay, you two would make a surprisingly good couple." Cook states. Freddie and I look at each other with the same puzzled expression and simultaneously we burst out laughing. Cook joins in a second later and it feels right for us all to be doing so. Our laughter eventually calms and we fall back into a comfortable silence with smiles on our faces.

"Speaking of couples, guess who has a girlfriend?" Freddie grins and looks between us. Cook is the one to ask who as I'm smoking the last of the spliff.

"JJ!" Freddie exclaims. I choke on the smoke that I was holding in my lungs and Cook howls with laughter.

"Fuck me are you serious? GayJ has a bird?" Cook continues to laugh and clap his hands even without an answer.

"Who?" I manage to ask in between each cough, the force of them causes my eyes to water and my chest to ache. Freddie rubs my back sympathetically.

"Dunno, some girl called Lara that he works with."

"JJ has a job?" Cook and I ask at the same time as the laughter suddenly stops and the conversation turns serious.

"Yeah, has done for a while apparently. I only found out last week." Freddie admits sadly. He and Cook glance at each other with the same look of guilt in their eyes. It's a moment of theirs that I don't want to intrude on, I may not share the same feelings as them but I know exactly what it means. It means that they are both feeling guilty about JJ, neither of them has been there for him and now they don't even know what's going on in their best friends' life. JJ has a job, a girlfriend and new friends, it must be weird for Cook and Freddie because they've been used to JJ depending on them, and JJ never had anyone apart from them. Cook and Freddie pushed him away whilst they spent the better part of last year fighting over the same girl but JJ has the better outcome whilst they don't have anything. Well, Freddie has finally got Effy but Cook has nothing, apart from us which is why they have to sort things out so that we can all be friends and make amends.

"You'll sort it out, you guys are like brothers." I say reassuringly and both Freddie and Cook look at me. Freddie's lips curl ever so slightly into a smile.

"I hope so." He replies and looks towards Cook who smiles and nods.

I watch them with a huge smile on my face, to see them interacting without trying to beat each other up is great. I know I might have once wished for Freddie to beat the crap out of Cook but people can change and sometimes people are just hidden beneath a mask. Cook, well he was hidden but has also changed. He's now trying to break out from beneath his mask and start afresh, he knows that Effy doesn't love him and he's finally come to terms with it. He doesn't hate Freddie for it either, he doesn't think that Freddie has stolen his girl from him because he knows that it wasn't intentional, it wasn't their fault that they fell for the same girl and I know that he regrets allowing it to ruin his friendship with Freddie and also JJ.

A year ago, I couldn't stand Cook and I wouldn't have given him the time of day because I thought that that was the real him. I can say that I wish I had given him a chance sooner but in fact, I'm glad that I didn't because we have both had the time to mature. Seeing Cook now has really made me realise that people can be so easily judged and people can be so easily judgemental, so I'm glad that he has finally shown me that people can change if they want to. I know that it still pains Cook to see Effy, especially knowing that she used him and loves his best friend but I know that he cares for her and Freddie enough to allow them to be happy together. Its sweet and it shows that he is a better person than me because I want to be happy for Freddie but at the same time I still feel bitter about it. But that's only because she's caused so much damage and pain and I don't want it to happen again, but as I said – people can change and I can at least give her a chance. If she fucks it up then it gives me more rights to kick her ass for everything that she's done, and for now all I can do is try to push away the past. It's time to move on.

Right now everything is far from perfect, but at least it's a start.

**

**Sorry that it's quite short but I wanted to give you an update before I go away tomorrow. I hope it's alright, if it's not then I apologise again haha. Blame my head, it's pretty much full of shit at the moment ;D**

**However, I would love to know what you all think because your thoughts are important to me!**

**I love you all!**


	16. The Ugly Truth

**Long time no update! I know, I know it's been ages since I've updated. I've had a lot of shit going on and my mind was far too blocked for me to be able to write. Seriously I read the original copy of this chapter and I had to rewrite it, it was dreadful haha. But I'm quite pleased with this chapter and I hope that you all will be as well :)**

**As you know there isn't much left of this story, originally this was going to be the last chapter but I'm going to break it up so there might possibly be two or three chapters left. Not quite sure yet.**

**Anyway, sorry for ranting, thank you for all being so awesome and I hope that you enjoy this :)**

"Will you be alright?" Freddie asks as he walks me out to the front of his house. It's been over two hours since Cook and I arrived at his shed but in the past twenty minutes I've had several texts from Katie, all of them telling me to "get my lezza ass home." She can be lovely when she wants to be. Anyway, I've decided that it's probably best for me to leave now rather than later, I wouldn't want Katie to burst a blood vessel or break a finger nail or anything.

"Yeah I should be, I'm just glad that Katie's on my side for once." I reply as I think of facing my mother alone and I literally shudder at the thought.

"Yeah I wouldn't be surprised if Jenna tries to skin you alive." Freddie chuckles and I scowl at him, it's easy enough for him to joke about my mum killing me but I wouldn't be surprised if she did try, she can be a right stressy cow when she wants to be.

"Thanks for the confidence boost." I mutter miserably.

"You'll be fine; your mum isn't that bad." Freddie emphasises the "that" and laughs sarcastically. I punch his arm forcefully but it only makes him laugh harder, cruel bastard, at least someone is able to find the humour in my misery.

"Shut up Freds. Will you be alright on your own with Cook?" Freddie and Cook are going to try and patch things up whilst I attempt to sort things out at home. Things are getting too far out of hand and we know that we have to try and fix them before it all fucks up completely. It's only a matter of time before the ticking bomb explodes and I'd rather try and defuse it than be caught in amongst its blast.

"Probably, I'll text you if he tries ripping my head off." He smiles down at me and wraps his slender arms around my waist. I cling to his embrace as I've missed it dearly and I'm scared that if I let him go then everything will fall to pieces again, but the way he squeezes me seems to make all them thoughts disappear. There is nothing more comforting than knowing that your best friend loves you and forgives you for all the shitty little things that have gone wrong.

That's how friendships are supposed to be, especially ours. What we have is special and I've been bloody selfish for even considering throwing it all away. I really don't know what I'd do without Freddie, he's my rock, my olive skinned rock.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I can hear the genuine concern in his voice and its things like that that makes me love him so much. He always wants to help me in any situation but even more so when it involves my family, he knows how capable they are at upsetting me. The thought of him being there with me is tempting but I know I have to do this by myself for once, so I shake my head.

"No, that'd only piss my mum of more." I sigh sadly; I really am going to be in the shit with my parents.

"That's exactly why I should come." Freddie grins mischievously and I can't help but giggle. I've missed this.

"Ems just stop worrying about what your mum thinks of you. She may not like the idea of you being gay but she'll come around, she just needs time and she needs your support as much as you need hers. She still loves you and that's what's important." Freddie squeezes my shoulder supportively, drops a kiss on my forehead and walks away in the direction of the shed. He throws a smile over his shoulder when he reaches the door and disappears inside, leaving me standing on the side of the road gob smacked.

For Freddie to say something about my mum that isn't "she's a complete bitch" is a pretty big surprise for me, but it makes sense. I'm sick of us bloody arguing all the time; I just want my mum back.

I adjust the strap on my bag and set off towards home with a bundle of rampaging butterflies in my stomach. I've never understood why they describe nerves as butterflies, it's not a fluttering feeling, it's more like an annoying fucking niggling that makes you feel sick. Although I can't really complain since I use the definition myself, but you get my point.

I gaze up at the cloudy blue sky several times on my way back, it looks miserable but the muggy heat is certainly pleasant, even if it is a little unbearable, I welcome it more than I do the cold.

It's not a long walk, but my usual reaction when my house comes into view is to slow down to a snail pace so that it takes me twice as long to reach it, only this time it doesn't kick in until I'm standing mere steps away from my front door. A voice in the back of my mind screams at me to turn around and run the fuck away, it's fucking tempting to be honest but I manage to fix my feet to the ground so that I can't move. I end up just glaring at the front door, hoping that it might magically grow feet and run away from me instead.

Is it normal to be this fucking scared of returning home?

I feel like a tiny mouse that has no choice but to run for its life in fear of becoming breakfast as it steps into a field full of ravenous hawks. Okay so my parents aren't actually going to eat me but I still feel like screaming and running whilst flailing my arms in the air. That might be amusing to some but I'm currently fucking bricking it.

Its only until I heave a heavy breath to try and calm myself that I realise I'm squeezing my phone incredibly tight in my hand, I had taken it out in attempt to text Naomi but my thoughts kind of distracted me. I swap my phone to my left hand and flex my right, it tingles sharply in protest to the sudden change but it fades after a couple of seconds and I go back to the text that I should have written ten minutes ago.

'_I'm standing on hells doorstep, if I don't make it then remember that I love you…'_

Whoa, I love you? Where the fuck did that come from? Man, this girl is turning me soft.

'_I'm standing on hells doorstep, I'm scared :/ xo'_

I know I like Naomi, I like her a lot…a lot…a fucking lot. The thought of her brings an instant smile to my face, being around her I get that stupid tingly feeling and remembering that I had her in bed, naked might I add, makes me want to…yeah I'm going to stop right there.

Okay, so maybe I do love Naomi. I know I like her more than I should and I certainly know that I like her more than I liked Effy (which says a lot) but I don't know why.

Maybe it's because she's fucking gorgeous, or maybe it's because she's a totally different person to what I thought she was. She's not a sour face bitch, she's sweet, beautiful, caring, sexy…she's Naomi Campbell, the girl that caught my attention and guided me to her bedroom…shit, I mean heart. Yeah, her heart…and bedroom. Fuck I need to stop thinking about her, and luckily enough my phone beeps just in time of my need of distraction.

'_Wait, is your mum going to be dressed in a sexy devil outfit? ;) xxx'_

Ew…well thanks Naomi, that was definitely the sort of distraction I needed but didn't want.

'_Ew, you perve, that's gross! I'm not going to be able to look at her in the same way now xxx'_

Even though my…fuck, I don't even know what Naomi is to me. Is she my girlfriend? Are we just seeing each other? Whatever, even though _my Naomi_ has just said possibly the grossest thing about my mother, my lips still curl up at the ends into a ridiculous cheesy grin that I can't contain.

Naomi Campbell…playful, cheeky, I love the thought of her being like that. Jesus, how is she able to make me feel so stupidly happy all the time?

'_Oh Ems, you know you're the one I want to see in a sexy devil outfit hehe. Be brave xx'_

_Be brave_. The last bit of the text replays in my head, she wants me to be brave. I imagine her in my mind, her pretty face, her crystal blue eyes that twinkle in the light, her long blonde curls that dance in the wind…I can feel my heart literally warm when I imagine her smiling at me.

_Be brave, _her voice echoes in my mind and I somehow find the courage to take a few tentative steps towards the front door. If Naomi wants me to brave then I can be brave.

As I reach the front door, I slip my phone into my bag and stretch my now free hand out towards it; I clasp the handle and let out a shaky breath that sends a tremor through my body. _Be brave._

I pull down the handle and open the door; I step inside to face my fate.

The first thing I notice when I step into the hall way is that nothing's changed, it's still overly clean and tidy. My mum is all about presentation you see, the house has to be spotless every minute of every day just in case someone decides to visit. She cares too much about what people think of her, hence why she hates me being gay.

The second thing I notice is the sound of Lady Gaga blasting from upstairs, typical Katie. I smile when I hear her singing along to the lyrics; it's weird for me to say but its little thing like that, that I've missed.

The third thing is the small boy with curly, sandy blonde hair that appears in front of me by the kitchen door. His face lights up when his eyes finally reach mine (the little perve.)

"Emily!" James cries out as he runs towards me. The strength of his small body crashing into mine almost knocks the air out of my lungs, but I still encase my little brother in my arms. He buries his face into my shoulder as he tightens his hold on me.

Well this is definitely something new, I think me and James have only hugged once or twice in our entire lives, and definitely not like this either. Jesus Christ, I've even missed this pervy little shit.

My heart leaps into my throat when I see my parents standing by the kitchen door where James was standing only seconds ago. They must have heard him shout my name and come to see whether I really was back or not. I quickly divert my eyes to the floor and I give James a squeeze. I hope that my parents didn't see that I saw them, not that it'd make a difference as they are hardly just going to walk away now that I'm back, but hopefully they'll leave it for a while if they see that I'm engrossed in this hug with James. But to my dismay he suddenly pulls away.

"I mean…hi bitch." James says in his usual cheeky way which I'd usually kick the shit out of him for. Dad scolds him from the doorway and James scowls (good thing he's facing me or he'd probably be sent to the naughty bar.) I grin at my little brother and ruffle his hair which causes him to complain again. I'll savour that moment that he wasn't being a usual twat; it's a very rare occasion.

"James, can you go to your room please?" Mum snaps harshly, only it seems to not affect James as he rolls his eyes and turns to face our parents.

"Why?!" He shouts back in protest, I notice his fists clench and I wouldn't be surprised if he started stamping his foot on the floor like a spoiled brat.

"It's either your room or the naughty bar kid, now go!" I smirk at my dad's stern voice. Ah the naughty bar threat, probably the worst punishment ever, even if it has kept me in shape over the years.

I restrain myself from giggling when James stamps up the stairs, cursing and muttering under his breath. He slams his door shut and the force of it causes the whole to shudder.

The silence that comes after is possibly the worst kind of silence. The nerves that had dissipated are slowly beginning to leak back into my stomach and my body begins to tremble ever so slightly. I slowly lift my eyes up to meet my parents and I try to swallow the sickening lump that has formed in my throat.

To say that they look pissed would be an understatement. I really do feel like that mouse right now, I fear that any slight movement will cause them to react and rip me to shreds. I don't know who I'm more afraid of, my dad is pretty intimidating but underneath he's a softy. My mum however, she may have a heart but she's cold through and through. Sometimes I think she'd happily break me down into thousands of little pieces if it meant that she was right, she doesn't like to be proven wrong.

Just as I open my mouth to say something, my dad suddenly strides towards me and engulfs me in one of his tight Fitch hugs.

What I mean by a Fitch hug is that it's a bone breaking, squeeze the air out of your lungs type of hug. It's an embrace that once you've been captured in one, it's impossible to get away. Or at least that's what it's like with our dad. But even so, I'm grateful that he's holding me rather than shouting at me, which if I'm honest, I was expecting. I don't let the surprise get the better of me though as I quickly wrap my arms around my dad's sturdy form. He kisses the top of my head several times before pulling back to look at me properly, the emotion in his eyes are so clear to see, I'm sure that if he allowed himself to, he would cry at any minute. I've never seen my dad cry and seeing him so close to is heartbreaking.

"Don't you ever do that again Emily. We've been worried sick about you." His hands tighten around my shoulders as he glares down at me. Guilt washes over me when I look into his sharp eyes, there's no sign of anger or even disappointment, just concern and a slight twinkle of happiness. I clench my jaw so hard that it begins to ache, but it's the only way I can stop the threatening tears from forming. I didn't want this, I didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not my dad, he's done nothing but love and support me and all I've done is throw it back and run away.

"I'm sorry." I whisper quietly so that no one can hear my voice as I try to fight back the tears. He hears me though and all he does is pull me back into his arms and kisses my forehead. No words are needed as his actions say enough. He forgives me; he just doesn't want me to do it again. I don't want to do it again.

If it wasn't for my mum loudly clearing her throat, I think I could have stayed in the comfort of my dad's arms for hours. We slowly break apart and dad steps to the side so that I can face the devil. With one last supportive squeeze on my shoulder, he quickly leaves the room, leaving me to awkwardly watch my mum as she glowers at me.

I feel my heartbeat quicken as I think of all the possible ways that my mum might react, I'm thinking a slap round the face and an invitation to get the fuck out of her house. She doesn't make a move though, not even when I nervously watch her whilst fiddling with my fingers, it's one of my annoying nervous habits.

I cautiously take a step forward but she shows no sign of moving, she just continues to glare at me. Man, she is seriously mad at me and I don't know what to do.

"Mum…" I plead her desperately and my voice causes her to react.

My head whips to the side from the force of her hand as it comes into contact with my cheek, the harsh sound is the only thing that finally kills the unnerving silence. I hear a small gasp although I'm not sure whether it came from me or her, but my instant reaction is to bring my hand up to cup my now sore cheek. I grit my teeth as a few tears escape from my eyes and cascade down my face, I don't want to cry but I know I need this. The slap was expected so I just have to deal with it.

But that's when I feel her arms wrap around me, I don't question it, I just wrap my arms around her waist and press myself against her. Mum tightens her hold on me as she buries her face into my hair and begins to cry.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry." She whispers and I can hear how broken she really sounds; it only makes me cry more. It's weird, no matter how much your parents upset or piss you off, it's still heartbreaking to see them cry. My mum might be a bitch but she's not one to cry, especially not in front of us. If this situation is destroying her as much as it's destroying me then I understand.

"No mum, I'm sorry, I've been so fucking stupid." I sob into her chest as I inhale the smell of her sweet perfume, it's still so familiar but it feels like nothing more than a distant memory. I used to smell it so frequently that I became accustomed to the smell, but now it brings back so many memories and I realise that it's another thing that I miss.

Mum doesn't reply, instead she continues to hold me and stroke my hair and whisper words of comfort. Eventually the tears calm for both of us but we don't break our embrace.

"Please don't ever do that again." She says softly after a while and I shake my head straight away. I couldn't do it again, even though my family have hurt me in so many ways, I still can't bare the thought of me putting them through pain. Sometimes I would like to but the guilt comes over me far too easily. I know I've hurt them and it makes me feel like shit. I'm so sick and tired of running, it has to stop.

"I hate this," I murmur openly, "I don't want us to be like this."

"Neither do I, Emily." Her reply sounds honest but guilty, like she's finally realised just how seriously pathetic this whole situation is getting. But I'm not sure, I don't want her thinking that just because I've come home that I'm giving into her "you're not gay, you're going through a silly phase" scenario. She has to accept me otherwise there will be no mother daughter relationship left between us. I pull away so that she knows I'm serious.

"Then what are we supposed to do mum? I'm gay, I'm a hundred percent lesbian, and that is never going to change. It's a part of who I am. I hate that we're always fighting over something that I can't control." I felt her stiffen as soon as I said "gay" and "lesbian." It instantly makes me feel like I'm something disgusting. I don't care if anyone else thinks it's disgusting but this is different, I don't want my mum to think of me like that. That's why her next reply surprises me.

"I know sweetheart and I'm sorry. It's just…this is new for me and I don't want you to get hurt." I never expected my mum to apologise for something that she obviously disapproves of but I can't help but roll my eyes. I don't want you to get hurt so instead I'll act like a total cunt towards you and think that it's fine. Yeah, like that's not going to hurt me or anything.

"Anyone is capable of hurting me mum, it's inevitable. Look at you and dad, you guys love each other but I know that you've hurt each other without meaning to." I try to reason with her but she just shakes her head.

"I don't just mean by your partners, I don't want you to get hurt by the people around you, by the ones who don't approve."

"What, you mean like you?" The words slip out of my mouth before I have the chance to stop them, I regret them when I see Mum tense, and she automatically averts her eyes from my face to anything that isn't me. Her shoulders slump as she heaves a sigh.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I stutter quickly. Her eyes flicker back to mine and she gives me a small, sad smile.

"Yes you did Emily, I know you did." I open my mouth to protest but nothing comes to mind. She's right, I did mean it and I have every right to have meant it. She's a hypocrite that would rather fill her head with absurd lies than face the ugly truth.

"I just want you to be happy, that's all I want." She strokes my cheek with her fingers and smiles again.

"But this is the only thing keeping me from being happy, I just want to be a part of this family again without us all hating each other." I finally admit the feeling that I had buried so deep inside of me. I admit that I need my family to keep me strong but I want to be a part of a family that I know I belong in. I try to blink away the tears that have welled up in my eyes but Mum sees them and pulls me into another hug.

"You will always be a part of this family darling. I know I haven't been a good mother recently but when you disappeared…I thought I had lost you." Her voice is so thick with emotion that she has to stop talking. I feel my heart begin to ache with the words I know I'm about to hear, the words that I thought I'd never hear.

"I thought I had lost you for good, no one had any idea where you were and I couldn't help but think that if something happened to you that…that I'd never get to tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of you. I love you so much, you're my daughter and nothing will change that. I couldn't ever forgive myself if something happened to you and I've spent all this time pushing you away over something stupid…" Her voice cracks as a small sob escapes her lips. My throat tautens as I try to fight off another round of tears; it's no use though as they run wild down my cheeks and soaks into my mum's thin top, I clutch her tightly as I bury my face into the material. She sniffles and kisses the top of my head lovingly.

I think this is the first time in so long that I've felt even remotely close to my mum, and fuck me, it's a feeling that I've missed ridiculously. If it wasn't the feud between us about me being gay, then it was being compared to Katie as she danced around in the fucking spotlight. Don't get me wrong, I love Katie with all of my heart and we've both grown up a lot recently but she did cause a lot of shit for me when I was constantly stuck within her leopard print shadow.

Although all of this shit has caused an unbelievable amount of damage and pain, I think it's finally worked its magic. Maybe it's time to start afresh and let go of the past. Maybe…if life would be ever so kind to not be a prick for once.

"I love you." I whisper as I snuggle deeper into her embrace, feeling like a small child all over again.

"I know baby, I love you so much." She kisses my hair and comfortingly strokes my back.

So many things have been left unsaid; so many problems need to be resolved and so many bridges need to be rebuilt. Some things may not ever be the same again, it's all far from perfect, but for now it's a start and I wouldn't have it any other way.

**And that's chapter 16 for you! Please let me know what you think of it, good or bad, I honestly don't mind :)**

**I'm not going to give you a date for when the next update will be as it all depends on whether my mind will allow me to write or not but I shall try my hardest.**

**I give you all my love as you've all been amazing. I hope you enjoy this chapter so please drop a review just to let me know!**


	17. The Not So Perfect Everything

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and added this story to their alerts and favourites. It really means a lot to me :)**

**So I'm not too keen on this chapter but if you all like it then I'm happy, I'm writing the next chapter now so I'll try and get that up in the next few days.**

**Please let me know what you think of this, whether you liked it or not, and I hope you enjoy :)**

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With a mug of steaming hot coffee in my hand, I'm finally beginning to feel a bit more positive about everything. Jenna Fitch, probably the scariest woman alive was cracked by me – her daughter. Usually I wouldn't be proud of something like that but I am, simply because it shows that she actually cares about me.

We're sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, there's a comfortable atmosphere as we sit in silence, occasionally sipping the drinks in front of us. For once we're not glaring at each other as we try to think of something to say that will piss each other off, and when we do occasionally make eye contact; we exchange small, genuine smiles.

I know that it should feel more comfortable between us, but that would be pushing it. If everything was suddenly all hunky dory then something would be seriously wrong. But no, I like this shy atmosphere because it finally means we're starting afresh, we're finally getting over this stupid stage of trying to hate each other and setting aside our differences. At the end of the day, we're still mother and daughter and nothing else should matter.

We've managed to come to some form of agreement. She still isn't keen on the idea of me being gay but it's something that neither of us can change. As long as I don't keep rubbing it in her face and trying to piss her off by deliberately talking about having wild lesbian sex with some girl, then she'll stop trying to convince me to turn straight. I have to say that it's a fair trade; I know I haven't been helping the situation at all but that's a part of my arrogance, something that I picked up from both mum and Katie.

I'm glad we've finally reached a level of understanding in our relationship – the more we try to change each others opinions, the more stubborn we will get, which therefore causes us to act out in the least sensible ways.

I'm not usually a person who can be reasoned with, if you don't like that I'm gay then it's no loss of mine. I think that's what made a difference though because for once, there is a loss, an important one at that. Yes, my mum is a bitch – I think we've established that, but she isn't just going to stop, just like I'm not going to stop being gay because it's something that can't be changed. Mum understands that now, sure she has her doubts but as long as she keeps them to herself then there shouldn't be a problem. There will always be a small line of tension between us but I think I can live with that.

I push my cup along the wooden table in front of me as I try to think of something to say. Not that it's necessary but it'd be nice for us not to be sat around in constant silence.

James is still up in his bedroom, probably grumbling about how unfair everyone is to him. Dad hasn't reappeared since he left the room earlier on, although I don't blame him, if he expects me and mum to argue as bad as we have done in the past then he probably won't return for a good while yet.

And that's when I realise that I haven't seen Katie since I arrived, it's very unlike her to keep herself locked away in the bedroom.

"Where's Katie?" My sudden question seems to take my mum by surprise. She looks up at me, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion but it fades when she finally registers my question.

"She's in her room, she hardly leaves it anymore." I can hear the worry in her voice and by instinct, I begin to worry too. Katie never stays in our room for a long period of time, not even when she's ill, she hates being secluded. The most time Katie will spend in our room is when she's slapping on a new face so she can go out, she won't even sleep here if she can find some way of avoiding it. This is serious, almost as serious as the time that she lost her favourite lip gloss and refused to leave the room without it.

Oh Katie, what have you lost this time?

"I'm going to go and check on her." I declare as I stand and push my chair away. Mum doesn't reply, just nods and goes back to staring at the bottom of her cup, almost as though she's hoping it'll give her some answers.

I take a second to look at her, I mean to really look. To my horror, I realise how much frailer she looks compared to the last time I saw her. She looks gaunt and older; she also looks skinnier (which says a fucking lot.) It looks like this whole situation has really taken its toll on her. And right now, as I watch her staring into her cup – she looks lost and small, like a child. It's fucking horrible watching her mentally tear herself apart.

There's only one thing I know to do that might hopefully make her feel better, and that's to walk around the table until I'm standing behind her and wrap my arms tightly around her neck. She grasps my arm and gives it a gentle squeeze – letting me know that she appreciates what I'm trying to do. I sort of wish I could do more, I mean, I am the cause of most of these problems…but what am I supposed to do?

I think that that's a question that will eventually be answered over time. I'll continue to show her that I care and that I want all of these problems to sort out, and I'll do what I can to try and help. For now, all I can do is continue to comfort her, and softly press a kiss onto her dark brown hair.

After a moment, she rubs her hand up and down my arm, silently letting me know that she'll be okay and that it's time for me to go and check on my twin. So I leave her to it and make my way towards the stairs without looking back, because I know that if I do then the guilt will take over and I'll be rushing back to try and cheer her up. But right now, I really need to go and find out what the fuck is going on in the world of Katie Fitch.

As I reach the top of the stairs, my ear drums are literally ringing from the high volume of Katie's music, pretty much every other thought is pushed out of my mind as I listen to Lady Gaga singing about how she likes it rough. She doesn't leave much to the imagination, does she?

I push open the door to our bedroom (which still has that god awful 'Sexy' door hanger on it) and I can't help but smile when I step inside. It's all the same, and I mean exactly the same. My side of the room is tidy, untouched, with several posters of some gorgeous women clinging to the walls. But Katie's side, well it's a complete fucking state as always and she still has all of posters of beefy looking men with their six packs out. I'm pretty surprised that she hasn't taken my pictures off the walls yet, she was always paranoid that people would mistake her as 'the gay one' which is partly why she kicked up such a huge fuss when I first came out.

But the thing that has mostly stayed the same is that Katie is standing in between our beds, leaning towards the chest of drawers as she watches herself in the mirror whilst applying her make up.

I lean against the doorframe, smirking as I continue to watch her. After a few seconds she must sense my presence as she suddenly stops and turns to face me. Her face lights up when our eyes meet, much like James's had.

"About fucking time Ems, I thought you had run away again, you were taking so long." I roll my eyes at Katie's way of acting concerned. She mixes her relief with her usual dose of bitchyness just so that no one can really tell what she's feeling. But as her twin, I've had many years of experience in dealing with her moods and I can pretty much read her easier than an open book.

I don't bother replying until I step further into my old bedroom, I flop down onto my single bed and I swear to god, it actually feels like my duvet has just swallowed me, it's so comfortable! A groan of appreciation slips from my lips as my head hits my pillows. Oh god – I've fucking missed this bed so much, it's unreal. This past week I've occasionally slept in Cook's bed as he was nice enough to give it to me, but the other times, I've pretty much slept wherever I crashed out, which usually means a floor without cushions, duvets or anything. But my bed is so comfortable and welcoming that if I never had to move again, I wouldn't.

After a few seconds of stretching and reminiscing at how comfortable my bed is, I slowly begin to drift of to sleep and a peaceful one too. However, I'm not that lucky to be allowed the luxury of sleep as Katie throws herself onto the end of my bed, and even behind closed eyes, I know she's looking at me expectantly.

I decide to slightly crack open one eye and yup – she's sat cross legged at the end of the bed and waiting to probably bitch at me. I sigh as quietly as I can and push myself up so I'm sat only half way up. It seems good enough for Katie as she suddenly starts fidgeting, which means she's ready for conversation.

"So…have you spoken to mum?" She asks anxiously but it's almost impossible to hear her over the music, so I lean over and snatch the remote for the CD player and put a stop to the fucking racket. Once it's gone, my head finally goes back to its normal state and I'm able to actually think of a reply.

"Yeah, it's not perfect but I think we'll be okay, ya know." Katie beams at the information; she looks so pleased that I wouldn't be surprised if she starts squealing and clapping her hands like a seal.

"So she just let it go? She didn't try giving you a lecture on the wrongs of being a lezza?" She sounds astounded and I shake my head as a smile plays upon my lips.

"Nope, I think she's finally coming to terms with it now. She's still not happy with it, mind you. But I think she's mostly worried that I won't be able to experience marriage and kids like a 'normal' couple." I use my fingers to make quotation marks. Katie laughs and shakes her head, but when her laughter stops, she seems incredibly dull and empty. The worry instantly returns after fading temporarily.

"But you can still have all that. You're lucky to still be able to." Normally I would agree, but Katie's words and cold tone of voice stops me in my tracks.

Still able? Lucky?

"Katie…what the fuck do you mean by that?" My voice portrays almost the same amount of concern as I feel inside of me, but Katie's head snaps up and she frowns at me like she has no idea what I'm on about, but the despair in her eyes tells me different. She tries to cover it but jumping of the bed and attempting to regain herself.

"Nothing, it was just a figure of speech." Katie tries to keep her voice strong but her lisp becomes more obvious when she's trying to refrain from crying. She starts bustling around the room, picking up all of her shit of the floor and throwing it onto her bed. She strives to keep her back to me at all times so that we won't make eye contact. I know she wants me to drop it but…I can't.

"Katie that wasn't a figure of speech, please will you tell me what's going on?" I ask her in the calmest way, hoping that if she realises that I'm only trying to help then she'll confide in me. But she ignores me and continues with her tidying, which is also alarming, because Katie never tidies!

I push myself up from my bed and reach out to touch her arm, but when my skin touches hers, she whirls around and tries to shake me off.

"Just fucking leave it, Emily!" She snarls. Normally when Katie snaps at me for trying to help, I'd tell her to fuck off and storm out of the room. But not this time, not when she suddenly collapses into my arms and begins sobbing heavily.

It comes as such a shock that for a moment, I don't even know how to react, but a second later I don't hesitate at wrapping my arms around her protectively. Her whole body trembles uncontrollably as she cries into my shoulder, a heavy flow of tears fall upon my bare skin and trickle down until they soak into the material of my strap top.

I don't say anything for a while as I wait for her to calm down; instead I rub my hand comfortingly up and down her back so that she knows I'm here for her. But even after a while, Katie hasn't calmed in the slightest. I pull away so that I can look her in the eye.

"Katie, please will you tell me what's wrong?" I look into my older sisters deep brown eyes that are identical to mine. They glisten with plenty of unshed tears and I can see the pain that is buried deep within them. She looks so vulnerable and easy to break, it's as though she might fall to pieces at any second. It fucking terrifies me to see her like this; I don't think I've ever seen Katie cry like this before, not even over a guy!

Something's wrong, I mean seriously fucking wrong…I can feel it.

"I can't have kids. I went to the doctors and they said that there's nothing they can do."

I think every other expression fell of my face right then, all apart from shock. This is insane, I know I said that there's something really wrong – but this? No, no it's impossible. I don't even know what to say, I seem to have a fucking word block on my throat. Katie's staring at me with nothing but pain and sadness in her eyes and I have no idea on what to say. I can't even think of a way to try and comfort her, but I need to say something!

"But there are pills for that right?" Wait – what kind of a fucking question is that? Of course there isn't! Come on Emily. I'm supposed to be the fucking smart twin; I should be able to think of something that isn't completely idiotic.

I open my mouth to say something else but Katie shakes her head. I should know that isn't anything that I can say; I mean it's not going to change anything. The damage is already done, literally.

I pull Katie back into my arms as the tears silently creep down her flushed cheeks. She clings to my embrace, desperately holding me like she's afraid to let go.

I don't know what made those four words harder to hear than any others. Maybe it's because I could hear the deafening pain in Katie's quiet voice. Maybe it's because I could literally feel her heart shatter as she said the four words that brought all of her dreams crashing down. People say that if something happens to one twin, the other will feel it. Before now I would have laughed and called them an idiot, but right now I finally understand the meaning behind that story. I feel like I'm sharing the same heart ache as Katie, I feel as though someone has given me this body only for it to not function properly.

I myself have never wanted kids. Maybe some day in the future I might consider it. But Katie, well kids have always been a part of her dream. The perfect life – that's what she's wanted since she was a kid. She wanted a gorgeous boyfriend, a huge fancy wedding and kids – two girls and one boy. She wanted the perfect everything. But she's changed in a way that might ruin those dreams forever.

I lay Katie down on her bed as she continues to silent weep. I pull back the duvet and shuffle beside her, I drape it back over our bodies and I wrap her in my arms again. Right now, I want to do nothing more than protect her, to keep her shielded away from the rest of the world as she falls apart in my arms.

This is my sister, the other half of me, the one person who probably knows me better than anyone, even Freddie. Seeing her in this state makes my eyes fill with painful tears, my throat feels like its being ripped to shreds as I try to stop the lump from forming. My heart is beating manically within my chest as I hold Katie close, kissing her forehead gently in attempt to comfort her.

"I love you." I breathe into her hair and I feel her slightly smile against my neck.

"I love you too, I'm glad you're back." Katie's honesty causes the tears to escape. We may fight a lot but we'll always have the special bond that we've had since we we're little.

"Me too, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." I kiss her hair and we fall into a silence as we cry against each other. I'm not going anywhere, not now. Katie needs me and that's all that matters right now.

It doesn't take long for the emotions to wear us out. We fall asleep still wrapped up in each other with tear streaked faces. I'll continue to protect Katie, even if I have to do it for the rest of my life. I'll stay with her forever.

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I don't know how long we fell asleep for, but Katie isn't next to me when I wake up. My groggy eyes slowly open and I brace myself for the light that's about to blind me. It still hurts when it finally hits though, bracing myself is pretty pointless against the evilness of daylight.

I stretch out on the bed, content with the feeling of a decent sleep on somewhere that isn't beyond uncomfortable. I let out a small sigh of relief before all of my earlier thoughts come rushing back.

_I can't have kids._ Katie's broken voice haunts my mind and the previous pain comes over me again. She can't have kids; she can't have one of the things that she's always fucking wanted. I wish that I could swap our bodies so that she can have kids instead, but I can't and I hate it, I feel so fucking useless.

Katie would be a good mum, I've always said that, and I've always liked the idea of being an aunt. Tears sting my eyes again as I think of how devastated Katie must be feeling. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone but it makes me sick to think of some of the people in this world that don't appreciate being parents, and the parents that couldn't care less about their children, but then there are people like Katie who would give anything for even the slightest chance of being a parent. It makes me feel guilty, I have a body that (as far as I'm aware) works properly and I might not even ever have kids. It's fucked, it's seriously fucked up.

I allow the tears to drip down my face as I dwell in the thoughts of Katie's pain. I would honestly give anything to change this for her. And I hope she knows that. It now makes sense why Katie has been locking herself in this room. She didn't want to leave it because she doesn't feel right about herself, and this is something that can't be covered up with make up, leopard print clothes and high heels.

Shit, how long has Katie known?

Another wave of stomach twisting guilt sweeps over me and I think of Katie dealing with all this by herself. She doesn't ever talk to anyone about her problems, I'm the only person she does talk to and I've been too wrapped up in my own selfish problems. She won't talk to mum, not even if she did spare five minutes to listen, and it's hardly something that she'd feel comfortable talking to dad about. So she's had no one.

"For fuck sake." I sigh as I rake my fingers through my hair. I really fucking hate myself sometimes.

I hastily brush away the tears when I hear someone coming up the stairs. I know who it is even before Katie comes flying through the door, looking a lot happier than she did earlier.

"Someone's at the door for you." She smiles at me when I sit up, exposing myself to more light and revealing to Katie that I've been crying.

"Who is it?" I mumble sleepily whilst rubbing my eyes in a pitiful attempt to hide the signs of my crying. I think it works as Katie doesn't say anything.

"Dunno, Dad just told me to get you." She plops herself down on the end of her bed just as I get up. I cross the room to where my chest of drawers are, pulling open one of the drawers so that I can change out of my skirt and I settle for my denim blue skinny jeans.

Just as I'm about to leave the room, I remember the promise that I made to Katie and I hesitate. I have no idea who might be at the door for me but I'm willing to just ignore it if Katie needs me, but when I turn back towards her with uncertainty, she just smiles at me again.

"Go, I'll be fine. I have coursework to do anyway." I give her a slight smile before walking forwards and enveloping her in a hug. She squeezes me and pulls away.

"And stop crying about it too, I'll get through it." We smile at each other again and share another quick hug. She'll be okay, and even if she isn't, I'll be here to help her along the way.

I quickly make my way to the front door, taking each stair with a slight bounce in my step. I pull open the front door and I'm taken aback at the sight of the person stood before me.

"Naomi?"

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**There's chapter 17 for you all. Chapter 18 is on the way and should be up within the next few days. It's sad to say that it's the last chapter of Mistaken Judgement :(**

**I really have loved writing this story, I've loved it even more so knowing that you guys have been enjoying it. I'm sorry that I haven't updated as quickly and often as others, I will try more in the future though :)**

**Anyway, please review and let me know what you think of this. I love each and every one of you! **


	18. The Only One In Colour

**Thanks for the reviews again guys! Seriously they make me smile and I love them so much! :D**

**So it turns out that this isn't actually the last chapter! What I have planned is much too long to fit into one chapter, so the next one could be the last depending on whether or not I put it into two parts. So yay for more chapters :)**

**I hope you enjoy this guys!**

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_Naomi's POV._

"Naomi?"

Emily's face is contorted with confusion when she pulls open the front door and sees me standing in front of her. Confused, not disappointed, it's so adorable that I can't stop myself from smiling at her, and soon enough the confusion fades and she flashes me one of her breathtaking smiles. I take a small step closer to her and that's when I notice her red, puffy eyes and her slightly flushed cheeks. I feel my heart twist slightly, she's been crying.

"Emily what's wrong?" I ask seriously, every other emotion flies out of me as concern takes over. All I want to do is to pull the beautiful red head into my arms and kiss away the tears, even if they have already disappeared.

Emily's instantly starts rubbing her eyes but she continues to smile at me. She doesn't want me to see her upset so she's trying to hide it from me. It's her family; her fucking family are hurting her again.

"What did they do Ems? I swear to god I will kick their asses." My protective side slips out and wraps itself around the small girl in front of me. I take another step towards her and try to look into the overly posh looking house; I hope I see the culprit so that I can put them straight. They've been hurting Emily for far too long and I'm not standing for it.

To my surprise, Emily starts giggling and shaking her head at me. I look at her with a confused expression that I know my face is currently wearing, but hearing her gorgeous laugh is like hearing my favourite song, only better and instead of wanting to sing along, I want to join in. Her laugh is contagious and I find myself laughing with her.

"No they didn't do anything. We've just been talking about stuff." Emily rubs her eyes again before reaching out to slip her arms around my waist and rests her head upon my chest. My heart skips a beat at the feel of her petite form pressed against mine. I let out a small sigh of relief; every time she's close to me it feels just as amazing as the time before. I swear I could live in one moment forever if it means I could have Emily Fitch in my arms.

I nuzzle her beautifully soft red hair, indulging in the smell of her sweet shampoo which intoxicates my senses, I honestly think I'd quite happily drown in her smell, it drives me insane. Emily snuggles into my chest as I rub one hand up and down her back and gently playing with each strand of her hair with the other.

I hope she can't hear how fucking fast my heart is beating. The sight of her, the feel and smell of her is making my senses flare. I just want to lift her up into my arms and run away so that I can have her all to myself and devour her. It's insatiable, I know but that's what Emily brings out in me.

I continuously want to pinch myself to see whether I'm dreaming or not, it's childish but it wouldn't be the first time that I've dreamt of the little Fitch. It still amazes me that a girl like Emily could possibly like someone like me, especially since I haven't really treated her all that well in the past.

This is where it stops though. No more running or being a bitch, I'm so fucking lucky to even have Emily in my life, let alone my arms, and there is no way I'm going to risk losing her again.

"What are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?" She doesn't sound annoyed, just generally curious. Which I'm glad about because that means that I haven't just turned up at possibly the worst time, but telling Emily the real reason as to why I'm standing outside her front door makes a blush creep upon my cheeks.

"Well…I hadn't heard anything from you in a while and I got worried, so I text Freddie for your address." It's not a complete lie, but the real reason is that I missed her so fucking much and I couldn't wait any longer to see her. I think Emily can see straight through me though as she smiles at me with an adoring look in her pretty brown eyes. I can feel my blush deepen and I'm forced to look away, but Emily gently takes my chin between her thumb and forefinger and lifts my face back up to hers, her beautiful smiles makes my breath hitch as she leans in towards me, closing the short space between us as she lightly brings our lips together.

I swear my heart literally just back flipped, every inch of my body now feels like its on fire. When it involves Emily, even the simplest thing can make me feel so alive. It's sickening how crazy I am about her, but I don't care anymore because being with this girl is so much better than not being with her.

My eyes flutter closed when Emily parts my lips with hers, her hot breath pours into my mouth and it sends my head spinning in every direction, I have to keep a firm hold on her waist just so that I won't fall over. I think if I even let her go for a second, I'd fall to the floor, dazed and grinning like a complete love struck fool.

There's nothing sexual about it, it's a slow, delicate kiss that holds so much passion. It's beautiful even without her gorgeous tongue stuck down my throat. It causes my heart to beat so fast that I'm scared that it might burst at any second, especially as Emily curls her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her. A soft moan rumbles in her throat which causes me to smirk in satisfaction, Emily giggles and pulls away from the kiss, much to my disappointment. I rest my forehead against hers and I can't stop myself from smiling down at my red headed beauty, having her in my arms makes everything seem so much better, it's such an amazing feeling that I never want to lose. As I've said before – I never once thought that it could feel this good.

Emily retracts one of her arms from around my neck and brings her hand down to my cheek; she gently strokes each of her fingers down my skin before curling her hand to cup my cheek. I place my hand over her small one and I hold it against my face, cherishing the warmth and feel of her skin on mine.

'_The people who make us happy are never the people we expect. So when you find someone, you've got to cherish it.'_

Those were the wise words from my mother, she found me crying my little heart out the day that Emily ran away. She knows everything; she pretty much figured it all out before I even told her. She also smacked me round the back of the head for, and I quote "Letting such a sweet girl get away when I'm so obviously crazy about her."

I didn't complain though, I wanted to do more to myself than just a smack to my head. I wanted someone to hit me, scream at me and tell me what a complete dickhead I was for letting her go. But instead I got my mother and her wisdom, she may not have literally called me a dickhead, but it was as good as.

My mum, crazy as she is, is one of the few people who can actually get inside my head, and she's one of the few who I will actually allow to get into my head, even if it does get annoying at times. She makes sense though; so much fucking sense and I know it's because of her own experiences. My dad is a wanker and just left because he clearly didn't want to stand up to the responsibilities of being a decent boyfriend and father. I don't care anymore though; I did as a child because I didn't know any better.

Oh and as for my mum having cancer, luckily enough that was just a scare, the tests came back as negative. As much as it tore me up inside to think that my mother might have possibly been dying, I think I always knew that she wouldn't be. My mum is strong, hard headed, like me and I'm proud to say that I inherited that from her. She's kicked my ass into gear so many times and at the end of the day, she's always been right and I never regret taking in her words, especially not when they gave me the courage to get Emily back.

"I'm so glad you're here." Emily whispers as she gazes into my eyes and I feel my heart swell with adoration. I must look like some kind of love sick puppy right now, I'm good at lying and I'm good at hiding my feelings, but my eyes always give me away, they always project so much emotion and I'm not even bothering to try and hide my feelings from Emily right now.

She doesn't seem to mind though as her smile hasn't faltered since she started. I can't help but notice that there's something different about her right now, she looks genuinely happy, like she's finally broken out of her barriers and is holding her arms out saying "look at me world. This is me, I'm Emily fucking Fitch." She looks open, like she has nothing left to hide, but she doesn't look scared or vulnerable by the fact that she is revealing herself to the world, instead she looks proud and that makes me proud. Christ, I sound like a mum…only that would be incredibly wrong considering all of the things that I want to do to her.

"So am I." I remember to reply instead of gawking at her in silence. Emily giggles and gently kisses me again, causing my heart to spasm and jolts of electricity to shoot through my veins. Everything this girl does to me causes the same reaction, only they become more intense each and every time. I don't think I could ever get over these overwhelming feelings and I know for a fact that I'll never get tired of them. I could spend every second of the rest of my life in Emily's arm and I'll continue to ask myself the same question; "How on earth did I become lucky enough to get her?"

One thing that annoys me with couples is when they constantly say shit like "I don't know why you're with me, you're too good for me." I mean, I know that Emily is way too good for me but she likes me and that's all I care about, I'm not going to go and jeopardise whatever we have over something silly. It happens far too often, people should just be grateful that the person they like is with them.

"Stop thinking so bloody much." Emily's chuckle cuts through my train of thoughts. I shake my head to try and clear them and I grin at her, she laughs again and I lean in towards the melodic sound so that I can capture her lips with mine, but the sound of someone clearing their throat causes us to spring apart like we have just been electrocuted – and not in a good way.

My eyes snap up to the doorway where a tall, skinny woman with dark brown hair is standing behind Emily. Oh fuck, the oh so famous Jenna Fitch, I've met her once before but under different circumstances. Fuck she saw us kissing; her piercing glare tells me that she did. It also tells me that she'd quite happily chase me down the road baring her favourite rolling pin so that she can beat me to death.

I almost feel myself begin to shrink behind Emily, but I don't. Naomi Campbell doesn't get scared of people…but fuck me this woman is pretty intimidating. If looks could kill, well I'd be further than six feet under right now.

I watch the way that Emily swallows hard before turning around to face her mother. Jesus, it's really not right for a daughter to be afraid of their parents. But I don't blame Emily; she's been through so much shit with them that it's expected. I just hope I haven't gone and fucked it all up again…

"Who's this, Emily?" She asks coldly as she continues to glare at me, it's taking so much effort for me not to tell her to get off her fucking high horse, but I won't for Emily's sake.

"Um…Mum this is Naomi. You met her in the hospital." Emily's voice is filled with uncertainty and I know she's thinking the same thing as me, is Jenna going to flip?

Jenna's eyes narrow as she looks from me to her daughter.

Yes woman, I am currently thinking about how I want to take your daughter away and fuck her brains out, get over it. I have to contain a smirk from spreading across my face as I think of Jenna's reaction if I told her exactly what I want to do to her daughter. I think she'd probably try and murder me right now with her beloved silverware.

"Right…" Jenna's cold voice perseveres as her eyes switch between me and Emily, she looks like she has more to say but Emily gets there first, surprising us both.

"Mum I'm sorry; you weren't supposed to see that." She sounds almost ashamed as she bows her head. My eyes widen and Jenna's face even softens slightly, after everything Emily has been through with her mum, apologising is the last thing I expected her to do. I hear Jenna take a deep breath as she goes to address her daughter.

"It's fine. It's nice to meet you Naomi." Her voice and glare is still cold that it makes me internally shiver. I try to hide my surprise at her attempt to be nice to me even though she just caught me snogging her daughter, but I decide that it's probably best for me to at least try and get on her good side before she concludes on despising me forever.

"You too, Mrs Fitch." I simply reply and plaster on my best fake smile. Short and sweet is the best way, I'm not going to give her some long formal introduction after the bitch just threw daggers at me with her eyes.

"Mum, is it alright if I go out with Naomi for a bit?" Whoa, what is it with this girl and surprising me today? They must have had some serious words if Emily's apologising and asking her mum's permission. I hide it again though and continue to smile sweetly at her mother, even though I'm really thinking about how I'd like to tell her how much of a bitch she is, I know it's not my place and it would only cause problems for Emily.

Jenna stares at Emily like she has just grown three ugly heads (even though it's impossible for anything about Emily to be ugly) and glances back at me. She looks like she's about to protest but for some reason decides not to, she clears her throat uncomfortably and nods.

"Sure, just be back in time for dinner. See you, Naomi." She glares at me again before turning around and walking back into the house, I just nod and smile and resist the urge to flip her off now that her back is turned.

Once she's sure Jenna is completely out of sight, Emily turns back towards me and smiles sympathetically. I reach out and link my fingers through hers when really I want to pull her back into my arms and feel her sweet tongue dancing with mine, but I know it's too risky. Her mum might have tolerated what she just saw for now but I don't want to push my luck.

"Sorry about that." She mumbles as she stares down at our joined hands, I squeeze her fingers gently and press a swift kiss to her forehead.

"So where are we going?" I question as we walk down the road hand in hand. God it feels so perfect.

"Could we stop of at your house to pick up some jumpers? I want to take you somewhere."

Oh baby, you can take me anywhere.

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**I thought I'd do this chapter in Naomi's pov so you can all see just how crazy she is about Emily. The next chapter will be in her pov as well, the last chapter will be in Emily's.**

**So have any of you got an idea on where Emily might be taking her? ;) I hope you all enjoyed this and I would love to know your thoughts on it. So I'd love it if you dropped a review on your way out :)**


	19. This Winter Kiss Has Left Me Poisoned

**Hey guys, so after my dad erased my last file I got this up as soon as I could!**

**This chapter goes out to HyperFitched because her last chapter was totally incredible. So if you haven't got round to reading I Hold A Force I Can't Contain, I suggest you do so now. You won't be disappointed :)**

**Also to Vero; Nah my dad didn't mean to, he just acts on impulse and totally forgets to ask if anyone had stuff on there lol. Ah well. Thank you for the cyber hug! *Cyber hugs back!* :D**

**I swear that writing has become one of the only things that I care about anymore, so many people have pissed me off this week, there are too many jerks in my life haha. Though I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to FaithSky as she has been an amazingly awesome friend to me and I love her to bits :D**

**Enjoy guys!**

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Naomi's POV

We walk down the road hand in hand, talking and laughing about everything we can think of, we now finally have the time to get to know each other without all the god annoying distractions. Seeing Emily by my side, clinging to my hand as she laughs at some of my past stories makes my heart fill with loving warmth, there's nothing more that I could ask for than having Emily with me, it may sound cheesy but this is how I want it to be, I never want to lose this friendly but loving interaction between us. I've waited for far too long for this but I've been waiting in fear of it never happening, but now that she's here there's no way I'm going to let her slip through my fingers...unless you're thinking of a different sense.

I slip my arm around Emily's shoulder when the laughter eventually calms, she snuggles into the side of my body as we continue to walk towards my house. I have no idea where Emily intends on taking me but quite frankly I'd follow her anywhere if she asked me to. It's insane what I'd do for this girl and the way she makes me feel might scare the shit out of me but I'm trying to fight through it, I'm doing what I can to stand above the demons in my head so that I can make this work. The thought of losing her is scarier than the thought of letting her in, I think I'm physically terrified of losing Emily and I hope she knows what I'm willing to do to prevent that from happening.

When we stop at the traffic lights waiting to cross, Emily wraps both of her arms around my waist and leans up to gently press her lips to mine; I smile into the kiss as the tingles shoot through my body. It deepens almost instantly, her sweet tongue slides over mine as she presses her body tighter to mine. I'm flying, that's the only way I can describe this current feeling, the way her lips and tongue move in perfect synchronisation with mine is almost enough to make me forget that the rest of the world exists. It would have been if it wasn't for the fucking awful wailing sound of the traffic lights telling us to move, I huff in annoyance but Emily just giggles and continues to pull me along.

Man this girl makes everything so much better; I don't even have the urge to stick my middle finger up at the gaping drivers that are so intently watching us as we cross. None of it matters, not even the horny teenage boys that whistle when we walk past, or even the elderly people that glare at us as if we're some sort of walking disease. The only thing that matters is that Emily is holding my hand again.

I never meant to let my guard down with Emily, it was supposed to stay as some pathetic secret crush. Only I knew it wasn't a crush, I knew from the way that my breath would catch every time she entered the room that it was so much more than that. I ached to speak to her but with every chance I got; I'd freak out and turn into classic bitch mode. Whenever she was near I had to stop breathing otherwise she'd hear just how fast my breathing was, it's like she made all the oxygen in the room dissipate until I was nothing more than a gasping wreck clinging onto the thinnest sliver of air. The first time I saw her smile, I mean properly smile, not one of her shy glances behind Katie's back, I had to make sure I didn't melt right where I was standing.

I screwed guys to make it go away but it didn't work, all I could imagine was being underneath Emily, writhing as she took my heart and soul to places I thought belonged in fairytales, although that did make the sex a bit more pleasurable at least. I even slept with a girl once to see whether I just needed to get the idea of being with a girl out of my head, but that didn't work either, instead I had some annoying girl continuously texting me asking whether I wanted to "hook up" again. I never did reply even after her desperate attempts to get me to, luckily she got the message and gave up.

The first time I saw Emily kissing Effy, it felt like someone had taken a shot gun to my heart and stomach. It hurt so much that I physically couldn't breathe but I had to grin and bear it. After I was so determined to forget and not allow Emily to have such a firm hold over me but I let my guard down at Effy's party. Emily came crashing through my barriers unexpectedly and there was nothing I could do to stop her, I was well and truly stuck. When Emily asked me to let her care, I so nearly caved, I wanted to let her in, I wanted to let her care but I couldn't and that's why I snapped and accidentally put her in hospital.

When we slept together, my walls came crashing down and crumbled into thousands of tiny pieces around my feet, she took every part of me and set them on fire with her touch, making me feel more alive than I ever have before. That night I let her in, she tore down everything and saw...me, Naomi Campbell, not the girl that's usually hidden behind a thick mask of bitchyness and attitude. I expected her to run but she didn't, instead she made passionate love to me and blew my mind to besotted smithereens that screamed "Emily Fitch is fucking me!"

But of course the demons arose and forced the walls to rebuild; I pushed Emily out once again and almost lost her for good. I think that's what scared me the most, knowing that I pushed Emily to run and having no idea where she went or what might have happened to her, knowing that if anything happened to her that it'd be my fault. That's why the barriers have to stay down now, I can't lose her again, I can't even handle the thought of it.

"Jesus Christ, Naoms." Emily's voice snaps me out of my trance. I look down and see her grinning adorably up at me.

"What?" I ask innocently and raise my eyebrows to add to the effect. Emily giggles and shakes her head at me.

"I could probably walk you into a lamppost and you wouldn't notice. What are you thinking about?" She stops in front of me and wraps her arms around my waist again. Her concerned brown eyes search mine for a hint of my thoughts, but I know that there is only one way to tell her my thoughts. I dip my head and press my lips to hers; I pour everything into the movement of my lips. It's the only way I can think of telling her, I don't think there are enough words to even come close to describing the way that I feel for her. I pull Emily closer and hear a gasp in her throat as I kiss her harder, pouring every emotion and feeling into this one kiss. She can feel it, I know she can, and the best thing is that she kisses me back just as hard.

When I pull away, Emily's eyes are still closed and her lips are slightly parted, even without her eyes open I can see the surprise, it's written all over her face. A split second later who eyes flicker open, revealing her slightly glazed brown orbs, she blinks a couple of times before opening her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out except a small "wow." She then grabs the back of my neck and roughly pulls my mouth back to hers, she kisses me so hard that this time I'm the one left stunned and breathless.

I rest my forehead against hers when we eventually break from our heated kiss, when we look at each other we can't help but smile shyly. We're like a couple on their very first date; nervous, excited and maybe even a little scared, or if I stop underestimating then maybe we're both fucking terrified of this electrifying energy that runs between us. My heart beats manically within my chest, shortening each and every breath that I take, I never once believed that a kiss could make someone feel like this, actually I didn't even think it was humanly possible for someone to feel this way about someone else, but it seems that I've fallen victim to the desires of love. I thought it'd be so much harder to find someone who could make me feel this way, but Emily didn't even have to try, she had me spellbound by just walking into the room.

I gently push my fingers through Emily's luscious crimson hair, letting them indulge in one of my favourite parts about her, I've always liked it because it keeps her different from everyone else, it makes her stand out in the crowd. She may have always been caught within Katie's shadow, but she's always been the centre of my attention. I curl each soft strand through my fingers before letting the red silk rest upon her slender and very kissable shoulders.

Emily grabs my hand just as I drop it to my side; she strokes her thumb across my skin before raising my hand to her mouth and gently kissing across each of my knuckles, causing tiny shocks of pleasure to shoot through my hand and all the way up my arm.

"How very gentlemanly of you." I tease, feeling satisfied with the adorable blush that creeps up onto her cheeks. I lace my fingers through hers and continue the now short journey back to my house, we could have probably been there about five minutes ago if we didn't keep stopping and starting. Not that I'm complaining because I wouldn't rather spend my time anywhere else than with Emily.

"So where are you taking me?" I ask curiously, just remembering that I'm suddenly being dragged off to some unknown place, not that I mind, I'll happily go anywhere but I'm stumped as to why we need jumpers, I guess that rules out any clubs or pubs.

"It's a surprise." Emily winks at me and says no more.

We don't stop again until we reach my house, I slip my hand out of Emily's for a second so I can unlock the front door, I hold it open for her but she stops before properly walking into the hallway and kisses my cheek.

"Who's the gentleman now?" She giggles and strides confidently into my house; I kick the door closed and follow her in.

She has her back to me as she examines the photo frames hanging on the lightly painted walls, all of which are baby photos of me and a few whilst I was growing up. There's not many of me over the age of nine as I decided that I hated cameras and refused to let anyone take my picture. I don't mind it much now though; in fact I quite like having photos of certain points in my life. I like that photos can capture a moment in someone's life, they hold memories of times that can be so easily forgotten in a person's mind. It's nice being able to replay a time in your life especially if it's one of your happiest, a situation can change in so it's harder to obtain the memory, but it's nice to be able to look back through photographs and remember that it did once exist. I'd like to get pictures of me with Emily, I'll have to make sure that I do so, because if anything ever happens, I know I won't forget it but it'd remind me that I do in fact have this amazing girl in my life.

I slip my arms around Emily's waist from behind and gently rest my head against hers; she places her hands over mine and leans back into my body.

"You're so cute." She whispers and continues to stare at the photos until she tilts her head to rest it upon my shoulder; her hair falls back, exposing the creamy skin of her neck. I watch it for a while, trying to resist the urge to taste her skin in my mouth again, but it turns out that I can't resist the temptation that is Emily Fitch as I lean in and press my lips to her neck.

I feel a shudder ripple through Emily's body and it urges me to continue, I press long, open mouthed kisses up her neck and back down, I taste the mouth watering flavour of her skin and I want so much more. My tongue sweeps out across her flesh, tracing every tiny detail of the curve between her neck and shoulder. Emily's breathing comes out fast, her nails dig deep into my hands and I can feel the blood threatening to emerge from my fresh half moon cuts. She tilts her head further back, allowing me better access, I take it greedily, kissing harder, nipping and sucking gently every so often, I can feel the pulse in her neck begin to work itself up into a frenzy whenever I bite a little too hard, causing Emily to gasp each time and dig her nails deeper into my hands.

I continue kissing down Emily's neck until I reach my shoulders; I pull my hands away and hook my fingers under the straps of her top and bra and slip them down her arms, giving me more skin to kiss across.

"Naomi." Emily breathes out, her voice thick with the lust that is blazing between us, I groan at the sound, her voice is so fucking sexy when it's husky. I kiss across her shoulders whilst my fingers caress her arms that are now covered in goose bumps.

I enjoy the sound of each sharp intake of breath she makes, I feel a feverish heat rush south of my body at each suppressed moan that slips her lips, the tingling feeling underneath my skin urges me to take her right here and now.

I grip onto Emily's shoulders and roughly spin her around, crashing our lips together and slamming her back into the wall. Her hands fly up into my hair and tangle through my blonde curls, she pulls them so hard that if it feels like my roots are screaming, but it only turns me on more as she tugs them to pull me closer. We break apart for a split second so that I can tear her strap top away from her body and my hands go back to exploring every part of her glorious skin, I slide one across her stomach and ribs whilst the other travels up her spine, every touch causes her to shiver against me and kiss me harder. I know she's turned on, I know she wants it as much as I do but I want to be slow, I want to feel and taste every part of her and just...know her.

I slowly kiss down the front of her neck before dropping to my knees so I can kiss down her heaving chest, I stop between her breasts, smiling at the feel of her raging heartbeat beneath my lips. Emily laughs almost nervously and I look up, her eyes are watching me with a slight hint of amusement, but she looks worried that I can actually hear exactly how I'm making her feel. I lean up and kiss her softly but reassuringly, telling her that I want this, I want her and everything that comes with her, I need her to know that I'm not going to hurt her like before.

She places her hand against my cheek and brushes her thumb across my bottom lip, she smiles sweetly at me before pulling my hips into hers, and our lips connect for another hungry kiss. Emily's hands drop down to the hem of my t-shirt but just as she starts to pull it up, the front door suddenly flies open, I spring away from Emily in surprise only to remember that she's topless, so I press my body back to hers to keep her covered.

I look to the door for the intruder and find my wondrous mother staring at us with wide eyes, she looks from me to Emily and smirks when she realises what she's just walked in on.

"Sorry girls', don't mind me. It's nice to see you again, Emily." She winks at me and quickly diverts to the kitchen.

"You too, Gina." Emily replies with a giggle, clearly unaware of how uncomfortable I am right now.

"Jesus Christ, mum, haven't you heard of knocking?" I shout through to her as I feel myself beginning to blush, I hear her laugh in reply to my question.

"Unless you forgot love, I just so happen to live here too." I can sense her rolling her eyes at me, one of the great traits I've picked up from her.

"Right..." I mutter. Emily giggles again and pecks my lips, normally I'd want to continue that kiss but unfortunately my mother has killed the raging horny mood I had going on. I retrieve Emily's discarded top and hand it back to her, knowing that she's probably not all too comfortable with being topless now that my mum is in the house; Emily takes it with a look of gratitude and pulls it over her head.

"So...what are you girls' up to today?" Gina sings from the kitchen.

"None of your business mum!" She's useless at being discreet about anything, but when it involves me and sex then she has an inability to shut her mouth. Emily nudges me, silently telling me to "be nice," I roll my eyes, Effy did the same thing when she first met my mum, it seems anyone who meets Gina Campbell think she's a legend, I love her but she's so annoying at times.

"Actually, we're going out Gina. I'm taking Naomi somewhere." Emily says ever so politely and my scoff only makes her smirk at me. Oh I'm going to have trouble with these two, they are the type to sit around and laugh at my naked baby photos for hours on end whilst I sit in my bedroom, plotting a way to keep them apart.

"Oh about time, I was getting sick of Naomi mopping around when you were gone." Oh mum you are such a bitch. I blush furiously, mumbling a pathetic "shut up" before pulling Emily up the stairs towards my bedroom. My blush intensifies when I think of what happened the last time Emily was here.

I leave her standing by my bedroom door as I cross the room to my wardrobe, pulling the wooden doors open with more force than necessary and stare into the ridiculous mess I leave my clothes in. I fumble around at the top where I know I usually keep my jumpers and once I find them, I pull them down and check that they are suitable for whatever Emily has planned for us. I hand Emily the navy jumper whilst I neatly fold my favourite green one, she looks at it for a second before smiling at me and folding it.

"So...moping eh?" I let out an embarrassed groan as she cheekily smirks at me.

"I'm going to kill her." I mutter and shake my head; she knows how to embarrass me all too fucking well. Emily wraps her arms around me and continues to grin at me, clearly loving seeing the torture that I'm going through.

"Well I think it's cute."

"You're rather annoying." I joke using my usual bitchy tone, Emily shrugs.

"Yeah well, you seem to inspire it in me." She whispers as she leans in ever so closely to my lips, her sweet breath makes my heart dance the fucking Macarena. She places her small hand on my chest and grins at the feel of my wavering heart beat, she knows full well that she's the cause of its outrageous beating and she looks more than a little proud of herself.

"Come on, we'll need blankets too." She presses a quick but firm kiss to my lips and dances of around my room, not even caring that my heart is currently having a seizure.

It'd make sense to say that this girl is going to be the death of me.

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**Oh Gina Campbell, you have to love her :)**

**Review please guys, I'd really like to hear what you thought of this chapter. Can I just say that there might be quite a bit of smut in the next chapters...I'll leave you with that to look forward to ;)**

**Anyway, drop a review on your way out. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, love you all!**


	20. The Weight Of The World

**All I can say is that I am so terribly sorry for making you guys wait for this chapter, especially considering that it is the final chapter. Life just got in the way and I've only just got back my interest in writing.**

**So yeah, I'm so so sorry and I hope you all can forgive me, and I hope you all like this chapter. I have made this chapter quite long, and it contains some sexy time for you all to enjoy. My style of writing has changed slightly but nothing drastic. But yeah, here is the last chapter of Mistaken Judgement. And I apologise if there's any mistakes :)**

**Enjoy guys!  
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"Wow."

The barely audible word escaped Naomi's lips as she stared out at the breathtakingly beautiful scene in front of us. Her mouth was slightly open as she watched it in awe; I smiled as I watched the way her eyes slowly took in every detail before I turned to look at it myself.

The lake glistened beneath the sun, illuminating it from its hollow darkness of shadows from the trees; it looked so alive and incredible at that. Every beam of light danced of the surface of the still water and reflected up onto the bottle green trees, highlighting every leaf and branch that lightly swayed in the calm breeze. My eyes trailed across the murky azure water, it looked so amazing with the sun in its reflection and even with all the twigs and leaves floating around in it. Everything about this place was perfect, from the gentle sound of the rippling water to the repetitive chirping from the birds. It was beautiful and it did not fail to amaze me every time I came here.

"It's lovely, it's a lovely place." Naomi spoke finally and I felt my heart swell with pride as I looked up and saw her smiling down at me.

"It's one of my favourites." My eyes wondered away from her and across the lake again. I slipped the bag down my arm and I knelt down next to it, pulling out one of the blankets and unfolding it so I could lower myself down onto the bank of the lake without getting covered in dirt. I felt Naomi sit down behind me, obviously giving me space so that I could reminisce in my mind. I breathed in and out slowly, letting the warm air fill my lungs with its usual luscious delight. I loved this place too much. Every memory came flooding back as I continued to sit and stare in silence, just like I used to all the times before.

"Before I had Freddie, I used to come here all the time to think." I spoke quietly; still gazing out towards the lake in amazement. This was the only place that I felt comfortable with my feelings, it was the only time I felt like I could actually open up without being afraid.

"It's peaceful, nobody ever comes here. I found it accidentally one night and I kept coming back, it helped me sort my head out." I slipped off my shoes and socks and dipped my feet into the water, gasping slightly at the obvious cold that licked my skin. I did not say anything for a while as I continued to watch my surroundings; Naomi didn't speak either, letting me take my time to think of the right words to say and I was grateful for it. I turned my head to look at her

"You're the only person I've ever brought here." I noticed the way her eyebrows rose and I did not blame her for being surprised, I was surprised myself that I even brought her here; it was my place of solitude. Not even Freddie or Effy had been here. I watched Naomi's lips pull up into a shy but delightful smile and she shuffled forwards so that she was sat beside me and wrapped her arm around my waist. I rested my head upon her shoulder and nuzzled the crook of her neck, sighing in contentment.

"Why did it take you so long to come after me?" I asked her seriously as the thought suddenly came back to me. It had bugged me for a while, I mean, if she had liked me so much, then why didn't she come after me sooner? Maybe things could have been different if she had. Naomi breathed out and pushed her hand through her hair; she stared out at the scene in front of us.

"I didn't think it would ever happen." She chuckled and shook her head. I continued to watch her without saying a word. If I was honest, I was a little surprised but I wanted to know the whole story, there had to be more to it.

"You stole my heart from the moment I first saw you. I thought it was a silly crush but it only became stronger every time I saw you, but then Effy went after you and I could see how crazy you were about her. I knew I didn't stand a chance." Naomi released a deep breath and raked her fingers through her hair again. She did not dare look at me; it was almost as if she was scared of my reaction. But if I was honest, I didn't even know how to react, I never knew Naomi had felt for me for so long.

"When Effy called it off after she found out the way I felt about you, you looked so broken and devastated, I wanted to help you but I knew I couldn't. Once I saw you were starting to deal with it, I was too scared to do anything. I thought that if there was ever a chance for us, I didn't want to be a rebound. I wanted to give you time to get over Effy because otherwise you might have thought that I was trying to fuck with you, after all, Effy and I hardly have the best reputation. I thought that if there was ever a chance then...I wanted you to like me for me and not think of me as Effy's bitch of a best friend." She looked at the ground and lightly flicked the stones with her fingers. She hated opening up, I could tell and I didn't blame her, I hated it too.

Opening up makes you vulnerable, opening up gives people the potential to throw it all back in your face and hurt you. It was going to be hard for us both, but learning to open up to each other in confidence was the only way that we were going to get through any difficult times ahead, it was the only to make us work.

I felt lost for words, I didn't expect any of this, how did I never realise that she felt this way? I knew she was good at hiding her feelings but there must have been some signs?

Shit, I felt like a prick for not noticing sooner, my head was too wrapped around Effy and then finding ways to help me get over her. If Naomi had been there then maybe it would have been easier. But I knew Naomi was right, if anything had happened between us straight after me and Effy then it would have most likely been a rebound and there was no way I would want anything like that to taint our potential relationship. With Naomi, I wanted everything to be new; I wanted everything to be fresh. No more holding grudges and thinking the worst of people. I wanted to trust Naomi and I wanted her to know that she could trust me too.

I slipped my hand into Naomi's and intertwined our fingers, she squeezed mine gently but didn't look up, so I leaned in and kissed her cheek, which finally made her look at me.

"You're so not what I expected." I whispered and her lips curled up into another one of her beautiful smiles.

"Well I think that's a good thing." She replied before leaning in and capturing my lips with hers and wrapped her arm around me, letting me snuggle up into her side.

We talked for what seemed like hours. I asked about her mum, how she became friends with Effy and just general factors of her life. She asked me what it was like having Jenna for a mum and Katie for a sister, which made me groan and shake my head. When I told her some of the stories of the way Mum and Katie used to treat me, Naomi shook her head and looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. She hugged me tightly whenever I started to go quiet, and kissed me whenever she thought that I was sad from retelling the stories. It was exactly the kind of support I needed from her when I opened up; it let me know that she cared, even if she did burst out laughing when I told her about my pervy shit of a brother.

We fell into a comfortable silence with my head still tucked under Naomi's chin, I felt so relaxed and content that I didn't even notice that my eyes felt heavy. I sighed happily and allowed my eyes to close, it didn't take long for me to be seconds away from slipping into a deep slumber, but when I felt something soft and light stroke down my cheek and across my bottom lip, my eyes fluttered open to find Naomi smiling down sweetly at me.

"You tired, baby?" She asked softly and I smiled one of my usual tired smiles. I tilted my head and brushed my lips over hers before shifting slightly to kiss her harder, and I received an eager response in return. I completely forgot that only moments before I was on the verge of falling asleep as Naomi's warm breath filled my mouth and completely took over every inch of my body, causing my heart beat to increase and my skin to erupt in goose bumps. The fluttering in my stomach soon spread to the rest of my body, my blood boiled within my veins and a feverish heat washed over me.

Naomi's tongue drove me crazy, the slick muscle danced perfectly with mine by moving and curling in all the right ways. The way her fingers brushed over my skin, the way her hungry mouth and tongue clashed with mine, the taste and feel of her, it soon became too much for me to take. She was taking over and I was terrifyingly intrigued, I wanted Naomi to take over, I wanted her to consume me and take me somewhere new. I wanted to experience this stupidly magic world that only consists of cute feelings and obscene happiness. I no longer wanted to doubt every feeling that I felt, I wanted to be set free only to then be captured in Naomi's arms.

I was scared - fear is the one feeling that will never fade for anyone, not even in the happiest of times. Fear is something that everyone must deal with, so many try to fight it but fear will always win. The happiest and richest people might have everything, but they still have the fear of never having enough, or losing everything that they have. Even the poor and the unluckiest people, some might say that they are better off simply because they have nothing left to lose, but they have the fear of losing their sanity and maybe their last string of hope that keeps them tied to the world. Fear is inevitable, but sometimes it's a good thing to be afraid as you become more aware of everything around you, it makes all the feelings clearer and easier to read.

I was scared of Naomi, I was scared of everything that she made me feel, and I knew she was scared of me too. I knew why I was terrified of her, she was a threat, she made me feel things that I thought were impossible but she had the power to tear it all away from me, she could destroy me with the click of her fingers if she wanted to. But the more I told myself to run, the more I was drawn to her. I was fucking stuck and there was not a damn thing that I could do about it.

My insides were flaring. I kissed Naomi harder and she soon caught onto the burning feelings that were erupting within me, obviously from my frantic kisses and my hands that were pretty much clawing at every part of her skin, as she kissed me harder and slowly pushed me to the ground. Her slender body slipped in between my thighs, her only support was her hands that were placed either side of my head. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer, needing to feel her body wrapped around mine. Naomi pulled back slightly, making me groan in dismay until her body was replaced with one of her deliciously strong thighs, and she thrust it hard into my desperate centre, making me arch and groan slightly in satisfaction, until she stopped again.

"Naomi, for fucks sake…I need you." I pleaded huskily, trying desperately to pull her body back to mine, but she just grinned at me from above.

"Say it again." She whispered. I pushed my hands up through her soft blonde curls that had fallen in front of her face; I moved them out of the way so that my eyes could take in every detail of the beautiful face above me.

I had never realized just how gorgeous Naomi was, I never noticed the curves that structured her face perfectly, or how nicely shaped her lips were and how much prettier she looked when she smiled, and I certainly never noticed how her scowl and sarcastic attitude were actually a major turn on.

But her eyes - man, I never noticed just how deep they were, I stared up at them and I found myself drowning, suffocating within the deep pools of blue. I felt frozen, I was stuck in the ocean and I was drowning without any hope of surviving. Her eyes pierced into mine and I swore she was actually staring into my soul. I shuddered but I couldn't tear myself away, her eyes were tearing through the last of my barriers, she was tearing me open and pushing me towards the edge, waiting for the right time to throw me head first off the cliff.

I felt more naked right now than if she had stripped me off my clothes; in fact I would rather her do that. I pushed myself up so that my lips brushed lightly over hers, I felt Naomi's breathe hitch and I smiled, it was nice to know that I had the same effect over her that she did over me.

"I need you." The words barely passed my lips before Naomi crashed hers to mine. I used my hands that were still tangled in her hair to pull her body fully on top of mine. The weight of her body wasn't uncomfortable, it was actually comforting, she was not heavy for a tall girl, so the feel of her body pressing into mine somehow made me feel safe, I was wrapped up in Naomi's body and nothing could hurt me.

Our tops were soon torn away from our bodies, seeking the warmth from each other's skin. Naomi was smooth against mine; I could feel electricity crackling between the parts of our bodies that were so tightly wrapped together. I didn't even register the feel of the gravel digging into my back from underneath the blanket, I knew it was there but my mind was clouded with a thick haze of lust, nothing mattered apart from the feel of Naomi's body moving with mine.

She teased me by simply stroking her hands over my back, my stomach, my neck, the back of my thighs, everywhere that wasn't my tits or my aching core. She was building me up by just taking me in and as much as I loved it, I couldn't stand it. I needed to feel her inside of me, I needed her to make my mind explode as I screamed out her name, and I needed her to destroy me with her brilliant fingers.

I decided to show her the effects of her teasing by burying my nails deep into the skin beneath her shoulder blades, I broke away from her lips and leaned up towards her ear, sucking and nipping it gently before moaning loudly. The whole of Naomi's whole body rippled with a shudder and I heard her stifle a gasp. I decided to push her further by rocking my hips up into hers and that was when something snapped, Naomi quickly pulled back so she could reconnect her lips with mine and roughly slammed me into the ground, causing a moan to rumble in my throat and pour into her mouth.

It drove her insane, she kissed me ferociously and I swore that my lips were actually bruising, her tongue no longer danced; instead it lashed against mine as it fought for dominance. Her hands caressed me desperately, one curling around my ribs to my back and expertly snapped open my bra and removed it with a single swift movement.

Her lips left mine and traveled down the front of my body to my now exposed breasts; her fingers teased my nipple which hardened at her touch. She watched me as she played with them; I could feel her smirk at the way my body reacted, each flick across my erect nipples caused my body to twitch as spasms of pleasure coursed through me. I groaned in annoyance, becoming quickly irritated by the feelings building up inside of me. I needed a release and Naomi knew it, that was exactly why she was taking her time, she wanted to overwhelm me with all these feelings before finally letting me crash.

Naomi soon dipped her head towards my chest; her warm breath tickled my skin and sent more waves of excitement to rush through me. She pressed her lips firmly against the space between my breasts before circling her tongue around my nipple whilst her fingers tweaked the other. I gasped as she kneads my breast with the palm of her hand and bites sharply on my nipple. My gasp came out sounding pained when really my insides were dancing, but Naomi kissed it gently nonetheless like she believed she actually hurt me. Who knew that this girl, the girl who everyone believed was emotionless, was actually such a sweetheart? It was adorable, she was adorable, but fuck, I did not think she even realised how crazy she made me.

She sucked, nibbled and played with my tits like there was no tomorrow. My fingers were tangled through her hair and my back arched at each and every wave of pleasure that washed over me, causing me to push my tits up further into her eager mouth and hand. A groan rolled out of Naomi's mouth and vibrated through my chest, the sound ricocheting through my ribcage. I grinned wildly and tugged on her blonde locks, breaking her away from her heated make out with my breasts so that she could attack my mouth with her glorious tongue instead.

Our kisses were hot and fast, Naomi bit down on my bottom lip several times, initiating a moan from me and making her all the more hungry for my body. Her mouth left mine again but instead journeyed to my neck, she sucked on my pulse point so hard that I knew she was going to leave a mark. It didn't bother me though, I wanted her to leave a mark so that everyone could see that I was hers, and she was mine. I never thought I would say it, but I wanted to belong to her, I wanted everyone to see me in Naomi's arms and know that I was hers. Fuck, what was she doing to me?

She didn't stay at my neck for long; instead she pulled away from me and kneeled in between my legs. I missed her instantly, I needed to feel her body pressed against mine again, I ached to feel her sweet mouth on mine. My hands fumbled around, trying to find hers until I felt them settle upon the top of my jeans and I automatically stopped, knowing well enough what she was about to do, and there was no way in hell I was going to stop her. Naomi didn't disappoint either, as when she unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off of my legs, she lightly but deliberately dragged her nails down the inside of my thighs, causing me to take in a sudden, sharp intake of breath. But she didn't stop there, once she tossed my jeans aside, she quickly leaned forward to kiss me passionately before slipping back down in between my legs. Her hot breath collided with the insides of my thighs and I felt myself become wetter by the second, I was so turned on that I could almost smell my own arousal. Naomi hooked her fingers into the side of my panties and pulled them down painfully slow, I pushed my hips up into the air in a hurry to get the item away from my body and once they were slung to the side along with my jeans, I found myself almost begging her to fuck me senseless. Unfortunately, she was not that kind. She continued with the teasing, her warm breath tickled over my soaked centre which almost made me come instantly. She dragged her nails up and down my thighs, digging them in deeper each time she went down.

"Naomi, for fucks…." I complained, but the moment I felt her tongue slide over my clit, everything flew from my mind to the point where I was barely coherent. I was not even capable of finishing a sentence as all that seemed to form in my throat was moans.

Naomi's tongue gently circled around my clit, only occasionally pressing hard against the right spot to make my legs twitch. She sucked gently but with enough pressure to make me light headed, I bit down hard on my bottom lip as her tongue slowly dipped inside of me. I gasped, arched and dug my nails into the ground as her skilful tongue explored every part of me. I closed my eyes as the world above blurred and spun.

"Oh shit." I cried out as I felt two strong fingers slip inside my wetness, pumping slowly in and out of me as her tongue furiously lashed against my clit. I reached down and tangled my hands through Naomi's hair, gripping harshly on each lock as unbelievable pleasure took over me. She picked up her pace as I begun to grind down on her hand, my hips moving rhythmically which each of her thrusts. Her fingers curled and stroked inside of me before slowing down as she slipped a third digit into me with ease, her tongue was now replaced by the palm of her hand as she slowly crept back up my body, kissing each and every part of me until she reached my lips. I whimpered into her mouth as she slammed hard against me, I dug my fingers into her shoulders as I threw my head back, not even noticing the pain as my head connected with the floor. Naomi followed me down, kissing my lips gently before blowing small kisses across my face. I felt the adoration pour of her lips as she took in every detail of my face. I felt the love in her fingers as they moved inside of my body, and I sensed the affection in her eyes as she watched me get closer to coming completely undone. And that was when I realises something, this wasn't just some amazing fuck with a girl that liked me, Naomi wasn't fucking me, she was making love to me.

I forced myself up and pushed Naomi back until she was sat on the floor, and I quickly set to work on removing her of the last of her clothing. I gulped as I took in the sight of her naked body and I felt a heat rush through me again. Naomi bit her lip in a way that drove me crazy, her eyes dared me to make a move, and I did. I reached out to her, and our lips crashed together again, I was in her lap and I wrapped my legs around her waist as we kissed passionately. Our movements had slowed, but each kiss and touch was wrapped in a tight silky ribbon of love. We didn't need to fuck like crazy, not when our bodies shared a love of their own, it was just as amazing.

I stroked my fingers down Naomi's cheek lovingly before slipping my hand down her body, touching as much of her as I could before I reached down between her thighs and brushed my finger over her clit. Naomi jolted against me as she gasped, and her body twitched as I slowly circled her bud of nerves. She was so wet beneath my finger that I felt my body react excitedly. A fire burned inside of me and I was pretty sure it had spread to Naomi from the undeniable pleasure that caressed her now dark eyes; it was so strong that it could burn everything around us; it could burn it all down until we were surrounded by nothing more than ash whilst we remained like untouched porcelain.

I sped up my movements as I casually slipped two fingers inside of Naomi, her body's reaction spurred me on as she buried her face against my chest, failing hard at trying to suppress the moans that naturally slipped past her lips. Her breath was hot and ragged against my skin, her fingers dug deep as she clutched my hips. I bit down hard on my bottom lip to prevent a moan of my own, seeing Naomi worked up and breathless was ridiculously hot, especially as she got louder with the harder and faster that I moved my fingers. She rolled her head back to look me in the eyes, before leaning in to lightly tease her tongue across my lip, causing me to lurch forward in attempt to capture it but she pulled away with a flustered smirk plastered on her face. And that's when she did something that I did not expect, she slipped her arm past mine until her hand came into contact with my centre, and she instantly slipped two fingers straight inside of me and began working me up to a heavy frustration with a fast pace of her own.

"Oh fuck" we groaned in synchronisation. My movements nearly stalled, but I continued even as the muscles in my arm screamed, and it was well worth it from Naomi's reactions.

Sweat covered our bodies as we arched into each other, our breathing uneven from nearly screaming out because of the overload of pleasure and desire.

As Naomi's fingers curled deep inside of me one last time, the whole of my body rippled from the extreme orgasm, and I felt hers do the same as her walls clamped around my fingers. Fireworks exploded behind my eyes as I cried out her name, gripping her skin tightly as the last waves washed over me. We crashed together, holding each other almost as if we were about to shatter into thousands of little pieces.

We didn't move straight away, we just held each other as we gasped for air, our bodies melded together in a tight embrace, until eventually we removed our fingers from each other.

I had never felt like this before, not as I clasped against the blonde's beautiful body and pant against her neck, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I desperately searched from my breath. I nuzzled my face against Naomi's skin and gently kissed the spot just beneath her jaw line - feeling pleased as I felt her shudder against me.

My heart slammed against my chest, I had no idea how Naomi managed to make me feel that way, but it was amazing nonetheless. I had allowed myself to be completely open with her – in more ways than one. I had shut down the barriers, and waved goodbye to the foreboding insecurities. I had never felt as relaxed as I did right now, and it was such an incredible feeling. I felt as though the weight of the world had finally been removed from my shoulders, and I was now free to just be me – to be Emily.

"Are you okay baby?" Naomi whispered delicately against my hair, I could sense that her insecurities were still present at this moment, but it was something that I knew we would have to work on, together. If I was allowing myself to finally give Naomi my all, then she would have to learn to do the same.

At that moment – I knew our relationship would not be smooth; there were a lot of holes that we would have to help each other heal. But that was the future, and this is the present, and all I wanted to do at this moment was to curl up with the girl I adore.

"Of course I am I've never been better." I replied truthfully, and felt Naomi's arms tighten around me.

We stayed in a comfortable silence, for how long, I was not sure. But eventually I had to move before tiredness took over, and this moment was too perfect to fall asleep on. I pushed myself up from Naomi's lap and walked unsteadily towards the bank of the lake, my legs had turned to jelly so I was surprised that I didn't collapse, but I managed to make it to the lake without tripping or making a fool out of myself.

I was comfortable with standing completely naked in front of Naomi, especially as I turned my head to look at her, only to see that her jaw was clenched, and her eyes were wide as lust danced in her beautiful blue iris's.

I could not contain the grin as it tugged upon the corners of my lips; I was still amazed at how Naomi reacted whenever she got a glimpse of my body. It was a major boost for my ego, but I could not help but play with the new found power. I turned my head back towards the lake, it almost seemed as though the sun had perched itself upon the lakes surface, spraying out all sorts of beautiful two toned colours, mixed with different shades of a crimson orange glow. It looked like something out of a movie, or a painting, but I did not think either could have quite captured its breathtaking beauty. I closed my eyes and smiled at the feel of the sun's warm radiance, I lifted my arms, my fingers reaching towards the horizon as I pushed myself up on my tip toes, feeling the muscles in my back constrict as I stretched, only to release comfortably as I relaxed.

I heard a barely audible gasp from behind me, and I turned with a smirk already painted across my face. Naomi's expression was priceless, her mouth hung upon and her eyes were wider than before. I licked my lips seductively and flicked my hair out of my face so that it only fell upon my left shoulder. I tucked my bottom lip underneath my teeth and smiled innocently at my shell-shocked beauty.

"Still want this baby?" I whispered loud enough for Naomi to hear, my voice low and husky. I watched her gulp as I teasingly slipped one finger down my chest, between my breasts and down my stomach, trailing down between my thighs as I cupped my centre with my hand, groaning audibly at the pressure.

What happened next had happened at such speed that I wasn't sure whether it was real. Naomi shot up from the floor and strode towards me, her lips and body crashing against me with such a force that I stumbled backwards…resulting in us both falling into the water.

I screamed as the ice surrounded me, but all that came out was a burst of air bubbles and a strangled noise. I did not have time to hold my breath, and so the water burned behind my nose and down my throat. I pushed myself up and luckily my head broke the surface quickly, I gasped for breath and the air hit my lungs uncomfortably. I coughed and spluttered as I swiped my hair away from face and tried desperately to keep the water away from my eyes. I cursed repeatedly, my voice now a high pitch from the sudden shock.

I kicked my legs furiously in the water to keep myself afloat but to also keep the blood circulating through my body, as I was pretty sure that I could have died there and then from the unbelievable cold. Even above the surface, the water felt suffocating and made it harder to breathe, my skin even hurt from the flare of goose bumps.

I looked around desperately for Naomi, noticing that she wasn't above the surface. About a millisecond later, the water broke as blonde pierced the surface. I watched in shivering amusement as she squealed and flailed around exactly as I had, screaming and cursing at the freezing water.

I began to swim towards Naomi as her back was towards me, but she twisted just as I reached her, and I almost seemed to glide straight into her arms. Not even the cold could stop us from colliding with a heated kiss, I needed her, and I needed to feel her skin against mine. My arms instantly curled around her neck as she held me around the waist and our icy lips soon warmed as we kissed each other feverishly, the cold no longer mattered as long as I had her against me.

The lake was too deep for us to stand, so we began to push ourselves back towards the bank, desperate not to break the kiss. It proved harder than I thought, but soon enough my back came into contact with the edge, and Naomi's wet body held me hard against it as our lips continued to dance their sweet dance. It wasn't one of them kisses that usually initiated another round of sex, it was a kiss that told a story of its own, it kept us connected as we silently declared our love for each other, and we didn't need to have sex just to show that the feelings were there.

Naomi kissed down the side of my face and down to the crook of my neck, where she suddenly stopped. Her forehead rested upon my shoulder and her breath came out shaken against my skin. I did not know exactly what to think, but I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist on instinct, holding her protectively and snuggling against her.

"Naomi, what's wrong?" I asked softly as I stroked my hand up and down her slender back. She shook her head causing her wet hair to slap against my skin, her breaths were still shaken, but I guessed it to be from the cold.

I pulled away slightly, giving me enough room to put my hands onto the side and push myself out from the water. The breeze now felt chilled as it caressed my wet skin, but I ignored it as I helped pull Naomi out from the water, I needed to warm us both up before our bodies settled into a state of shock. I manoeuvred us towards the blanket that was already set out and made Naomi sit down, she had not spoken a single word and her body was trembling worse than mine. I grabbed the bag and removed the last two blankets, wrapping one around me and the other around Naomi. I rubbed up and down her arms, hoping that the friction would slightly unfreeze her body, but she still trembled and refused to speak. I was worried, to say the least. My insecurity was on the verge of rearing its ugly head, and I wanted to force it away before they took over. I was scared that Naomi was closing herself of from me, and I couldn't help but think that maybe her own insecurities had taken over, and she was about to run from me again. But then her eyes slowly flickered to mine, and she smiled slightly.

"That definitely worked better than a cold shower." She whispered, and I dropped my head as I sniggered.

I moved to sit beside Naomi, holding up the ends of our blankets so that our bodies could stay connected. We leaned in to each other and fell into another content silence. It wasn't that we didn't know what to say, it was because we had already said everything necessary, and the current silence said things that had already been spoken, and shown.

I didn't question Naomi's silence; I let her take as long as you needed as I hoped she would talk to me in the end. For once, I was being positive. I heard her mumble something into her hands, but she shook her head when I asked her to repeat herself. I frowned and reached out to slip my hand through hers and squeezed it gently, letting her know that I was there for her, and she could speak to me. Naomi lifted her head and looked in straight in the eyes; I could see fear and nervousness reflect in her own, so I squeezed her hand again and gave her a genuine smile.

She mumbled slightly louder than before, but I was still unable to hear exactly what she was saying. Her eyes had diverted to the ground again and her hand was clutching mine almost painfully. She was acting weird, and I was desperate to know why.

"Naomi, please will you talk to me?" I asked gently, not wanting to scare her of. Naomi shook her head again, but opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, but nothing came out and instead she bit her lip. She heaved a sigh before lifting her head to stare back out towards the lake.

"Will you be mine?" I managed to make sense of the rushed words, and my eyes widened when I realised what it meant. Naomi was asking me out, and stupidly enough I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I thought it was something that we would discuss later on.

But the shock didn't change the way I felt about her, I knew I wanted us to be together, especially after everything that had happened between us yesterday and today. I wanted us to be official, and to cut the bullshit of childish relationships.

"I already am." I murmured. Naomi's eyes snapped up to mine and she studied my face as if she was trying to find the catch in the sentence. But I simply smiled, waiting for her to realise that I wasn't joking. It took her a moment, but she broke out into a wide grin and lunged towards me, her arms wrapping around me as she smothered my face with small kisses. I couldn't help but how adorable she was being, I was pleased with her reaction, but I was proud of us both for how well we were handling the whole situation.

I stroked Naomi's face as she led against me, our hands were entwined and we were wrapped together as tightly as possible. I couldn't remember the last time that I physically felt so happy. My spirits were so high that I could actually feel them as I no longer felt tense and crabby. Everything just seemed so…perfect.

As Naomi and I cuddled in silence, I knew right then that I would not have it any different. In fact, I wouldn't change a damn thing even if I was handed the chance to do so, I wouldn't even change anything that happened between me and Effy, as in the end, it gave me Naomi, and it gave us this moment. Sometimes you have to grasp what is around you, and let go of your ignorance, and I now knew that with Naomi in my arms, I could handle anything, and I could let go of all the bad things that I had chained to myself.

I pressed a kiss to Naomi's cheek and sighed happily, wondering how cliché it was for me to think that those who make you the happiest are sometimes the ones that are staring you straight in the face. Because when you let your guard down and stop searching, they'll always find a way to strike you down, leaving you in a pool of gooey, soppy mush. The old Emily would have smacked me for thinking such a thing, but the old Emily would have been a fool for denying someone as wonderful as Naomi Campbell.

* * *

**And there you have it, the last chapter of Mistaken Judgement. It's funny; even though I haven't written this story in a very long time, it was still quite sad to finally finish it. I loved writing this, but unfortunately things just got in the way so I didn't have the time. But I promised myself that I would get it finished for you guys, which is what I've done, no matter how long it's taken me :) and I think having time away has improved my writing, so I suppose that's always a good thing.**

**I honestly don't mind whether you guys review this or not, in fact, I wouldn't blame you all if you started ranting at me for taking so long lol. But the choice is up to you, I just hope you all enjoyed it.**

**I will put up an author's note tomorrow, just to explain a few things and to say thank you to you wonderful readers :)**

**Peace out, KairiM xx**


	21. Authors note

Hey guys, how's it going? So this is my author's note now that Mistaken Judgement has been finished (took my time, I know, I'm sorry!)

So first of, I thought I'd explain how I first got the idea for the story. The whole thing actually randomly popped into my head one night and I couldn't settle until I started writing it down. Originally, the whole story was supposed to turn out a lot differently to what it did, but that's because throughout the story, things happened that made me grow up a bit, and so I wanted to change the way things happened. Towards the end, I wanted to go with it at more of a mature approach, and in the end, I think I achieved that. I'm not completely satisfied with the beginning of the story, but I didn't want to change it as you guys really seemed to like it. So I stuck with it.

The name Mistaken Judgement is valid to the story, as the whole thing is about judging people wrong. It's to make people realise that it's easy to judge a book by its cover, but it's the text that makes it a good story or not, and that applies to humans as well.

I wanted to do something different from the characters too. A lot of writers keep the characters the same, but I wanted to make mine seem different by changing their attitudes and personalities, and the friendships.

I liked the idea of Freddie and Emily being best friends. Not many people like Freddie, but he was actually one of my favourite characters, so I wanted to make him an important character. A lot of you have said that my Freddie has made you prefer him generally, so I'm glad about that. And I wanted to take a different approach with Emily and Naomi; I didn't want it to be the usual story of Emily chasing Naomi. I liked the thought of Naomi chasing Emily, and Emily not being interested until she looked past Naomi's hard exterior and saw who she was underneath.

When I first started this fan fiction, I did not expect it to get the reaction that it has. Honestly, I expected it to be one of those stories that someone briefly reads through and then goes back to the homepage. So I really want to thank each and every one of you for all the kind comments, it really does make me feel all warm inside and it brings a smile to my face :)

I know towards the end I became pretty lousy at updating, but unfortunately that was something I could not help. I had a lot of home problems, which meant I was moving around a lot and didn't have the time to sit down and write. So after a while, I got terrible writers block to the point where I lost interest in writing altogether. But it seems to be back, so I'm going to try and update my other story asap.

I would thank you all individually, but I'm pretty useless at knowing what to say. So instead, I just wanna say that I love you all! You are all amazing, and if I could, I'd give you massive hugs! But here, have virtual hugs instead! :D

Though, I have to say a huge thank you to FaithSky, as our stories on here made us meet and now I have possibly the greatest friend I could ever ask for, and she has pushed me countless times to continue writing by giving me the confidence. So I just wanna say, thanks man! I love you long time, and to anyone who hasn't read her stuff, do it now! She is a bloody fantastic writer.

I'd also liked to thank HyperFitched. She started out as an anonymous reviewer, leaving me lovely comments and really spurring me on to write. And then, she started writing her own story, and I was so blown away at how incredible she was at writing, that it felt like an honour to know that she enjoyed my story, when it didn't even come close to hers. So thanks so much, and everyone needs to make sure that they read her stuff, you won't be disappointed.

Foolishgames, you reviewed my story a lot with very nice and encouraging commenst. You weren't afraid to point out any mistakes and I really appreciated that. Then, Bam! You came out with Electric Feel and I was totally hooked. Gotta say man, absolutely loved that story. So thank you.

Phoenixdyer, you have also become a good friend of mine, and I loved your stories! You were always very nice and eager for my updates, and I loved it, thanks!

Vaskon and Vero, you both left short but sweet comments which I always loved to read!

Radiogaga89, you gave me a sudden burst of reviews as you started reading it after I had already updated a few times, and you always said what you liked about the chapters, so that really helped.

Heatofmymoment, your reviews always made me laugh and it was always a joy to read them.

And to everyone else, I could sit here for ages writing all of your names but I probably wouldn't get much sleep if I did haha. But you all know who you are, so thanks so much!

I love you all very much, and once I've finished Can You Keep A Secret…I will be back with something else!

If you have any questions, feel free to inbox me.

Take it easy guys.

Love, KairiM xxx


	22. Mistaken Judgement Sequel!

Hey guys! Wow, it's been a long time since I finished Mistaken Judgement. Who misses this story?! I certainly do! That's why I've been thinking of making a sequel. I've been thinking through a few ideas and I've come up with one that I might work through. Here's a summary for it.

_Pushing Me Away_

**The girl's are happy together, but when Naomi wants to grow up from their current lifestyle, Emily's reaction is to rebel against what she's told to do. Can Naomi save the girl from unknowingly destroying herself?**

What do you think? I'd actually really like it if you would all leave a review with your thoughts and any ideas that you have for it. Tell me everything and I will take them all into consideration, so let me know what you would like to see happen in the new story, no matter what it is!

Thank you to all of my followers, you guys are great and I'll try to not let you down! So drop your reviews and I'll get working!

Lots of love, KairiM xxxxx


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